


My Everything

by AbbyO317



Series: The Blue-eyed Beauty [1]
Category: Love Island (Video Game)
Genre: Acts of violence, F/M, Past Abuse, Read at Your Own Risk, Trust Issues, You Have Been Warned, possible trigger warnings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:01:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 42,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24965632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbbyO317/pseuds/AbbyO317
Summary: I hit send on the application and it was finally done. The wine had struck again and now I had ended up applying for Love Island, due to a heartbreaker being, well, a heartbreaker.I never really expected to spend my six weeks of Summer in Spain, with strangers.Well, “strangers” as in everyone except him…I didn’t need the money, I already had a bit of fame in the industry I worked in so I didn’t need that, either. I just wanted to have a good time! But it got cut short by him. That was until I met the Jay-Z to my Beyoncé, also known as Noah Bryson.——————ON A LONG HIATUS——————
Relationships: Bobby/Main Character (Love Island), Lucas Koh/Main Character (Love Island), Noah/Main Character (Love Island)
Series: The Blue-eyed Beauty [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1993492
Comments: 4
Kudos: 58





	1. Break Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This story contains scenes that readers might find disturbing depending on your taste in stories. Viewer discretion is advised.
> 
> This is my only warning for you so don’t give out in the comments if there’s something you don’t like 🖤

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter we find a little bit out about Veronica’s past and the events that led up to the moment of her best friend signing her up for the hit TV show; Love Island.

**January 19th 2018, Glasgow, Scotland.**

_Lass,_

_As I write, I already feel that I will regret this letter forever. You brought me joy like no other woman ever could at a time I needed it most. You brought out the best in me by simply being you. Your love has lifted me to the greatest heights imaginable._

_There may be billions of women in the universe, but none will ever shine brighter than you. Like the North Star, you'll guide my heart throughout life no matter where I am. When the night skies are filled with darkness, your love will shine through to give me hope._

_Thank you for giving yourself to me in the purest sense. Thank you for showing me what love was meant to be. Maybe someday our stars will align again._

_I have heard from people, when you are in a relationship with a person, you are in a relationship with their family and friends too. I believe this to be true, and sadly, I must tell you I feel like I just don’t fit with your family._

_When we’re with them, I feel like they don’t want to accept me, because of where I grew up and who I am as a person. Also they don’t like me. I know we’re different, but I thought the fact that we all loved you, would be enough to make our relationship work._

_The way I treated you during our relationship was not okay. I never meant to hurt you but I did, emotionally and physically and that’s not okay. I feel like I need to take a step back from our relationship and let you live your life without misery._

_I love you with all my heart but we both know I’m no good for you. And I’m sorry for pouring some of the feelings out that I have kept bottled up inside, to you_

_Sincerely,_

_Bobby x_

“What the hell?”

I angrily dialled his number into my phone and hit the call button.

“Awright? Tis Bobby. Ah'm nae free right noo, please lea' a message.”

“This isn’t a voicemail Bobby, I know you too well now to believe you’re actually on the phone.”

There was a long silence and then a sigh came from the other end of the phone.

“W-what is the meaning of this letter?”

“Ah juist feel lik' we need a break.”

“A… _break_?! Are you kidding me?!”

“Aye, Ah'm breaking up wi' ye.”

“N-no, you can’t. Please stay! I can’t be left alone! _The cops are looking for me._ ”

_They are actually. For possession of drugs_

“Goodbye, Veronica.”

“Goodbye? Are you kidding me, babe?!”

“Dinnae ‘babe’ me. A goodbye is a goodbye, end of. Enjoy yer life wi'oot me.”

_Listen. Don't **ever** “goodbye” me_

“I took care of you for _years_ when you were trying to get over your addiction and this is what I get?!”

“Och, ye teuk care o' me. Aye, ah _definitely_ believe that. _Ye wur in th' detention centre fur a few o' they years._ ”

 _**As if he’s a saint.** _ _His abusive ass should be thrown in jail too_

“Don’t bring that up, McKenzie. I spent a year there for _nothing_! I didn’t do anything wrong! They were _your_ drugs, not mine.”

“Ah’m done. Done wi' oor kinship. Done wi' everything. I’m goin’ awa ye, Veronica 'n' it's fur yer own guid.”

I dropped the little blue box that I was holding in my hands onto the floor in surprise.

_Is he being serious?_

_Oh my god_

“ _Are you fucking serious right now?!_ I spent four fucking years of my life falling in love with you and this is what I get?!”

I tried to keep it together but I could feel the salty tears prickle behind my eyes and soon my mascara was running down my face.

I was heartbroken, I could barely speak. I wanted to get one last “I love you” from the love of my life before he hung up, but he was already gone.

I slumped to my knees on the carpet and covered my face with my hands. I was so embarrassed and I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I threw my phone across the room and cried out in heartbreak.

I thought we had something. I thought I was good enough for him and I really thought he loved me.

_I’m such a fool, why did I trust him? Why did I stay with him, when he held a knife to my throat, when he hit me, when he told me he wished I were dead?_

**~**

I moved to Glasgow from Edinburgh when Bobby and I began our relationship. While I was there I felt like an outsider. And I felt like I didn’t fit in at all.

Bobby’s family was full of drinkers, but the thing that surprised me the most about them was he was the only McKenzie to have taken drugs, that I knew about anyway.

The first time I was dragged over to his parents’ house I had no idea what to expect.

At this point I had no idea Bobby was a heavy drinker so I was absolutely _stunned_ at the amount of alcohol he could consume while still staying relatively sober.

The house smelled of smoke and there were bottles of alcohol all over the tabletops. His mum was so rude to me and Johnny referred to me as a hooker. Bobby got blackout drunk that night and I had to drive him home.

The rest of the night went by in a blur and I’ve hated going to their house ever since.

Bobby’s only ever been to my parents’ house once and it was on the day my mum passed away.

The visit went as well as you’d expect; An argument a minute between Bobby and my father, Travis, about me.

Travis kicked him out of the house faster than a month old slice of pizza when he asked for a beer which was a _bit_ dramatic.

He hated Bobby so much I thought he’d kill him when I wasn’t around. He told me Bobby was no good for me but I didn’t listen, still trying to sew up our toxic relationship that was falling apart by the seams.

As soon as we broke up, I moved back to Edinburgh, a not-so dangerous place. Well it’s _nothing_ compared to the Gorbals.

Edinburgh has always been my favourite city in Scotland, and when I moved there for the second time, my life changed.

I gained trust from new faces... such as my best friend and partner in crime; Toni Noriega, who signed me up for Love Island, the world famous TV show where people apparently fall in love.

I just think most people go on Love Island as a publicity thing, get endorsement deals and then break up after half a year to go on a different TV show or take up modeling for a fashion brand to stay relevant on social media.

Take Lucy from last year as an example, her reasoning behind going on the show was to get Mason back, which didn’t work since he and Abigail are in a happy relationship.

As soon as they left the villa, Lucy and Rohan parted ways and Lucy became an ambassador for Pretty Little Thing, while Rohan followed his dreams and ran away with the circus.

The reason why I flipped out at Toni when she signed me up to the show was because I never want to fall in love again. It’s a case of the one that got away, but in this situation it was _**bad**_. I was seventeen and he was twenty two and it was a very one-sided, abusive relationship, also known as my relationship with Bobby McKenzie.

**Let me tell you how I got into this mess;**

Five years ago I was set up on a date with a mutual friend by my best friend, Toni. I was so excited for that date as it had been one of my first.

**November 25th 2014, Glasgow**

“Babes, I’m so happy for you. Are you looking forward to it?”

“Of course I am! What’s his name and I will have a great time”

“Eric. His name is Eric.”

_Ah yes. Eric_

I smoothed down my hair and we headed out the door of Toni’s apartment. We drove in a comfortable silence but the nerves were getting the better of me.

“I’m so nervous.”

“Don’t be. Eric’s a great guy.”

_Sure, sure_

We pulled up outside the bar and I stepped out of the car, nearly tripping over the kerb. I looked up and saw a group of boys at the door, jostling each other about and cracking up at something one of them said.

I looked into the eyes of the tallest guy in the group who cracked the joke and was immediately hooked. I couldn’t take my eyes away from him and quite frankly he couldn’t take his eyes off me either. I got the weirdest feeling when the butterflies fluttered in my stomach as his fiery amber eyes met mine.

I was knocked out of my trance by Toni when she pulled on my arm to drag me into the bar.

She stopped at the door and told me to text her when the date was over.

I walked into the bar and was surprised that it was quite empty. There were a few small groups scattered around.

I sat down on a stool at the counter and took out my phone to see a message from Eric.

**Eric: Sorry love, something came up and I can’t make it.**

“Are you serious?!” I asked a bit too loudly causing a group of older men to stare at me.

I heard the door open but I didn’t take notice of it until I felt two hands on my hips and someone breathing softly on the back of my neck.

I smelt the overpowering scent of cologne so I knew, I was in trouble.

“Hey baby-girl.”

“Fuck off” I said.

His grip tightened on my hips and spun me around. My breath hitched and I was terrified but I made sure to take a good look at his face in case he did something to me.

“Oi! wha’ dae ye think yer? _Bade awa' fae mah burd!_ ” A voice called out, startling the man.

He let go of my hips and I turned back around to the counter, praying to God the creep would take the hint and leave.

In the corner of my eye I saw the stranger push the creep away from me a few times and I hoped it wouldn’t break out in a fight.

“Hold on a second, mate. I didn’t know she had a boyfriend. I’m so sorry” The creep said.

“Ye better be feckin’ sorry or Ah’ll shaw ye how we kiss in Glesgoe!” The stranger hissed.

_A Glasgow kiss? Really mate?_

I thought a fight would break out so I took the stranger’s hand and pulled him towards me.

“Ah missed you.” I said sweetly to the complete stranger but didn’t look at him.

My hero coiled an arm around my waist and I tensed up a bit.

“Hey, it's okay. I’ll git this eejit awa' fae ye.” He said.

His gravelly voice sent shivers down my spine and I turned around, the most handsome man my seventeen year old eyes had ever seen was standing in front of me, with his arms around me and a concerned look on his face.

_Damn, it's the guy from outside._

“Are ye okay?” He asked and sat down on the stool next to me.

“Naw, Ah’m no’. Ah was stood up on a date and then _that_ happened.” I gestured around the area with my hands while speaking.

“Wha’ ye swallyin’?” He asked.

_Swallying? Is that like... drinking?_

“I’m not having a-”

“Whit are ye swallyin’?” He asked again, this time more slowly.

“Uh… I’ll have a glass of scotch please.”

“Perfect.”

He called the bartender over “Gaz kin ah git th' usual, 'n' a whiskey fur th' missus?” and pointed with his thumb at me.

_I said I wanted scotch. Sure look, it’s the thought that counts_

“Ooooh McKenzie’s got a girlfriend, has he?” The man cooed.

_McKenzie_

_His name is McKenzie  
_

_Remember that_

“Nae yit. Th' lassie wis getting uncomfortable fur some eejit wis touching her inappropriately.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry love.” Gary said and hugged her across the counter.

“It’s okay. I was saved by this hero next to me.” I said and gave him a friendly nudge.

“Aww, that’s cute.”

“Clam up Gary, will ye.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. But was I talking to you Bobby?”

_Did he not say his name was- oh that’s his surname  
_

_Bobby McKenzie_

The bartender got us our drinks and Bobby paid.

“I can pay for my own drink.” I said.

“Ah feel like Ah have tae make it up tae ye, it’s mah treat.”

“Well you could make it up tae me by going on a date with me so I can learn everything about you.”

_Shit, that sounded creepy. Let’s just get off the stool, run away and pretend this never happened_

“A date? A'right!”

He pumped his fists in the air and picked me up in a hug with the biggest smile on his face. I felt so safe in his arms and he made me feel something else I’ve never really felt before. Happiness.

_I hope this is the start of something amazing_

“Let’s go outside for a few minutes?” I proposed.

“Sure Lass, juist gimme a sec.”

He gestured to my drink and then asked “Ye drinkin’ yours?”

“Uh… no, sorry. Ah feel terrible that you wasted your money on me”

He knocked back my drink faster than the speed of light and I knew then and there he was a drinker. But I didn’t know how bad he was.

I took his hand and we walked out of the bar in silence.

The group of boys Bobby was hanging out with had gone at this point, so it was just him and I. Alone.

“Sorry. Ah ne'er git yer name in thare.”

“It’s Veronica.”

“Veronica.” He repeated, but the way he said my name drove me wild.

He turned to face me and backed me up against a cold, damp wall on the side of the building.

His eyes flickered down to my lips for a second, then back up to my eyes. He smiled, showing his adorable dimples and I could finally see the perfectly placed freckles on his cheeks.

This was the perfect moment for a kiss but it started to lash out.

“‘ere, take mah jaiket.” He said softly and wrapped his leather jacket around my shoulders, giving me a hug while doing so.

“Thank you, Bobby.”

He was now so close to me I could feel his breath on the very top of my forehead, by my hairline.

He leaned down to be level with me and then he kissed me. I screamed internally with excitement and happiness as this was my first kiss in a long time.

I should have pushed him away and called a taxi but I didn’t. If I did, I never would have been in this mess. I never would have gotten these scars. But I weaved my fingers through his purple-tipped dreads and pulled him closer to me with one hand.

My other hand coiled around his shoulders as his hands found my hips. We kissed as if we had been doing it for years, it just felt so natural, and for a first kiss I’ll give it a ten out of ten.

_Ten out of ten, would kiss again_

I could smell his earthy cologne mixed with whiskey and tobacco, which was surprisingly comforting. I also nearly died, as I had a crush the moment I saw him.

“Wan’ tae go back tae mine?” He asked as he pulled away.

I hesitated but stupidly said; “Yes.”

I should have said no but I wrapped my arms around his waist while he called a taxi. We went back to his place and I ended up having sex with him.

I also learned that he worked in a hospital kitchen which I never thought he’d say. I know it’s not right to assume where people work or what they’re like but I really thought he was a rockstar, he had the whole look going on and everything.

**Present time. February 22nd 2019**

I stayed over in his that night and we were inseparable for four long years. That was until a year ago when he broke up with me because drugs and alcohol were _way_ more important to him than his girlfriend.

I felt so happy for the first year I was with him. He was such a sweetheart who would do anything for me, and then he went spiralling out of control when his mates introduced him to heroin.

He abused the drug for a long time and I seriously thought he was going to die. I took all of the needles out of his apartment but that did nothing since he moved onto sippin’ lean which was one of the dumbest decisions he ever made, another one being trying to stab me in the chest, but he got my arm instead. Thank god.

It’s been a year since I last saw him. I’m now 22 and I feel like I could find love again, if only I tried. But I can’t. He broke me, he filled a part of me I didn’t know was missing, and now he’s gone, forever...


	2. Baby, You’re No Good For Me, Darling

I was staying in my best friend, Toni’s apartment for the weekend. It had been a few months since my hall sentence had been lifted for drug possession.

When I was in the juvenile hall I had a lot of time on my hands to think about what I was going to do with my life. My family hated me, especially my nan who actually referred to me as a felon which was not okay since they weren’t even mine.

I had no money. I had nothing except Bobby and even then my life was a trainwreck with the abuse, going to the hall, doing drugs, smoking, drinking and generally just not being the Veronica Scott that everyone knows and “ _loves_ ”.

I decided to apply for a job in the local club since you can make a good bit of money there if you can dance and if you have a lot of upper body strength. Also I was told that if you’re hotter you can receive more money but I don’t know if that’s true or not.

My first night there was not what I expected at _all_. Every time I tried to lift myself up onto the pole I would slip down and fall into the splits which was so painful.

The fourth week I was there was the worst. Older men were staying after hours and they all hit on me, calling me “Sweetheart” and “Young Lady” and whistling at me which was so creepy. I should be used to it though since I had been there for four weeks already. I brushed it off and continued to pay the bills by doing what I love. Dancing.

After I got a bit of spare cash I saved it up and gave myself a mini makeover. I completely transformed my look and I finally felt happy with how I looked.

That was until Bobby broke up with me and my life fell apart a little more. I spiralled out of control and began going to work in a drunken state which nearly got me fired.

The worst part was… remember the old men I was talking about? Well, one night I had just finished up and one of the regulars asked me if I wanted a drink.

I said “No thanks” like any sensible person would but that made the man’s expression change. He grabbed my wrist and dragged me into a dark room where I couldn’t see what was happening.

I could hear what was happening though, my breath quickened and I covered my mouth when I heard a zipper open.

“What are you doing?” I asked before my mouth was taped shut and my wrists were pinned painfully tight to the cold ground. They were released for a second and I heard the sound of a packet being opened.

My heart sank and my stomach dropped through the floor. I started to shake with fear as my wrists were held against the floor once again.

The man then did something I wish he didn’t do. I wish I didn’t go to work that day like I had planned. I just wish I could go back to that day and leave the second my hours were finished.

I felt like I was spinning around the room at full speed, I got so dizzy and blacked out. When I woke up the lights were on and I was still on the floor with my underwear thrown over the other side of the room, and an open condom packet next to me.

I was told by one of the girls that I worked with that something terrible happened to me that night but I can’t remember feeling or seeing anything.

Every time someone would touch off me by accident or touch my wrists when talking to me -because people do that?- I would flinch and flash back to that horrible day.

After that, I hit rock bottom, I thought there was no way of bringing myself back to the old Veronica. That was until I met Antoinette Noriega. My best friend.

She advised me to save the cash I got for my “modelling” job and give myself a makeover to lift my spirits a little. I did not and will not tell her what I do since it’s frowned upon by _most_ people.

And by “most people”, I mean everyone except people in the business. Even the people who go to the club, including regulars, frown upon it.

I took her advice and when I got a bit of spare cash, I saved it up and gave myself a makeover. I completely transformed my overall look, physically and mentally. I started going to weekly therapy sessions and I finally felt happy with how I looked.

I also wanted to feel like a brand new woman after my breakup with Bobby. I wanted him to see what he was missing out on.

The makeover came just in time for the worst Christmas dinner ever in my Abuela's beach house in Florida too.

**December 2018, Edinburgh, Scotland and Florida, USA**

During the period between leaving the centre and now, I had to meet up with my family for Christmas dinner in December, which is normally my favourite month, but this year was different.

I had to fly over to my Abuela’s house in Florida which meant I needed a passport, which would have been fine if I wasn’t in the Juvenile hall for a few years.

I changed my hair colour, wore coloured contacts, lost as much weight as I could in that short space of time and managed to fly to Florida for the worst Christmas dinner of all time, just in time for my sister to announce her pregnancy with her boyfriend.

And my first mistake was believing that she was telling the truth. Attention seeker. 

**February 2nd 2019, Seattle, Washington DC**

I was watching the final episode of season one of “Love Island” on Toni’s television in a daze. It had been announced that auditions for season two were being held in a few months. 

It has been months but I think I’m finally ready to tell Toni about what happened with Bobby as she still thinks I’m in a relationship with him.

“Toni, there’s something I need to tell you...” My voice was shaky as I spoke.

“What is it hun? Is everything okay?”

I took a deep breath. “Me and Bobby… we’re done”

Her mouth fell open in shock so she covered her mouth with her hands. “Really?”

I nodded sadly and I tried holding my tears back.

“Oh my gosh. I had no idea.” She said and outstretched her arms to give me a hug

“He wrote me a note and left it on the kitchen table of his apartment before he left for the day. In the note he said we need time apart and it’s for my own good.”

“He’s such a prick!” She got up off the couch and began pacing the room back and forth.

“No he’s not!” I shouted back.

“He is!”

“Are we seriously going to have a back and forth ‘He is’, ‘He isn’t’ argument?”

“No… I’m sorry Vee. It’s just, I know you were madly in love with him, you probably still are… but he’s no good for you. You have to listen to me.”

“I’m listening...”

“Bobby is a horrible person who-”

“Excuse me? How dare you Toni! You have only met him once so you cannae say that.” I snapped.

“Woah babes, chill. I’m just messing with you! He probably just needed some time on his own to think about what he’s going to do with his life. Just like you did in the centre.”

“I guess….”

Toni sat back down on the couch next to me and wrapped her arms around me. She lay her head against my shoulder and snuggled into my side.

“I’m sorry if you got annoyed at me, Vee.”

I tilted her head with my finger to look at me, I smiled at her and booped her nose. “Hun, dinnae ever be sorry unless you’ve done something wrong. And as your best friend I literally _have_ to forgive you for anything”

_Well not everything..._

_If she stole my man I’d have cut her out of my life  
_

_But she’s never done that, thank god_

Tears began to fill my eyes and trickled down my cheeks even though I tried to fight them off because I told myself; _There’s no point crying over a boy who I’ll never see again._

“I just go for the wrong boys, that’s all.” I said and my smile faltered a little.

“Hey, it’s okay hun, you will find _someone_.”

“Why’d you say it like that?”

“Because, what if one day… you see the boy that keeps appearing in your dreams?” She smirked.

“Ah highly doubt that” I sighed.

“Do you know anything about him?”

“Mhmm, he’s got gorgeous amber eyes, and he’s from Glasgow. _Glasgow_! Ye _know_ how much I love Scot-”

“I do babes, you’ve lived in Edinburgh for your whole life! Anything else….?”

“In my last dream about him, he said his surname was McKenzie and then I woke up because of...” I trailed off

“...Bobby. It’s Bobby, isn’t it.” Toni sighed. “Can’t get him out of your head, can you?”

“I just miss him so much Toni!”

_And I love him like I never loved anyone before. I’m always going to be in love with him no matter what and that will never change._

“I have an idea! How about you apply for Love Island?” Toni suggested.

_Love Island?_

_Is she serious?_

“There’s no way I’ll get in.”

“I bet that you will!”

“Really? Have you not seen the actual state of me?”

“That’s because you were drinking a ton and taking drugs and everything with Bobby….” she trailed off. “...which you shouldn’t be doing.”

“And because I was fired from the modelling agency by Elisa and her wee little Elisa-Bees.”

_I have never been a model, ever._

“Mhmm, now, give me your phone.”

I reluctantly handed Toni my phone and she began rapidly typing into the little boxes on the screen.

 **Name: Veronica Scott, Age: 22, Hometown: Edinburgh, Scotland. Occupation: Model, Zodiac sign: Pisces/Aries (March 20th 1997), Height: 5'2”** Toni typed into my phone.

"And……. Done! I've sent it, no going back now hun!" She laughed.

"Are you sure about this?” I laughed nervously as I was lying about where I actually work.

"Don't worry yourself hun, chill out, relax! Drink some wine...."

** Bobby **

_Why am I doing this, it's not like I'm going to get in anyway since I’m nearly thirty_

_Here goes nothing_

**Name: Bobby McKenzie, Age: 27, Hometown: Glasgow, Scotland, Occupation: Hospital Caterer, Zodiac sign: Gemini (June 2nd 1994), Height: 6'4”**

"Hey honey, whit are ye up tae?". My mum asked as she popped her head around the door of the living room.

"Maw! Ye scared th’ life oot o’ me" I said.

"Whit urr ye daein'? Waiting fur yer good-for-nothing ex tae tiext ye? ye'v bin in 'ere fur hours! Johnny 'n' th' lads from th' kitchen ur 'ere."

"Ahm applying fur Love Island….."

_To take my mind off HER_

Laine let out a high pitched squeal "That's great, Ah hawp ye git in 'n' meet wi` a bonnie lassie, unlike _Veronica_.” she spat. “Noo, git aff yer bahookie 'n' say ‘hi’ tae yer cousins who actually wan’ tae visit ye.” 

"Someone’s in a guid mood, fur once." I muttered.

“Robert McKenzie. Dinnae blether lik' that tae yer mither!”

“Ah’ll be in, in a minute”

**5 months later**

**Veronica**

I strolled into the introduction room. It had black walls with neon pink love heart signs covering them. There was a pink stool in the middle of the room in front of the love hearts.

"I can’t believe I’m actually here!"

I sat down and crossed my legs on the pink stool and waited for a producer to give her instructions on what she was going to have to do and say. I drummed my fingernails on the sides of the stool in anticipation as I was so excited to be there.

"Now we would like you to introduce yourself!"

"Right.”

"And……. _Action!_ "

“Hi, I’m Veronica, I’m 22 years old, and I'm a Model from Edinburgh. The reason why I’m here is because I’d like to try to find love again. I love a guy with a bit of banter… and guys who make me feel like I’m loved y’know. I’m sorry, that got a bit deep.”

I smiled but tears started to well up in my eyes. My voice rose in pitch to a squeak and I felt a lump form in my throat as I spoke.

“I need a minute.” I said and ran out of the room, slamming the door behind me.

I choked on my tears and I covered my face so no one could see me cry. 

_I’m not like this at all, I never cry. What is up with me?_

“Miss Scott! We weren’t finished, get back in here!” One of the producers demanded behind the closed door.

I shuffled my way back into the room and sat down again in front of the camera.

“I don’t really have a type, but my first and only boyfriend was tall, like _really_ really tall and he had good banter, he also got on with my mates and my family, so a boy who’s accepted by my parents would be nice to have by my side.”

_Liar. Bobby never got on with the girls **or** my family_

_To be fair now- well, not fair but anyway- his family and friends hated me too_

**Two hours later**

"Thanks Veronica. You can go home now, we will contact you when we need you again."

“It’s about time! Bye.”

I skipped out of the room and down the hall.

**Bobby**

"Is Robert McKenzie out here?" Katherine, one of the producers, called out as she opened the door.

"Aye, Ah’m here!" I waved my arms around a bit, then hopped up and walked into the room.

"Can you introduce yourself to the camera please?"

"Sure.”

I introduced myself to the camera which was a bit weird and finished the interview in less than half an hour, which was just so great for me since I’m spending the week with Zayne, my dad. A drunk who I apparently got my violence and abusive tendencies from.

Zayne also introduced me to a countless variety of drugs including Lean and ecstasy, also cigarettes and whiskey, which gave me a one way ticket to rehab back in 2015.

All I said in my introduction was “Ah’m looking for a lassie who’s up for a wee bit of banter here and there” and “Ladies be warned, when I fall for someone, I fall hard and I fall fast”

"Thank you Robert, you can go now"

"Tis Bobby, and you’re welcome.” I said with a sad smile on my face and left the room.

I knew I was supposed to go to Zayne’s right now, but I couldn't bring myself to move. I sat down on the ground against the wall with my head in my hands.

_Why am I like this?  
_

_**Snap out of it Bobby!** You're meant to be happy, remember? _

_You're meant to be the funny guy who always puts a smile on other people's faces_

_The guy who always has a smile on his face, no matter what._

_The guy who **doesn’t** hit girls anymore. _

_The guy who’s going to **s** **top** taking drugs and drinking_

"Hey, Mate. Are you okay?" I heard a voice from a distance. I looked up and saw a tall-ish guy with blonde hair walking towards me with his arm outstretched to help me up.

"Aye, ah’m okay, juist thinking aboot home 'n' stuff…" I said as he pulled me up.

"I'm Gary by the way. Gary Rennell. It’s nice to meet you!" He shook my hand in a friendly way and I immediately felt better.

_Gary_ _…_

_Gary who?  
_

_Ohhh right, it’s Gary from the bar_

_I think_

"Bobby McKenzie, Great tae meet ye Gary."

"Have we met before-?”.

Realisation hit Gary’s face that he knew me. “Oh you’re the lad who came into my bar every day a few years ago! The one where you met your girlfriend!”

“ _Ex-girlfriend._ And thanks fur the reminder, mate.” I rolled my eyes and forced a laugh out.

"Let’s grab a drink. It’s on me, we can talk there!"

We went to the bar, had a few drinks and I told Gary everything that happened between Veronica and I. Well, my version. The non-toxic, non-abusive version so he wouldn’t think of me as a monster.

**Veronica**

**June 5th 2019, Hotel Gloria de Sant Jaume, Mallorca, Spain.**

I had just finished my makeup and looked at my icy blue eyes in the mirror, they looked amazing with the pop of colour on them.

_This is definitely way too much makeup… what the hell am I talking about? I wear a full face every single night for work._

My phone dinged. It was a text from the Love Island crew.

**Veronica, it's time, pack your bags, you're on your way to paradise! Your summer of drama, challenges and a whole lot of LOVE is about to begin! #NoGoingBackNow #SummerOfYourLife**

**  
** I finished straightening my silky, soft, chocolate brown hair giving it a bit of a wave and body, sprayed some hair-spray, put on my shoes and was in a cab on the way to the villa.

_I’m way too dressed up for this_

"Any chance you could make a U-Turn, sir?”

"Not now love, we’re here!"

The jeep engine faded as they pulled up to the villa. I blinked in the bright sunlight as I stepped out of the jeep, and I put my favourite black, cat eyed sunglasses on.

_Woah, this place looks way better than I expected_

Seconds later, another jeep pulled up. A pair of expensive heels hit the ground when it stopped and I immediately got a good vibe from her.

The new girl lost her footing and nearly fell while getting out of the car. I ran over to the jeep and just about caught her in time before she could smash her beautiful face off the ground. The braids that fell down her back were now covering her face as she giggled.

“Thanks babe, not many girls would have helped me there! I’m Hope, by the way” She gave me a tight hug as I helped her up and I knew we’d become friends instantly.

_I **Hope** she can’t smell the vodka and tobacco. Drugs don't have a smell so that’s fine, well, I don’t think they do anyway_

"What's your name?”

"I'm Veronica! It’s great to meet a bonnie lass like you!"

"It's lovely to meet you too, I love your accent! Where are you from?" She said

"I’m from Edinburgh.”

_I’m not_

_I was **born** there, but my relatives are Spanish and Mexican_

_Mostly_

I started to feel a thumping pain in the sides of my head and my vision went blurry.

_Woah. What’s happening to me?_

“Woah! Babes, are you alright?” Hope asked and managed to keep me still by gripping my sides tightly and holding me up.

“Ugh.” I groaned. “My head”

“Do you need a lie down or-”

“No. I’m fine, thanks Hope.” I muttered.

“Let’s check out the bedroom, shall we?”. Hope took my hand and I followed her through the double doors and into the Villa.

_Please don’t ask me about my past or my job_

_Whatever you do, please don’t_

"Look at this bedroom!" Hope exclaimed and threw herself onto one of the beds.

The door clicked open, and another voice called out “Heyyy girls!! I’m Lottie!"

The new girl ran over to the both of us and barrelled Hope and I into a hug. She had very pale skin and bubblegum pink, wavy hair. She also had a distinctive Aussie accent and the most amazing tattoos across her arms and left leg.

“I can’t believe we’re in Mallorca!” Hope squealed.

Lottie looked me up and down which I was used to since men and women do it every night at the club. "You guys are gonna be some competition. Your makeup is amazing Hope!"

"Getting my makeup perfect is very important to me."

"How about you Veronica?". Lottie asked

"I love to go _all_ out."

_Especially when I’m on stage even though I don’t do that as much anymore since... the **thing** happened_

“Hmm… yeah I got that vibe from you babe. I feel like we’ll gel so well. So… what do you do girls?"

_Shit, they’re going to call me a slut aren’t they?_

_Oh god  
_

_Be prepared_

"I'm um… I’m a- I don’t want to talk about what I do.”

The two girls raised an eyebrow and just shook their heads.

“Ok babe, we’ll find out soon enough anyway”

_Oh no you won’t, I’m not telling anyone what I do._

Another girl with shiny ginger hair falling down her shoulder into a long braid pushed the door open and strutted in confidently.

Her confidence was thrown out the window when she saw her competition, also known as me.

"Hey ladies, I’m Hannah." She said.

"Hi! Come on over." Lottie waved her over.

The new girl approached us, and hugged each of us briefly.

"Did I miss any good chat?" The newest addition to the Villa asked.

"We were just talking about getting to know the gorgeous boys that are going to be here"

Hannah pulled a disgusted look on her face and scrunched up her nose. “What's that smell? Smells like Vodka and Tobacco.”

“It’s my perfume!” I answered quickly.

_No it’s not, shut the fuck up. Don’t act like you’re fully sober either_

"I don't know about you guys, but it feels like I've been single forever." Hope sighed as she quickly changed the subject.

"It's so nice to hear someone else say that. I thought it was just me.”

I added "I just got out of a bad, long term relationship a year ago. I found a way to get the hell out of it so I broke up with him...”

_Nope, my last so-called “boyfriend” was Bobby and **he** was the one to break it off._

“Ugh yeah that’s the worst!”

"Yeah, he was an absolute prick though..."

_That’s actually the truth, surprisingly_

"It's definitely his loss. I know we've just met but you're obviously a total catch." Hope exclaimed.

“Thanks babes, so are you!”

"I was starting to feel like all my relationships were cursed. Like where are all the good men out there?" Lottie scowled.

"They’re all taken by other women!”

_But that won’t stop me from getting what I want, when I want it._

"We're all single so we should help each other find the right guy. I feel like we're going to be this team of awesome women all looking to get each other coupled up. I don't want to end up fighting with you guys over a man…" Lottie trailed off.

"I'm all about putting the girls first!". I said and smiled reassuringly at her.

_As if_

"I'm so glad you agree. I think we've got to build some trust between us before the game begins."

_Trust? When have I ever trusted someone other than Bobby, when we were together, or Toni and the rest of my friends?_

**Bobby**

The jeep pulled up to the Villa and I stepped out into the sunlight, I shielded my eyes with my hand and I heard the engine stop of another vehicle. Gary emerged from the jeep which took me by surprise.

"Gary? Mate, Ah didn’t know ye wur comin' tae th' villa!"

"Did I not tell you?"

"Naw. But this is great!"

"I know right? Let's head onto the lawn."

We were met with three more handsome men sitting on the beanbags. Man, they were _handsome._

_I’ve got some **strong** competition_

"Well, lads? How are we! I’m Rocco." Rocco got up off the beanbag and shook our hands.

“I just can’t wait to see what birds will be joining us here!”

"Right anyway, Rocco, Ibrahim and I were just talking about our idea of our perfect girl, so, what's your idea of the perfect girl Gary?" Noah asked.

"I don't really know to be honest, well like obviously a girl who is loyal, kind and caring."

_The perfect girl?_

"What about you Bobby?"

Before I could answer, Rocco answered for me “Big ass and big tits! Am I right boys?”

_Oh yeah, definitely  
_

_My man Rocco’s got it right_

No one replied but I nodded my head, agreeing with him. Noah shot me a look which was odd since I thought he’d be the type to like girls like that from my first impression of him.

“Whit? Isn’t a lad allowed tae 'gree wi' someone whin thay say thay lik' whit a lassie looks lik'?”

Noah rolled his eyes but he was smiling. “I’m messing with you Bobs, Rocco’s got it right”

_I knew it. So I **can** read people _

Gary cleared his throat loudly and said “...as I was saying, what’s your type? Other than…”

“Don’t.” I mouthed to him.

“I won’t say a word.” He mouthed back.

"Dae ye waant me tae go intae aw the wee bits aboot whit mah perfect lassie looks lik'?"

"Yes, please do. I'm curious." Ibrahim said.

"So…. Dinnae laugh at me but, there’s these dreams Ah've been having-"

"Wet dreams?" Rocco asked in a slightly teasing way.

"Na, Rocco! Anyway thir's this lassie that appears in mah dreams ev'ry nicht. She is bonnie, lik' sae bonnie... Anyway a' ah ken aboot her is that she’s git icy blue eyes, chocolate broon locks, tanned skin, th' perfect smile, ye ken?”

Noah's phone beeped.

**Hello boys, the girls will be out shortly to pick which one of you they want to couple up with. They will each pick a boy, but, all of you stay up for grabs until the final girl has chosen. Prepare for a summer you will never forget. #LoveIsland #SummerOfYourLife**

_Here we go  
_

_Bring on the girls!_

**Veronica**

We were interrupted again by the click of heels approaching. The final girl was slightly taller than me, they all were. She had tanned skin, brown to blonde ombré hair, deep brown eyes and a killer smile.

"Hello ladies, I'm Marisol!"

She glided into the room and air kissed us on both cheeks.

"That's such a pretty name" Hope gushed.

"Thank you!" Marisol smiled. "I see you've all met already."

"Not at all, come join us! I'm Veronica and this is Hope..."

"We were just saying it's important that the girls support each other. Veronica was just saying she is a total team player". Lottie pulled me into a friendly, one armed hug.

"I respect that we should be friends, but I go after what I want. I won't compete for the sake of it, but if I see someone I like… I won’t be afraid of stepping on toes."

_Me too girl, me too_

"Oh totally, I’m here to find the one"

“B-but Veronica. What about girl code??” Lottie stammered.

_What about it? I’m here to play the game and hopefully get myself a boyfriend_

"I could go for a coffee right now" Marisol chirped.

"Coffee? Babe, we've been here for ages and no one has popped a bottle yet. I think it's about time we find where the fizz is and start this summer off right!"

“I need some more vodka” I blurted out. “Shit that was meant to be said in my head! Anyway I really need some, mix it with some Sunset Rum and you’re golden!”

“Veronica! Sunset Rum’s got like eighty percent alcohol in it though!”

“Only eighty? That won’t be enough to get me through the day.”

_I seriously need to stop_

Ding!

"Guys I got a text! I've been looking forward to saying that way too much." Lottie held up her phone and waved it around

“Oh my gosh!"

"Here we go ladies."

**Girls, it's time to meet the boys! We will give you further instructions in a moment.**

“I’ve got a terrible feeling about this.” I muttered as I walked over to the window between two of the beds and leant against the windowsill. 

I lifted the blinds up slightly and peered out of the window to see five gorgeous men standing in a line looking slightly nervous.

The first man was the shortest out of the boys but looked well built, he had shiny blonde hair and was wearing blue swim trunks. He was waving his arms around and howling with laughter at something the third man said.

_Blondie will be your name, sir_

The second man was very tall, a foot taller than me maybe. He was handsome, tanned and also well built like the first man. He had the dreamiest chocolate brown eyes and straight, brunette, nearly black hair.

He smiled at something one of the men said and that made my heart melt.

_Hot fucking damn  
_

_I think I’m in love already  
_

_I can’t think of a nickname for you other than the Sex God. So the Sex God it is!_

The third man, the one who made Blondie laugh was slightly leaner than Blondie and the Sex God. He had forest green eyes, long, curly, brown hair. He also tattoos on his chest and arms and he looked like the kind of guy you’d want to travel around the world with.

_He looks like a “Chris” but I’m calling him Tattoos  
_

_I feel shitty for giving them nicknames when I don’t know them_

The fourth man was slightly shorter than Tattoos and the Sex God, but taller than Blondie, he was the most ripped of the bunch, he looked like a chiseled Greek god.

He had black hair braided into little cornrows, dreamy, deepest, almost black eyes and dark skin that gleamed in the sunlight. He looked like the kind of guy that any girl could have a lot of fun with.

_Your name will be… Hercules_

I regretted moving on to the fifth man beside “Hercules”.

He was the tallest of the boys by a good mile or so.

My eyes started to trail up his sleek, tanned legs, past his purple swim trunks and stopped at his toned arms and lean figure.

_Come on Vee, it’s not who you think it is_

_Just because Bobby’s favourite colour was purple does not mean it’s him_

My heart leapt out of my chest when my gaze landed on the freckles spread across his chest and shoulders.

_It’s NOT who you think it is_

My trailer her eyes up further and his amber eyes shot through mine like bullets when they darted towards my movements in the window. Thank god he couldn’t see it was me.

_It is who you thought it was_

I knew he wouldn’t know me until I spoke since I’m unrecognisable from my girl-next-door look I used to have going on.

Apart from my name, I have become a different person.

_It’s him, it’s him oh no  
_

_Why did I come here?_

I stumbled back away from the window, my heart beating like clappers and I felt the colour wash from my face. The girls noticed my sudden movements and Lottie and Hope tried to catch me before I crashed into the ground in shock.

“It’s him!” I cried out and my heart hammered so hard and fast I thought it would rip through my chest.

“Who? Who’s out there that made you scared, honey?” Lottie asked, her voice soothing like the sensation you get when you apply cold ice to freshly burnt skin.

“Breathe hun, you’ll be fine!”. Marisol tried to relax the poor girl but it didn’t work.

“Babes, come on. Whoever he is can’t be that bad!” Hope joined the conversation, she also wished she didn’t open her mouth at that second.

The air got trapped in my lungs so I took a deep breath and said “Ah cannae go out there, Ah ken one of the boys”

“And is this boy a nice boy?” Hope asked.

_No, but he’s the love of my life._

“Not really, no.”

“Oh babe! Come here!”. The girls lifted me and my emotions up into a group hug. “We’ve got you.”

Ding!

_What now?_

“Ooooh it’s me! I got a text! I was wayyy too excited to finally be able to say that” Lottie squealed

**Girls, it's time to meet the boys! There are five handsome men waiting to meet you on the lawn. You'll take it in turns to make a good entrance and pick a boy. But don’t relax once you've coupled up! The boys all stay up for grabs until the last girl has chosen. #PickAndMix #SummerStartsHere**

_Oh nooo this is so bad. Toni, why did you sign me up for this?_

“I wonder who’ll be going first?” Hannah asked.

**Veronica, you will go first.**

_Could this day get **any** worse?_

I took a very deep breath and tried to take a step forward but my legs were like jelly and I fell to my knees.

“I can’t do this”

“Yes you can babes, take your time.” Hope said comfortingly and flashed her a friendly smile.

“I can do this!” I announced, a bit too loudly for my liking.

I took a shaky step forward, and another, and another. I was finally walking again which was surprising since I was living the day with a massive hangover after having drinks with my girls the night before.

I held onto the door frame as I made my way out of the room and heard a few “I hope she’s okay”s coming from the bedroom.

I slowly made my way down the flight of pink stairs, holding onto the wall as I went down to help me not trip. 

I got to the door and put her hand on the gold door handle, it felt cold and it was probably freshly cleaned.

I looked through the white framed, glass doors one more time and saw Bobby's hands rub over his face. He nudged Sporty Spice and pointed at the door, he said something to Sex God, Gary and Tattoos.

_Pretend you don’t know him, Pretend you don’t know him_

I slowly turned the handle and cracked the white door open, wringing my hands out and I took a deep breath. I said to myself; “ _Why am I so scared? I don’t need to be_ ” as I opened the door fully and stepped onto the pavement.

_Just breathe and everything will be fine_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter😁


	3. Who Knew That Kiss Was The Last One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica is faced with the boys and it isn’t all “sunshine and rainbows”…

**Veronica**

_Do NOT pick him. I repeat: DO. NOT. PICK. HIM!_ I screamed internally as I pulled open the door fully and stepped out onto the astroturf.

I saw the boys still standing in a line in front of the pool, none of them said a word as I walked towards them. Bobby was the first to look my way and his killer smile I adored so much melted my heart.

His eyes ran over my body as I strutted, well... tried to strut, out of the Villa since I could barely walk with my shaky legs. His eyes widened like saucers as I struck an elegant pose in front of them.

The boys started to nudge each other playfully and Bobby whistled at me.

_Did he really have to do that?_

“Hey boys! Hope you’re ready for a good time!” I said loud and cheerfully and gave them a wave. 

I saw Bobby’s expression change and he slapped his hands over his mouth in surprise, and in his eyes, I knew he recognised me.

_Oh no_

“Oh shit.” I heard him mutter in a way that I could not tell if he said it in a good or bad way.

“Mate, I know, she’s so fit” Rahim said to him, not knowing why Bobby reacted differently to the other boys.

_I hope this won’t be an awkward reunion_

“I’ll tell you a bit about myself. I’m Veronica. I’m 22 years old and I was born in Mexico but have lived in Edinburgh and Glasgow for most of my life. I’m also a… a um… a model?”

_I am not a model. Well I am, but parading around a stripper pole in your underwear or absolutely nothing is a LOT different to actual modelling_

The boys did not look convinced at what I said.

Blondie took a short step forward and he plastered a massive grin on his face. “Alright? I’m Gary, I’m 25, and I’m from Chatham.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Ga-” I started to say, but he continued on.

“My mates call me the BFG and I hope you girls aren’t afraid to explore my beanstalk, if you know what I mean...”

_That’s got to be the worst joke/line I have **ever** heard in my life.  
_

_Thank u, next_

I moved on from him and gave my attention to the Sex God since he turned me off completely.

“Hey gorgeous, I’m Noah. I’m 26 and I’m from Romford” He said, his voice sounded deep and sexy and that made my stomach do somersaults.

_He called me gorgeous!  
_

_Oh my god, wow_

_How can a voice be so damn sexy?_

“Hi Noah, it’s lovely to meet you!”. I said in my dream-like state and smiled. He threw me a cheeky wink which made me die inside, in a good way.

_I might pick him_

I then directed my attention to Tattoos, who ran his fingers through his curly brown hair which looked slightly ginger in the bright sunlight. He looked deep into my soul with an intense stare and came out with;

“You look like the kind of girl with a red aura.”

I raised an eyebrow and looked at him with a confused expression, to say I had no idea what he was on about.

He cleared his throat and tried to recover his terrible introduction. “I- I mean like, you seem like you’d be the type to fight anyone if they got in your way, you don’t hold back and you’d do anything to get what you want”

_That’s not necessarily true, he’s on the right track though_

“What’s your name babes?” I asked.

“Oh! Sorry, I forgot to introduce myself! I'm Rocco, I’m 21 and I’m from Belfast. I'm looking forward to making a connection with the beautiful ladies that we are going to share this experience with, especially you.”

_Aww I wanted him to be a Chris. Also he’s a bit young for me_

“I’m Veronica. As I already said.”

“Pleasure to meet you.” Rocco bowed slightly in front of me.

_Why so formal?_

Now it was Hercules’ turn to introduce himself.

“I’m Ibrahim. I’m 22 and I’m from Birmingham”

_I wanted his name to be Hercules_

“If I had to use a pickup line on a girl it would either be ‘Hey, you’re like winning all four major golf tournaments in one year… ‘cause you’re a grand slam!’ or ‘Here, let me tie your shoelaces ‘cause I don’t want you falling for anyone else.’.”

_Must be a sporty lad then. OMG I should’ve called him Sporty Spice. Nah… Hercules is better_

“Second one was way better, mate”. I winked at him and he smiled back at me.

_Not for me. Maybe in another universe though..._

“Thank you, m’lady.”

“Ooooh we’re getting into the soppy shit already are we?” I teased.

“Sorry”

“Babes, I’m pulling your leg. Don’t be sorry!” I laughed a bit too loudly and my laughter rang through the villa.

And now, for the dreaded moment absolutely none of us were waiting for...

I finished laughing and hesitated to turn my attention to the final man standing there, also known as Bobby, the ex love-of-my-life.

“Ah’m-”

_I already know who you are_

“-Bobby… Ah’m t-twenty seven years old and I’m from... Glescae.” He said, his voice was shaky and he kept shaking his head slightly

_Is it just me or has his accent gotten even thicker since I last saw him?_

“I um… hi Bobby.” I said quietly and began rubbing my hands together anxiously.

“A'm gaun tae huv a go a pickup line oan ye if that’s okay.”

_Oh here we go_

“Hae we met? Ye look a lot lik' mah next girlfriend!”

_More like **ex-** girlfriend _

I forced a laugh out that anyone would be able to tell was fake, but if I didn’t know him I’d be laughing, probably.

“It’s lovely to meet you.” I said through gritted teeth that were in a semi-permanent smile. It started to hurt my face a bit due to always fake smiling but I just tried to brush the pain away.

“It's great tae meet a bonny lassie lik' yersel' tae, ah can’t wait tae git tae ken ye better, Veronica.”

And then he saw the small _‘BMK’_ tattooed on my left temple that regretted getting as soon as the first tiny dot of ink was tattooed onto my skin.

“Whit’s ‘BMK’?” He asked with a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

_You. Bobby McKenzie_

“Uh... It stands for Beautiful, Moody and Kind, because that's what I am.”

Bobby’s smile fell from his face for a split second and his eyes shot to the ground before he forced his smile back into place.

_Oh no, I’ve just lied to him again_

My phone beeped in my hand and I opened the message.

 **Veronica** , **please choose a boy to couple up with.**

“I would like to couple up with this boy because he is the hottest thing I have ever laid my eyes on and I think we could potentially have something. And he’s also _gorgeous_. Did I already say that? I think I probably did but I just had to say it again.”

I scanned the line of boys once more and I had made my decision.

“The boy I would like to couple up with is…”

_Here we go, let’s just hope this goes well and no one else picks him_

“Noah.”

The other boys began to clap as I made my way over to Noah. I stood on my tippy toes and gave him a polite kiss on the cheek before standing next to him. He had the biggest smile on his face and I knew, I had made a good first impression.

“Thank you for choosing me, gorgeous.”

I couldn’t help but look over at Bobby who had a smile on his face but I could tell it wasn’t a genuine one. He was clapping along with the boys though.

As soon as the applause died down, Lottie burst through the door and chose to couple up with Rocco straight away. She didn’t even ask questions or anything. She also didn’t even know his name before coupling up with him.

_I’d at least get to know the boys a bit first_

“I think we chose well babe!” She said and gave me a thumbs up.

“Mhmm I think so too” Noah chimed in.

“Of course you’d say that, Noah.”

We looked back at the door and Marisol let out a high pitched squeal as she ran excitedly onto the lawn. “Look at you all in your cute couples!” She gushed.

She started to walk up and down the line of boys, studying them.

“Hmmm…. I’d like to get to know you better.” She said to Ibrahim which made him smile.

“And you.” She pointed lazily but full of energy at the same time, at Gary.

“Any of you fancy me?” She asked and Ibrahim took a step forward straight away.

“Bold and confident. I love it! What’s your name, handsome?”

“I’m Ibrahim.”

“Well Ibrahim, you’re with me.”

We all clapped as Marisol took her place beside her new partner. By the time the clapping died down, Hope had already emerged from the doorway.

Her eyes immediately fell on Noah and she smiled.

“Y’all look so cute in your couples!” She said but her expression changed immediately. She looked like she was in a trance for a second while staring at Noah.

_Can't blame her honestly, the dude’s handsome_

She put her hands on her hips and said “Now, I’m not saying this to be mean, but I’m here to meet the _right_ person. I may not be the first to the party but that doesn’t mean I’m going to get stuck with the leftovers!”

_If she picks Noah I swear…_

She walks right over to Noah and asks “What’s your name, babes?”

“It’s… it’s Noah.”

She elbowed me in the ribs and out of the way making me bump into Gary. 

“Sorry mate.” I whispered to him before whipping my head back around.

“Did you just push me?” I asked, with fury building up inside of me.

“No babes. It’s like what happened earlier when you-“

I squared up to her and covered her mouth with my hand. “If you say what happened I swear, I’ll make life in the villa a living hell for you.”

“B-but I just wanted to say _that_ so the boys could look out for you!” She said but her voice was muffled slightly by my hand. I took my hand off her mouth and took a step backward towards Noah

I rolled my eyes and lowered my voice to a hiss “My family are watching this. They have no idea what goes on in my life and I don’t want _anyone_ else ruining it even more.” I said and threw a somewhat concealed glare at Bobby.

“But I… Wait, I know what I’m going to do! Noah you’re the hottest thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on…”

_She wouldn’t dare_

“...and that’s why I want to couple up with you!”

“Hope that’s not cool! What about girl code?” Lottie shot her a look.

“What about it? I think fair’s fair”

“Come on! I had already picked him” I whined as my phone beeped.

**Veronica, Hope has selected your partner meaning you’re on the subs bench #MrsStealYourMan**

“Sooks tae be you, mate.” Bobby said.

“Que sera sera. Nothing I can do about it.”

I stepped away from Noah and stood off to the side, near Gary, since I wasn’t walking halfway across the lawn only to have to walk back over after Hannah had chosen.

I looked over to the door as Hannah came out looking pretty confident.

“Oh em gee! You boys are all so handsome.” She gushed.

_Please pick Bobby_

“I’m going to go straight in and ask if any of you fancy me.”

Gary took a step forward.

_No_

“You are fit, yeah. I just don’t know if I’d be your type”

“Babes, right now you’re my knight in shining armour!”

_Oh no_

I looked over at Bobby who rolled his eyes.

_I know. I want to roll mine too but I’m trying to become friends with the girls, so they don’t judge me **too** hard if my job comes up at all _

Gary looked a bit unsure as Hannah chose him. She skipped towards him and gave him a koala bear hug. That’s a bit much for the first day if you ask me.

_No_

_Oh god, please no_

_No no **n** **oooo**_

We all clapped for them. The couples were now; Hope and Noah, Lottie and Rocco, Hannah and Gary and Marisol and Ibrahim.

“Ah guess ye 'n' ah ur th' lonely hearts, Veronica. Come 'n' tae up wi' me. We kin support each other by writing tragic poetry aboot how nobody loves us!”

_Why did Hope and Hannah **have** to do that? _

I stood in the same spot for a few seconds while the others dispersed around the lawn in their couples.

I finally got enough courage to walk over to my doom. Bobby placed a hand on my shoulder and asked; “Ye okay? Ye look lik’ ye’v seen a ghost.”

“Bobby, it’s just I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“'N' ah ne'er thought I’d see ye 'ere, thought you’d be _married_ 'n' a' by noo.”

_Does he not know about the ring?_

“Well I mean, I’m single and on Love Island so I guess I’m not married, no.”

He clicked his tongue against the top of his mouth and said “So… listen, ah ken this isn’t ideal, bit it's whit it is. 'N' we can’t be at each other’s throats richt noo fur a' body wull stairt asking questions. Sae let’s keep it civil? Fur noo?”

I felt my heart rate accelerating into the 100’s as he spoke. I had not seen him in around a year now, and yet, it felt like I saw him yesterday...

“Uhm… sure? Ah just think we need to assess the situation that we’re in right now...”

“Aye ah think sae tae. Sae, we ur ex-boyfriend 'n' ex-girlfriend.”

“We are, yes.”

“‘N’ noo wur coupled up on Love Island…”

“...thanks to Hope.” I finished the sentence for him.

“Exactly.”

“So you don’t like being in a couple with your ‘ _Lass_ ’, eh?”

“Na, na, ah dae! It's juist a' a wee bit awkward due tae th' fact wur exes.”

“Please. Stop using that word hun.”

“Whit? Exes?”

“Yes Bobby, _exes_ ”

He began running around me in a circle, pumping his fists in the air and chanting; “Exes! Exes! Exes!” And that was irritating me quite a lot since he was being so childish.

“ _Shut up. People aren’t meant tae ken about this!_ ” I hissed but then realised I was meant to be keeping it civil. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have shouted at you.”

“It's a' guid. Wantae chat on th' bean-bags?”

“Sure, let’s have a nice, _chill_ sunbathe.”

He held out his hand for me to take but I didn’t know whether to take it or not. I chose not to and we walked in silence over to the beanbags.

He watched me as I sat down on a red beanbag and he sat next to me on a purple one, his favourite colour.

I broke the silence with “I know this isn’t a great situation, for both of us. But it is what it is like you said.”

“Agreed.”

“And I agree with you too. So... I’m going to propose that we keep it civil too.”

_Why did I use the word “Propose”?_

“Sounds guid tae me.” He said and smiled sadly at me. “I- I miss ye, Lass.”

_I miss you too, a little bit_

“That’s a bit much for the moment, no offence.”

“Some offence taken. Amen’t a allowed tae express mah feelin’s?”

“You are.” I said. “Of course you are! It’s just I feel it’s a bit _early_ , that’s all.”

“Ah guess...” He sighed.

“Come on. Let’s hug it out so everyone will think we’re getting along?”

“Um… sure?”

I held out my arms and we gave each other a quick, slightly uncomfortable hug. He patted me on the back twice, then he got out of the beanbag.

I felt a dip in his back and I don’t think that’s normal. Not normal for him, he never had that before. I questioned whether or not to ask him about it.

_I’ll ask in a minute_

He extended his arm fully to help me up and I reluctantly took his hand. I let go immediately after standing up and I felt… weird almost?

“Ah’m so sorry Lass. Fur everything.” He said and he sounded like he meant it.

_Sure you are_

I took a step closer to him and removed his hands from his face to see tears trickling down his cheeks which shattered my already fragile heart into tiny fragments.

“A’m sorry.” He said while choking on his tears.

“Hey…” I said while taking his hands in mine. His eyes didn’t meet mine, instead they focused straight ahead of him. I looked at his tear soaked, blotchy face and that made my heart break even more.

“Ah fucked up. Ah fucked oor... relationship up 'n' noo... noo you’re back 'ere 'n', 'n' i-i juist, ughhh.” He groaned.

“That’s your problem, not mine. And yeah, you did fuck it up by breaking up with me.”

“Ah _had_ tae.”

“Did you? Did you _really_ have to break up with me or are you just saying that to cover up something?”

“Na babe, ah did! Ah pure did! Ah wasn’t guid fur ye, or tae ye.”

“That doesn’t matter, Bobby. You broke my heart for god's sake!”

“A’m sorry…” He said quietly without looking at me.

_As if that’s an apology_

“Oh you’re _sorry_ are you? _Sorry_ for breaking my heart. _Sorry_ for everything bad you did when we were together? Wow. You’re sorry? I don’t believe that for a second. You know what? I shouldn’t care about _this_ anymore!”

There was an awkward silence for a few moments before he cleared his throat and asked; “Whin ye walk'd oot 'ere, whit went thro' yer heid whin ye saw me?”

“ _What do you think I did?_ I broke down in the bedroom because I saw you through the window and then you looked at the window and it felt like I got stabbed in the heart by your eyes!”

_I may as well have been stabbed in the heart since he got my arm the first time._

His eyes trailed from my face and down to my left arm. His hand reached out and his thumb began to stroke the area over the scar which made me flinch. “A’m sorry fur doing that tae.” He said.

_Yeah right_

He leaned in closer to me and brought his hand up to my face, tucking loose strands of my hair behind my ear.

“Bobby McKenzie.” He whispered while he kissed the tattoo on my temple. As soon as his lips made contact with my skin we both flinched and he pulled away.

_Is he actually serious right now? He had the **audacity** to kiss me_

“A’m so sorry Veronica. Ah shouldn’t have done tha’.”

_You’re right, you shouldn’t have kissed me_

I didn’t really know what to say then so I just stayed silent with a frown on my face, until I noticed a huge fresh scar across his back that I hadn’t seen before. I hadn’t looked at his back at all since being here.

“What’s the scar from, on your back?” I asked, with curiosity getting the better of me.

**Bobby**

_Why did she have to ask me that_

“Whit do ye work as, now?”

I tried changing the subject but that was no use. She began interrogating me on the scar I got from the crash that killed my cousin and it’s my fault.

**January 18th 2019, Glasgow, Scotland**

“Tak’ a left!” My cousin, Josh, ordered me.

“Which side is mah left?”

He pointed to my left but it was too late, we were on the wrong side of the road.

The headlights of the car coming towards us blinded me and I let go of the wheel, making the car drive off the road and into the other car. We collided with the other car and I was thrown out of my car, smashing the window. My right leg and back were in excruciating pain.

I landed on the road beside both cars making the pain even worse and I let out a piercing scream. I held onto my leg which was bent the wrong way and I saw blood streaming down my side. I tried twisting myself to see my back and I saw a huge shard of glass stuck in the skin.

I looked up at the car and saw Josh still in the car. He looked like he was passed out and the worst possible outcome of this is death but I hoped he wouldn’t have died.

I looked at the other car and the woman was slumped over the wheel. She did not look like she was alive.

I whipped out my phone and called 999.

“999 what’s your emergency?”

“A've juist bin in a car crash. Ah think mah cousin 'n' th' other woman ur deid!” I cried out.

“We’ll send an ambulance right away, whereabouts are you located?”

“A've nae git a scooby! A’min Glescae oan th' motorway.” I said, trying to calm myself down but that only made my state of shock even worse.

The other line cut off just as a car pulled up behind me. The door swung open and next thing I knew there was a stranger running towards me.

She looked like she was about to go on a date since she was wearing a golden formal dress that you wouldn’t wear everyday, which complimented her dark complexion well. Her styled, wavy, dark brown hair was flipped to one side, and she was wearing dark red lipstick.

“Oh my gosh are you okay?” She shrieked.

“Dae a look lik’ a’m okay?!”

“Let me call an ambulance! Has anyone called an ambulance!?” She asked loudly while fumbling with her handbag, trying to open it.

“I’ve awready called. Ah think th' woman 'n' mah cousin ur gone.” I said and my eyes filled with tears of pain.

My voice went higher in pitch as I cried and the woman crouched down next to me.

“Aren’t ye missing yer date?” I asked in a squeak.

“He can wait. Plus I think he’s going to break up with me anyway since his wife found out about us.”

_Wife?_

“He haes a wife?”

“Yeah…” she sighed.

“Ye shuid fin' a lad who doesn’t hae a wife, lassie.”

A siren wailed in the distance and I sighed in relief that they actually came. The blood loss made me pass out and I woke up in the hospital.

“Do you want us to call your mum? Or do you have a partner or…?”

“Ca' Toni noriega, please. She’s in Edinburgh richt noo, bit please tell her nae tae tell Veronica, mah burd, that ah’m here.” I said, panicked and worried that Veronica might find out where I was since I hadn't seen her since yesterday.

I looked around the room and my leg was held up by a sling. It was in an ankle fracture boot which was confusing since It felt like I broke my leg.

“Mr. McKenzie? You have a visitor.” The doctor said as he opened the door. Johnny followed him into the room with a notebook and a pen.

“Why dae ye hae a notebook ‘n’ a pen?”

“Why urr ye in hospital?” He asked sternly.

“Ah crashed my car”

“Ye _**whit?!** _” He screeched.

“A’m sorry mate.”

“A’m no’ yer mate. Ah’m yer faither.”

“Yer no’ my dad! Zayne is!” I said while raising my voice to a near shout.

He gave me the pen and notebook and said; “Write th' letter, please. Git it ower 'n' dane wi'. You’ll feel ten times better whin ye break up wi' _Veronica._ ”

_The breakup letter. How am I meant to do this?_

I began writing but crumpled up the first paper. In about ten minutes the bin was full of crumpled up pieces of paper. I rubbed my face over my hands and groaned in frustration.

_Focus. You need to get this written. How do I write it without breaking her heart? Oh who am I kidding? I’m breaking her heart no matter what way I break up with her._

When I finished writing the letter I gave the notebook and pen back to Johnny.

“Leave th' letter oan th' kitchen table wull you?” I asked as he was leaving

“Okay son. Juist ken this _wull_ break that annoying bitch’s heart”

“She isnae a bitch, Johnny. ‘N’ dinnae ca’ me your son!”

“She is.” He said and slammed the door on the way out.

  
  


**June 5th 2019, Present time, The Love Island Villa, Mallorca.**

I am so lucky to be alive.

“Ah dinnae waant tae talk aboot that richt noo lassie, ah juist waant tae…” As I was speaking I noticed the others getting back together in a group.

“What’s up?” She asked.

“Th' others ur gathering ‘round by th' pool, ah think we shuid join thaim. Ah don’t waant thaim tae git th' wrong idea aboot us.”

_Is he joking?_

“What do you mean by ‘Getting the wrong idea’?”

“I juist meant lik’, Ah don’t waant thaim thinking wur snogging th’ faces aff each other or something.”

_...and **why** exactly would we be doing that? _

“How are you doing right now?” I changed the subject.

“Oh… ye mean th’ lungs?” He winced as he held the place on his ribs where his lungs were .

“Yes, I do mean your lungs. Are you alright?”

**Veronica**

When I met him, I didn’t know what to expect. A week after we became official, he became very sick. I drove him to hospital one of the nights asking if everything was okay, but it really wasn’t.

He knew he was a heavy smoker, everyone did, but he didn’t think it was as bad as it was. He also hated talking about it and when people would ask him if he was okay, he’d avoid answering in any way. He was also truly so lucky to have survived.

A few weeks ago he was told he could leave the hospital, he was reunited with his family that week. None of them bothered to visit him while he was in hospital, half of them didn’t even know he was there in the first place.

The week he was allowed back home, I spent day and night looking after him, barely sleeping, cooking for him, doing everything for him for the next two months before I was thrown in the juvenile hall. 

I took on two jobs too. Stripping and sex work even though I told him a was a model, to get the money we needed for the hospital bills. I felt like I found the one, My rock, My soulmate, **_My Everything_ **. But the day after I got out of the hall, he went back to his old, violent ways. 

I was looking into the eyes of the man who stabbed me in the arm in November of 2015. The man who hit me multiple times every day, even when he was bed ridden.

Any chance he got he would hit me with belts, cut my skin with sharp knives, glass, anything he could get his hands on that would cause pain as he was very weak from the treatment and his fists weren’t strong enough to cause pain or so _he_ thought. 

I still feel like I’m covered in bruises like I used to be and I used the ‘Oh I burnt myself with the straightener’ excuse more times than I can count.

Even though he physically and emotionally abused me, I was so _madly in love_ with him. Love wouldn’t even describe what I felt towards him. I was more than “In Love” with him. I absolutely _adored_ him and I was _grateful_. Grateful that I had him.

I was so in love with him that I never actually stopped loving him. I used to love when there were days that he wouldn’t drink and take pills, days that he would _make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world_. Days when he wouldn’t hit me.

The whites of his eyes were distracting me as they were now yellow and that worried me, a lot.

He whispered “Ye ken ah still love ye, Lass,” in my ear which sent shivers down my spine.

“If you did, why did you break up with me?”

His mouth opened to speak but no words came out. And I knew he wasn’t going to answer.

“Let’s join the others?” I asked.

When we joined the others the atmosphere changed. It felt like there was some tension.

“Whit’s wit’ th’ tension?” Bobby asked.

_It’s like we share a brain… Oh how I wish we didn’t_

“I think it’s because Hope picked Noah just after Veronica did.” Hannah blurted our loudly and Gary gave her a nudge to shush her.

“It’s fine, honestly. I forgive you Hope and actually you did me a favour. I’m now coupled up with the most handsome man I have ever seen.” I said and gestured to Bobby, who actually _blushed_ profusely.

_I’m lying, mate, I’m not with who I want to be with_

“Aw Hun! I’m happy you’re not angry.” Hope gave me a smile which at first I didn’t think was genuine, but it was.

“Is that it? Are we done? With the recoupling, I mean” Noah asked.

“I think so mate, I wouldn’t worry too much about it.”

“Isn’t there supposed to be another girl? I only see five, we’re evenly matched.” I questioned and was _rudely_ left hanging in the air.

Marisol interrupted the silence. “Where are the frozen margaritas at?”

“Now were on the same page, babe!”

Ding!

“Another text, already?” Ibrahim asked as he checked his phone.

**Islanders, the first coupling is complete! We will throw in surprises and challenges along the way to try throw you off because in the house of love, you are advised to stay loyal. But, go crazy, do whatever your heart desires! This is a once in a lifetime experience. #50DaysOfLove #LoveIsland2019**

“Right, time fur a drink.” Bobby sighed happily as he spotted the bottle of champagne and ten glasses on the island in the middle of the lawn.

_Oh of course, he’s still drinking.  
_

_I wonder if he’s still abusing drugs too  
_

_And since he’s probably high that means he’s… **fucks sake** he better not be smoking again after the respiratory failure_

_And also I know there's something he’s not telling me about that scar._

_Life’s so fucked up sometimes isn’t it?_

“I’m going for a ciggie. Anyone want to join me?” Lottie asked.

_Do not say yes, Bobby_

“Sure, be thare in a minute?”

_Fucks sake mate, that’s what got you in hospital for years in the first place._

“No!” I unintentionally shouted which made Bobby stop in his tracks.

“Whit was that, Lass?”

“I- I um… Sorry”

“Oh!” He slapped his head with the palm of his hand. “Ahm no’ actually gaun tae, Lottie. _Sorry._ ”

“Neither was I. I just wanted to see if any of you were smokers. Because I can’t stand the smell or anything.”

_Bobby was-is-was, oh I don’t know_

_I just hope he stopped_

“Anyone want a drink?” Gary asked.

“Sure, I'll hae whit she’s havin’.” Bobby said and gestured to me. “Whit urr ye swallyin?” He asked with a smirk, and I was sent back to the night I met him for a split second.

“A glass of your finest scotch please, kind sir.” I said, trying to sound as posh as possible which made Bobby laugh a little.

“I don’t actually want anything, thank you.”

Gary and Bobby started to pour drinks for everyone else just as Rocco’s phone beeped.

"It's me! Guys I got a text!" He announced.

**Islanders it's time to play a game of truth or dare, head to the fire pit immediately. #BreakingTheIce**

"I hope it is not like the one the kids play." I winked at Bobby who nodded in agreement.

_Hopefully the girls forgot that I didn’t tell them what I work as so it won’t come up_

"Me neither". Bobby held my hands and gave them a little squeeze. I shook my hands from his grip and walked with him over to the fire pit.

Up first was Hope, she chose a card from the dare pile and read out “Give a foot massage to one of the other islanders”

“Wow! Getting right in there.”

Hannah gagged. “Ugh gross! I don’t think I could touch someone’s feet the day I met them. I’m definitely choosing truth when it’s my go.”

“Whit, 'n' miss oot on a' th' fin? sookin someone’s toes’ micht be in thare too!” Bobby laughed “Come on big man, git thaim piggies oot!”

“I’m so jealous of Hope right now, I’d love to run my hands all over you, Noah.”

He smiled at me which made my heart warm up.

“Veronica!”

“What? I’m just being honest.”

"Maybe Veronica should go next, and get some attention. From a different boy." Hope snapped.

“Be spontaneous, choose dare!” Rocco encouraged her

“No I think truth is a brave option”

“Boys stop! I can make my own decisions and I’m not following the rules of the game. Someone give me a truth out of their minds right now.”

_Please don’t say something about my job_

“Have you ever been in love?” Lottie asked

_Oh for god's sake that’s worse than asking what I work as. Since the girls will all be disgusted by me because I’m a fucking sex worker who does stripping on the side_

“Um…” I glanced at Bobby who wouldn’t meet my eyes. “Yes, I have”

“You’re gonna have to give us more than that, love.” Gary said.

_Absolutely not_

“I’ve answered the question though”

“Were you in a relationship with this person?”

“Yes I was. And like my family did not like him. _I had to protect him from my dad._ He wanted to kill the poor boy because he's Glaswegian but I loved him with everything I had so I wasn’t letting that happen. I was actually going to propose to him on the day he broke up with me.”

_And that’s the truth. I had a ring picked out and everything. In the blue velvet box..._

Those words looked like they shot a bullet into Bobby’s chest and he tried stopping his tears from falling down his face like waterfalls.

“Glaswegian?”

“You’re actually not worried that my dad _still_ wants to kill him? Wow, that takes some nerve Hope.”

“I didn’t mean-”

“All I’m saying is it’s cool. Lottie asked have I ever been in love and I said yes. Am I still in love with him now? I’m not sure but I hope to see him again in my future, as like, a mate or something...”

I glanced at Bobby who had a tiny smile playing on his lips though his eyes were filled with tears, and he didn’t directly look at me.

_Aww I kinda feel a bit bad for him now_

"Ok Gary, you're up!" 

I sat back down beside Bobby and he pulled me into a cuddle at his side, which should have felt nice but it didn’t.

This wasn’t like him. I never got cuddles off him… except the night I met him and now, the _second_ time I “ _met_ ” him.

Gary got a truth that said “Which couple do you think would be the loudest in bed?"

"What kind of questions are these?"

He looked around the group “Hmmm... I’m going to say… Bobby and Veronica!"

_Really, Mate?_

"You‘re nae wrong gaz, a've gotten a few complaints fae th' neighbours before." Bobby said with a smirk and winked at me.

_This bloke… if my blood boiled anymore I’d be on fire right now_

"Let's hear from Marisol."

She picked truth ”Would you hook up with someone of the same sex?”

"Of course, I date women and men, I actually get more nervous around girls to be honest."

“So it's nae juist me who gets nervous aroond lassies then.”

“No Bobs, it’s not.”

"Thank you for sharing, babes, I‘d say I’m pretty straight though.” I smiled.

"I pick Bobby." Marisol said.

"A'm gonnae go wi' a dare, ‘ _make oot wi' th' islander ye fancy th' maist ’_."

_Are you serious right now? Make out with?_

He stood up and circled around the firepit, eyeing us up.

"Um.. Ah dinnae ken whit tae dae, honestly. Lik’, Ah’ve juist _met_ all of you.”

“It _can_ just be a little peck if you’re uncomfortable Bobby.” Hannah said and gave him flirty eyes, which made me slightly annoyed.

Bobby turned to me. Me, of _all_ people here. He gave me a short, quick peck on the lips and when he pulled away I frowned at him.

_I know I’m annoyed at Hannah for flirting with him but still. It could have been on the cheek_

“Get a room, you two.” Hannah said, sardonically.

We all decided to just stop the challenge there and either sunbathe, go to the gym or gossip on the roof terrace.

I decided to sunbathe on the loungers. I was nearly asleep but a shadow cast over me.

"Hey gorgeous. Fancy a chat? I'm sure Bobby won't mind". Noah said while smiling as he sat down onto the lounger next to me.

"Sure, he’ll be looking for me though, to have a serious chat."

"Just thought I'd take my chance while I could. I thought there might have been a bit of chemistry building up between us in the game and I just wanted to know, am I the type you'd usually go for?"

"You’re my type. That’s why I picked you, but Hope stole you away from me."

"That's cool that I’m your type, Veronica. Really cool"

“Mhmm, yeah. Cool.”

_Why did I say it like that?_

He leant in towards my ear and whispered “I guess we’ll see how it goes...”

His breath burnt the skin on my earlobe and I melted, again.

"I got a text!" Marisol announced. “Gather ‘round, Islanders!”

I rolled off the daybed and Noah and I walked over to where everyone else was gathering, by the huge “ _LOVE_ ” sign hanging from the wall by the kitchen.

**Islanders, tonight there will be a welcome party. Get ready to greet a very special guest! #DrinksOnUs #DroppingTheBombshell**

"It’s time to _PAR-TAYYY_!" Hope cheered.

"Does that mean another girl is coming here?" Lottie frowned.

"Or it could be another guy..." Noah said, which made the boys exchange worried glances.

_Us girls should be the worried ones. The producers will probably send in an actual goddess and the boys will fall at her knees as soon as she gets here_

**A few minutes later**

**In the dressing room**

"I think it will be really nice to have another girl in the villa. More girls, more power right?" Hope smiled.

Lottie rolled her eyes "Oh please. If the situation was different, sure. But here, no. You know if a girl comes in she'll be the hottest person any of us have ever seen and she'll be out to get what she wants. And what if she wants Noah?"

I saw Hope’s face fall so I gave her a reassuring smile. “His head won’t turn.” I said sweetly.

_Oh it **will**. I’ll make his head spin so fast it’ll make him dizzy _

"It would be nice, yeah. But, I don’t want her to steal my man off me.” Marisol chimed in.

“Exactly. That’s what I mean babes”

“I hope she doesn’t have her eye on Gary!” Hannah exclaimed.

_She might. He **is** alright looking _

" _ **When are you lot coming down?!** _ It’s been ages!" We heard Rocco shout from downstairs.

_Right, showtime, let's go_

The girls and I strutted out onto the lawn to meet the boys who all looked even more handsome than earlier.

_How can they look even more hot than they did earlier?_

The boys began to talk about how they get girls and then Lottie and Hannah started doing pick up lines and Noah did the cheesy “ _Boyfriend Material_ ” one with Hope.

It was now my turn to try woo the boys.

_Here goes nothing._

"Hey Bobby, I know you like a bargain, so why not come back to my bed where clothing is 100% off?"

He blushed a dark crimson colour and was probably thinking about all the times he’s seen me naked in his own bed.

“Wait, I’ve got two more! Hey Noah, are you related to Jean-Claude? Because Van Damme you’re sexy!“

Everyone burst out laughing at how silly my line was.

At least they thought it was funny.

“Alright, alright, last one, this is the last one dinnae worry.” I said. “Ow!” I rubbed my chest where my heart was meant to be, but the past year I’ve been heartless. 

“Bobby!”

“Whit, Lass?”

“He’s a thief! A _**thief!**_ ”

“Oh a'm th' thief, am ah? you’re th' one who stole mah hert.”

_Ah here. I was going to say that_

“I was about to say that! You ruined it!!” I whined.

“It’s true though. You stole my heart the moment I lay my eyes on you.” He muttered into my ear.

_Aww, cute. But I’ll need more than that as an apology_

“Eek! Babe stop!” I laughed in an obvious fake way and gave him a hug, which was long but not long enough to come across as ‘Oh we were in _love’_. Because that can happen.

“Right Bobby, your turn.”

“Okay… 'ere goes. I’ll gie Veronica an amazing line sin' she’s lucky enough tae be coupled up wi' a' o' this.” He said while he started winding his body around like a snake and he gestured to himself with his hands making the others laugh.

_Oh lord, what’s he going to come up with now?_

“Veronica... Ye might fall fae th' sky. Ye might fall fae a tree. Bit th' best wey tae fall is…. tae fall in love wi' me!”

_Already did, mate_

I rolled my eyes and tried to hide the god forbidden smile that was forming on my face.

“Awww.” Marisol gushed. “You two are goals already!”

“Whatever.” I said and turned away from everyone.

“Ah’ll dae anither one! Kiss me if i’m wrong bit dinosaurs still exist, richt?” Bobby asked.

_They don’t exist anymore but I’m not kissing him_

And then Hannah had the _audacity_ to kiss him, in front of everyone. I shouldn’t be bothered by this, but I am. A lot.

“They don’t exist, Bobby. You’re wrong.” Hannah said and gave him a flirty smile before shooting a glare at _me_. Why me?

_That **bitch!** Why is she even flirting with him? She had **every** chance to pick him at the coupling up “ceremony” but chose Gary _

I felt my stomach drop as I heard the sound of heels clicking on the pavement. I turned back around to see the most beautiful woman strutting towards us.

The boys' eyes went wide with surprise and excitement.

“Oh my gosh.” The girls and I said in unison.

"It's another girl!"


	4. I Don’t Want You To See Nobody Else

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tonight a new arrival enters the villa! Will the islanders’ heads be turned?

**Veronica**

_No shit, Ibrahim. I would’ve never guessed it would be another girl_

The stunning woman sashayed towards us and flicked her slightly wavy, burgundy hair out of her face. She had light brown eyes and a figure that any girl would want.

"Hey boys, I'm Priya, I’m 26 and I’m from Manchester.” She said and blew a kiss to the boys.

_Meh, I’m better looking than her_

Ibrahim wolf whistled under his breath.

"Mate I know, but…." Noah glanced at me and gave me a friendly smile.

“But what?”

“Veronica is way fitter than her.” He said quietly so only Rahim could hear him. Or so he thought. I could hear him _crystal_ clearly.

_Oh Jesus... Does he know I can hear him?_

“Oh yeah, definitely.”

_Oh my days_

"Ah guess we're th’ welcoming committee." Bobby chirped.

"Come on, boys!" Gary shouted and the lads ran over to meet Priya.

"Look at those boys, all swarming around her. You'd think they haven't met five gorgeous women today, Veronica are you worried about Bobby?” Lottie asked. 

"I don't think Priya is his type. I think I know what he likes already."

"Really?”

_Well no, I’m not sure but I’ll keep his head turned my way_

“Priya will probably couple up with Ibrahim and leave me single!” Marisol whined from beside me.

"I'm going to go over and meet her. You girls want to come with me?”

"Nah, I'll stay here with Hannah." Lottie said.

"Okay, come over soon though, she might think you’re ignoring her"

Hope and Marisol and I strutted over to where Priya and the boys were and Noah threw another wink my way.

"Here they are!” Said Bobby as he waved us over.

"Were you lads trying to keep Priya all to yourself?". 

Hope immediately went in to hug the stunning bombshell who hugged her back warmly.

"How are you doing hun? I'm Hope, it's so good to meet you!"

_Yeah it’ll only be not good when she couples up with Noah_

"Priya Di Amore. It's good to meet you too."

_Di Amore? That name sounds **way** too familiar… Di Amore. Di Amore. Di Amore.. Oh **shit**. That’s Lathan’s surname. _

_Lathan Di Amore. One of my regulars at work…_

"Priya Di Amore? That’s such a gorgeous name! It's so lovely to meet you. I'm Veronica, by the way." I said and gave her a friendly hug that lasted not a second longer than the one I gave Bobby earlier.

"You’re so sweet! I'm so glad you girls aren't judging me for gatecrashing. All you girls are so beautiful, by the way."

_Aww she’s so sweet_

“I'm really looking forward to getting to know you better." Marisol said.

"Aye, we all are."

Priya smiled. "I try to be a pretty open person. What do you want to know?"

"What's your type?" Gary asked.

"I like cheeky and flirty guys..."

_Like Bobby…_

"Are them two coming over?" Priya pointed at Lottie and Hannah who were whispering to each other a few metres away from us.

“They're threatened by you, Priya.”

"Is it because I'm another girl?" She asked.

"And because you're beautiful"

“Whitevur, let's git thaim ower here.” Bobby rolled his eyes and called out. “ _Lottie! Hannah! Ye comin' ower or whit!?_ ”

Lottie and Hannah linked arms and sashayed towards us.

"I'm Lottie, what's your name babe?"

"I'm Priya."

"It's nice to meet you."

"And you."

Lottie’s expression immediately changed.

"Sorry love, but I don't like the idea of being in danger." She said and glared at Priya.

"Speaking of which, I guess it's time to ask the big question…. Who's caught your eye?". Marisol asked.

"I would say Ibrahim is my type straight away."

"So glad I asked." Marisol rolled her eyes.

"But Bobby has got gorgeous eyes too. And I'm not trying to tread on anyone's toes..."

"Just don’t go stealing him off me!" I forced a laugh out while saying this.

_I should probably pull Bobby for another chat later to clear the air more. I don’t want to go home yet_

"We should get you a drink. Honestly, boys! It's a party and no one has got Priya a glass of bubbly yet."

We all had a glass of champagne in the kitchen and chatted for a while.

Bobby approached me with two glasses of champagne. I took a glass off him and gave him a friendly smile over the rim of the glass just before I took a sip. The cold, almost acidic taste splashed across my tongue.

_Oh, I missed you, Alcohol_

“Geeza a word wi' ye?” He asked.

_Right on time_

I took his hand as that’s generally what couples do and we strolled over to the daybeds. He sat down first and patted the space next to him.

I sat down close to him, too close. I was basically sitting on his lap so I moved away. He stared at his hands which were laced together, and said; “So… how wis yer first day?”

_How **was** my first day? _

“It was… okay, I guess.”

“Mah favourite pairt wis th' pickup lines we a' said earlier.”

“And when Hannah kissed you?” I asked, in a slightly angered tone.

“No… ah didn’t lik’ that at a’.”

“Good.” I said, unintentionally.

He looked up at me and raised his eyebrows. “You… you didn’t lik’ whin Hannah kissed me, did ye?” He asked.

_I hated it_

“Not really, no.” I said.

His hand inched closer to mine and his fingers curled around my own. I wanted to move my hand away but I couldn’t, his eyes were hypnotising me and I didn’t even know it.

“Awh, is someone _jealous_?” He teased.

I shot him a glare but that quickly turned into a smile.

_What is he doing to me?_

I’ll never forgive myself for this but I edged closer to him and he slung an arm over my shoulders, pulling me close.

“I missed this, Lass.”

I cocked my head to look up at him and saw two pools of molten gold staring back at me. Bobby smiled at me, showing his dimples that I loved.

I realised what I was doing and pushed him away from me.

“Woah, what’s wrong?” He asked.

“I’m sorry. I just can’t. I need to go, I’m so sorry.” I said and was about to run off but his hands reached out and grabbed my wrists tightly.

_Oh no. Please don’t hurt me_

I was flashed back to the night, lying on the floor in the dark room in the club.

“Let go of me, Bobby!”

“Stay with me.”

“Let go!”

“Ah wull if ye stay ‘ere.”

He spun me around to face him and coiled an arm around my waist, stopping me from getting away. 

He held me tightly against him and I felt little water droplets fall onto my shoulder. I looked up and his face was fixed into a smile, but he was crying. And it was all my fault.

I really didn’t want to but I hugged him back, and as I did he hugged me tighter, lifting me off the ground.

He pulled his face away from my shoulder and sniffled a bit.

“Is everything okay?” I asked.

“Na, it's no’. ‘Cause ah fucked up whit we hud 'n' noo ah kin ne'er hae ye again.” He cried.

I rewrapped my arms around him at his neck and pulled his head to my shoulder again. He began to sob violently, shanking both our bodies. Bobby put me down but held me even tighter to him.

_I can’t breathe but I don’t care_

“Ah miss ye so so much, Lass.”

“I… I miss you too Bobby.” I said quietly.

_I actually do, kind of_

“Miss me enough tae kiss me?” He half joked as he wiped his glistening eyes.

“Not right now. Everything’s still sinking in.”

“Ah ken, i’m juist messing wi' ye!”

_Were you though?_

A text chimed from Bobby’s phone but he didn’t let me read it. He nodded and turned the phone around to show me what it said.

**I dare you to kiss the person in front of you**

_He definitely got one of the boys to send him that. Also he literally just said he was joking about kissing me. That’s a bit suspicious..._

“Ah guess ah juist hae tae kiss ye, again.” He said with a half-concealed grin on his face.

_He thinks he’s sooo slick, but no_

“Really? You’ll have to earn it first.”

He raised one of his eyebrows and asked “What dae ah hae tae do?”

_Get on your knees and beg me for forgiveness_

“You need to treat me like a princess to show me you _have_ actually changed. And yes, that does include your head not turning for anyone. That includes Cardi B.”

“But... But ah love Cardi!”

“That’s not a good start, McKenzie.”

“If Cardi B cam' in, mah heid wouldn’t turn.”

_Sure, Bobby. Sure_

“Good. I want your eyes on me, _and only me_.” I said and ran my nails up his arms to his shoulders and I stood an inch away from him, with the electricity building up between us.

He swallowed hard and said “O' course, you’re mah priority richt now,” back to me.

_I don’t believe him at all_

He sat down on the daybed and I sat next to him.

“Do ah git mah winch now?” He asked and gave me puppy eyes.

“Your what?” I asked.

“Mah winch. Mah kiss, ah mean.”

“Hmmm…. how about no.”

“ _Pleeease_.”

I shook my head.

He got down on his knees in front of me and pouted.

“Pouting isn’t gonna do anything, McKenzie.”

He frowned and then stood up, in between my legs. He leaned over so his face was at least an inch away from mine and let his hands rest on my waist.

“Pleeeeeease?” He begged.

_Do I really want to kiss him?_

I nodded but I was still unsure. 

He pressed his lips against mine but I felt nothing. He kissed me again, harder this time, but nothing happened. No sparks.

“Is that seriously how you kiss someone? You used to be way better than that.”

He said nothing and kissed me again, holding it for longer. He dug his fingernails lightly into my hips and then he straddled me.

I kissed him back this time and brought his body closer to mine, with my arms slung around him like a safety belt on a plane.

I didn’t sense any chemistry between us anymore, which disappointed me, a lot. He seemed to really go for it though.

I wanted to stop kissing him, but I couldn’t. Something about him intoxicated me, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.There was the faint taste of champagne lingering on his lips from the glass he had a while ago.

He gently pushed me onto my back and leaned over me to place one last kiss on the side of my mouth.

“I missed ye so much.” He said quietly.

I rolled my eyes but something from the most hidden depths of my subconscious rose to the surface in the form of a smile before I could stop it.

“Awh look at that smile.” He gushed and hugged me tighter.

_What the hell am I doing?_

“Stop!” I laughed and squirmed, trying to get out of his tight embrace.

“Ah’m sorry fur whit ah did, lassie. ‘N’ i’ll dae anythin' fur ye tae forgive me.”

_That took a turn_

I considered his offer for a moment before agreeing.

“ _Anything?_ ” I asked.

“Anything.”

_Red velvet cupcakes?_

I pretended to think for a few seconds and then I said, “Do you still bake?”

His face lit up and he said “

“Aye! Aye, ah dae! ah kin bake ye anythin' ye waant!”

“Red velvet cupcakes?”

He beamed and placed another kiss on my cheek. “Ah love making red velvet cupcakes! They’re mah _favourite_.”

“They’re my favourite too.”

He opened his arms and I was set free from his embrace.

“ _ **Guys, I got a text!**_ ” We heard from a distance.

“Whit now?” Bobby groaned.

“I was thinking the same thing, hun.”

“Great minds think alike!”

I re-entered his embrace and we locked fingers. Then we made our way into the bedroom, because that’s a thing couples do. Hold hands and cuddle.

Everyone was sprawled out on their assigned beds and Priya stood in the middle of the room.

“Where were you two?” Lottie asked curiously.

“Juist chatting.” Bobby said, quite quickly.

“ _Hmmm, sure_.”

Priya cleared her throat so all attention would be on her.

“Is everyone here? Yeah, ok good”

**Priya, tomorrow you will get to choose one of the boys to couple up with, leaving one of the girls single and vulnerable #AChallengerAppears #GirlCode**

_I hope his head doesn’t turn_

"I knew it!" I huffed and tightened my grip on Bobby’s waist.

"Interesting…"

"Looks like its competition time, Ladies"

"And may the best woman win." Priya said.

**Morning**

"Hey, Veronica! Take a seat!" Priya said and gestured to me to sit next to her. I smiled but I sat down next to Bobby and he wrapped his arms around me.

I snuggled into his side and he kissed me gently on the top of my nose.

_I can’t believe this! Like seriously I don't want Priya to go picking Bobby. Like I swear if I go home because of this I’ll be mad._

I was snapped back into conversation when Bobby nudged my side softly, trying not to disturb my thoughts, but he did.

"So Priya, how are you going to pick? Are you going off looks or…." Lottie asked.

"I really don't know, maybe someone I could have a _spark_ with"

I then caught Priya wink at Bobby.

"I saw that, Priya." I hissed.

"Saw what?"

“You just winked at Bobby.”

“Did I? Oh well, I mean he _is_ so hot and I’d love to get to know him better.”

_How dare she_

I frowned, but Bobby reassured me by pulling me even closer to him and he kissed me on the cheek.

"Do you believe in vibes, Priya?" Rocco asked.

"Like Vibrators?"

"No no, like positive vibes!!" He laughed.

"IT'S SUCH A GOOD VIBRATION! IT'S SUCH A _SWE-EEE-EET_ SENSATION!" Bobby started to sing and pump his fists in the air.

_Oh my god_

"I'm never gonna be able to hear that song the same again." Ibrahim laughed.

"Me neither!"

"Making good memories in the Villa already, Mr. June" Gary raised an eyebrow

"Don't call me that!"

"Can we call you; 'Ibrahim the dream'?"

_Can we call you Hercules like I did yesterday?_

"My friends back home call me Rahim."

"Can I be your friend, Rahim?" Priya asked.

"Hell no!"

An awkward silence filled the air.

"That came across wrong, sorry. With a beautiful lady like yourself, I'd wish to be more than friends"

"Oh... I see." Priya winked at him and then she started asking about Bobby doing it in the kitchen. He revealed he was a fan of it and that gave me an idea.

**A few minutes later**

Priya started asking about Hope and Noah.

"I think it's too early in the game to be as attached as them two are"

"Have to agree with Veronica on this one" Gary nodded

“Says you, Veronica. We all saw your cheeky snog with Bobby last night on the day bed.” Rocco teased which made Bobby blush. I felt my cheeks getting hotter so I tried to cover my face with my hands and my hair.

"Do you think I have a chance to get between Hope and Noah?" Priya asked.

"Unlikely, they're really going for the 'power couple' vibe already" Ibrahim rolled his eyes.

Priya then turned to look at Bobby and I. “How are you two after last night"

_What do I say? What do I say? What do I say?_

“I think wur getting on well enough. Richt, lass?”

“Of course babe, and Priya, dinnae get any ideas on how you could try to steal him away from me. We’re solid.”

And that made Bobby beam.

“I think I know what that means!!" Priya said and winked at Bobby, again.

I looked over at Lottie who rolled her eyes and glanced at Priya. I nodded and Lottie stood up to make a grand speech.

"Hey, Priya. Maybe next time you should flirt with Bobby when Veronica isn't here, wait no, don't flirt with him at all! I'm gonna go find Hope and Hannah and have a strategy chat. Coming Veronica?"

"I wantae hae a chat wi' her too."

“I will in a minute you two, I’m not done here!” I stretched out on the edge of the pool and continued my ‘conversation’ with Priya.

"Anyways, how do you like, _really_ feel about being in a couple with Bobby?"

"Well after last night, I feel more attracted to him than I did yesterday morning." I blew a kiss to Bobby who caught it and beamed, letting his cute dimples show.

Priya rested her head in her hands and sighed "No matter what I do, someone will be upset."

"You could just go home as fast as you came in.”

"No, I'm in this for the long haul"

_I swear this girl is getting on my nerves_

“Ok, I’m having that chat with Lottie now, bye!”

I got up and walked up the stairs to the terrace. The girls were in there talking about tarot cards.

"Hey, can ye stop talking about whatever that is and just get to the point already?"

"Oh I'm sorry Veronica, but who made you queen and let you boss everyone around?"

"Bobby is waiting for me!"

The girls talked about Priya for a while and then started talking about soul mates. Hope then screamed at me because I allegedly ‘told Priya to pick Noah’ according to Marisol who wasn’t even there.

"Good talk everyone!" 

We all dispersed on the lawn into our couples again to talk about Priya.

I walked up to the daybeds where Bobby was sitting.

"Hey Veronica!". Noah caught up with me. "Have you got time for a chat, I'm sure Bobby won’t mind"

“Sure mate, roof terrace?”

“Of course! I would carry you if it was just us but it would be a bit… um… I think it would be a bit snakey if I were to carry you since you’re with Bobby and I’m with Hope. Also I don’t want to drop and hurt you”

“So... Hope. How do you feel about her?” I asked as Noah sat with me on the couch, on the terrace

“I do like her yeah, but…” he grinned “There’s something about her that makes me feel a bit iffy.”

“So, what did you want to chat to me about?” I asked.

“I know you’ve got your eye on Bobby but, do you think something could happen between us?” He asked and took my hands in his.

“Maybe.” I whispered.

“I wish Hope didn’t pick me after you did on day one.”

“Well we all have to fight for what we want right? That’s what my PT always says to me when I slack off in the gym.”

“You work out?” He asked.

_Nope, the pole does most of it for me_

“Aye, Ah do, now shhh.” I pressed a finger to his soft lips and I felt him shudder under my touch.

A few strands of my hair fell over my face slightly and Noah chuckled as he brushed it back behind my ear gently with his fingers.

“I also wish Hope didnae pick you on day one” I whispered which made him break out into a huge grin.

He pulled my into a hug and I rested my head on his chest, listening to his thumping heartbeat

“Veronica?”

“Hmm?”

“Would it be okay if I picked you at the next recoupling?” He asked.

“If you want to, now I need to have a chat with Bee. See you later”

I felt him watch me walk away so I started to sway my hips slightly and tried to drive him crazy.

I ran down the stairs and made my way over to the daybeds quickly where Bobby was dozing off. He woke up when I shielded him from the sun with my body.

"I was starting to worry ye weren't coming over."

"Of course I'd come over here."

"Thought you did a great job handling Priya and Lottie back there. I was worried you'd be focused on playing your options." he sighed.

"Is this what you wanted to tell me?"

"No. You’ve changed your tune about us since yesterday.”

“I have. And you wanna know why?”

“Why?”

I turned off the microphones and climbed on top of him so I was sitting on his stomach, but not all of my weight was on top of him. I leant down towards his ear and I was about to whisper something to him but my phone beeped, interrupting me. 

“ _I got a text!_ ” I announced loudly so everyone could hear me.

**Islanders, it's time to play spin the bottle. Please head to the challenge station**

_Why spin the bottle?_

We ran in “slow motion” towards the challenge station and took our places around the huge bottle in the middle of the platform.

“Let’s get this party started!” 

Priya walked up to the bottle and held onto the neck of it with both hands.

“Guess she’s going first then.” Lottie muttered from beside me.

“Someone had to, but I’d rather it be me.” I said back to her.

Priya pushed the bottle with little force as she calculated how hard she’d have to push so get it to land on… Noah.

Hope was the other side of me, I held her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. She smiled at me and gently squeezed back.

By the time we looked back the kiss had finished, Noah had a big grin on his face which I could tell irritated Hope.

“I’m sure it won’t come to anything hun.” I whispered to Hope.

It was now my go.

I used all of the strength I had to push the bottle. It spun around and around and finally it landed on Bobby.

_Oh, well I guess I have to kiss him again._

“Come here hun.” I said and gestured for him to come closer.

The kiss was quick but this time, I actually felt something. And I think he did too.

As we kissed I felt a burst of energy rush to my lips, I felt them tingle a little and we both pulled away.

“Was that a spark?” He asked quietly.

“It could have been, I’m not sure though..”

We both took our places back in the circle as everyone started to tease us and call us the “Lovebirds”.

Gary spun the bottle around and much to no one’s surprise it landed on Lottie.

_Oh he definitely fancies her_

They kissed for a short moment before blushing as they walked back to their places.

Ibrahim spun the bottle and it landed on...

Me.

_Oh wow_

He came towards me and placed his left hand on the small of my back as he leant forward and kissed me softly, like there was some meaning to it.

As soon as our lips touched he had the biggest smile on his face I’ve seen so far.

_Does he… like me?_

_He probably doesn’t._

Before Rahim could even get back to his place, Hope had spun the bottle but to her annoyance it landed on Bobby.

_Ugh seriously?_

Hope kissed Bobby on the cheek and smiled at me.

_Thank **God** she didn’t kiss him _

Rocco spun Marisol and they began to snog the faces off each other.

“I can’t believe it.” Lottie hissed from beside me. I grabbed her hand and squeezed it reassuringly, just like I did with Hope.

Bobby was next to spin the bottle, he looked slightly nervous as he pushed it.

_Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!_

And then it landed on Priya, of _all_ people.

_Nooo_

Priya pulled him towards her and I definitely saw her tongue slip into his mouth which I was not happy about.

“Babes chill.” I heard from both sides of me.

_How am I meant to chill when… oh god. Do I actually like him now? I do. I do like him. Oh nooo_

“Oi Priya! Mind not shoving your tongue down my man’s throat.”

She turned around and winked at me.

“Sorry hun, it’s in the name of the game. You _spin the bottle_ and snog whoever it lands on.”

“That’s not always true. You could have been respectful and done what Hope did.” Noah chimed in.

_Exactly_

I was about to square up to Priya, when I felt two hands grip my wrists from stopping me. I flinched and the memory washed back into my brain.

I shook both hands off me violently and ran away from everyone, tears began to fill my eyes and I tried wiping them away as I ran.

I sat down on the pavement near the entrance of the villa and curled up into a ball.

_Why?_

_Why did this have to happen to me?_

All I could hear were the sounds of birds singing happily and the crickets chirping. It was so peaceful until I heard someone running towards me.

They started to pant loudly and I looked up.

It was Gary.

“Are you alright, love?” He asked and sat down next to me.

“I’m okay. Sorry I stormed off.”

“Hey… it’s okay.” He said and pulled me in for a hug.

“It’s really not though. Nothing in my life is!”

“Do you want to… talk about it?”

_Do I trust Gary enough to tell him_

“Promise you won’t tell anyone? Especially Bobby.”

I held out my pinky finger and he took it.

“I promise.”

“I think I can trust you Gary. You look like a guy with a heart of gold so I’m going to tell you.”

I took a deep breath.

"I was… taken a-ad...vantage of at work last year. It wasn’t anything… really bad but-"

_Yes it was_

"Oh god, I'm so sorry love. You know I’m always here to talk if you need me. And I’m happy that you trust me with this. I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me to”

“Thank you, Gary.”

We heard the sound of nine pairs of footsteps coming towards us. We turned around and it was everyone else.

Bobby ran up to me and barrelled me in a hug, while kissing my forehead. “Are ye okay, Lass?” He asked.

_No…_

I responded by squeezing him tighter, and he squeezed me tighter too.

I rested my head on his chest and listened to his heart beat a few times before my phone beeped.

 **Islanders, head to the firepit immediately. Priya will make her decision about who she wants to couple up with. The girl who ends up single will be at risk from getting dumped from the island** **#SwitchItUp**

“Oh god, here we go.”

The others began to walk into the villa but Bobby held me back from entering.

“What’s the matter?” He asked and began to stroke my hair with his fingers.

“Nothing… everything’s okay. Especially since you’re here.” I said and gave him an unconvincing smile.

“I don’t believe ye, Lass, bit I’ll git it oot o' ye someday. Let’s git tae th' fire pit.”

He held out his hand and I took it as he opened the door.

We headed up to the firepit and sat down with the other couples, while Priya stood in front of us.

Hope and Noah were clutching each other tightly.

_They don’t need to even do that. Priya has showed **no** interest in Noah at all except during the challenge _

Lottie was staring daggers at Priya while she was wrapped up in Rocco’s arms.

_Mate, chill_

Marisol and Ibrahim looked cool as cucumbers, they showed no interest in each other since coupling up yesterday. 

And Hannah looked terrified while Gary looked very calm.

“I don’t really want to be making this decision solely because I get on with most, if not _all_ the girls here…”

_If she picks Bobby I swear..._

“... and I have to choose a boy to couple up with at the end of the day. I like pretty much all of the boys here, especially this boy. I feel like we could _really have something_. And as for his current situation, I’m kind of doing him a favour by saving him from his ‘ _relationship_ ’.”

_Wow, sucks to be this man’s girl_

“So the boy I would like to couple up with this afternoon is…”


	5. I Can Barely Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Priya chooses a boy to couple up with and something happens in the kitchen...

“Bobby.” She said and my body tensed up in his arms.

_You WHAT?!_

Everyone's eyes were now on me.

_Why are you all looking at me? Look at Priya!_

“Are you serious right now?! I knew you had your eye on him! Why didn’t you just tell everyone the truth rather than snaking behind people’s backs, and _then_ making it seem like a hard decision?”

“It _was_ a hard decision!” She shot back.

“Could’ve had a chat with me about it first, hun.”

“I did have a chat with you. I chatted to everyone. You’re being really unfair, Veronica.”

“I’m not the one who was being unfair, Priya.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I literally saw you with my own two eyes, _flirting_ with him earlier!”

Bobby stepped in between Priya and I and she backed down. Priya took his hand and dragged him away from us.

_Why is she like, actually dragging him away? Does she really want him in her pants that quickly?_

_At least I stood my ground. Sort of..._

I sniffed quite intensely which hurt my nose a little bit and ran off towards the dressing room.

_I could be going home now, and I've only been here, like, one day_

_I don’t want to go home yet_

**In the dressing room**

The girls entered and upon arrival they swarmed me with hugs and comforting words. Everyone was here except for the boys and Priya, which worried me because God only knows what she’s doing out there with them.

_I can’t believe it. I can not believe she would do that. Now I understand why Lottie was so mad yesterday_

Hannah lowered her mascara wand and broke the silence with "Talk about a plot twist! I was, like, so sure Priya would go for Gary!"

 _Why would she?_ _He’s totally NOT her type. He’s better suited with Lottie, no offence_

"She shouldn't have gone for anyone as far as I'm concerned"

Hope stopped looking at herself in the mirror for a second and argued; "That's not how it works babe, she had to choose _someone_."

"Yeah, we’re all sunshine and rainbows as long as nobody is taking Noah, right Hope?" Lottie sneered.

Before Hope could respond, Hannah cut in "Surely what matters right now is how Veronica feels, right?"

"Lottie's totally right!” I said.

“Well I mean I’m _always_ right.”

I rolled my eyes, as did the girls.

“Back to what I was saying... Priya knew what she was doing. We were meant to be mates, but she stole my man anyway. And that's totally a betrayal of girl code!! I could get dumped because of her... But it is what it is at the end of the day.”

"Gotta say, I'm a bit disappointed in you. You were so _mature_ about it earlier. To Priya's face anyway…." Hope gave me a glare.

"Coming from you, Hope. You were _SO_ mature during truth or dare."

She scowled and said “Ughh, I'm leaving.” Then she marched out of the room, probably expecting us to follow her.

"Don't let the door hit you on the way out!" I called out.

"Veronica. Calm down hun. Hope's trying to get in your head, don't let her." 

Marisol placed a hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze. I shook her hand off me and stormed out of the room.

**On the lawn**

Noah was standing alone on the lawn, I watched his graceful hands take his phone out of his pocket and his face was lit up by the screen. His facial expression was calm, which was the complete opposite of how I was feeling at that moment.

 _How can someone be so calm all the time?_ I asked myself as I approached him.

I managed to take two steps closer to him before he looked up at me and the corners of his mouth lifted of their own accord into a warm smile, so his perfect teeth were now visible.

“Veronica.” He gave me a slow, up nod and that’s all it took for me to fall under his spell.

“Hey handsome, caught you alone I see.”

“Yeah I have no idea where Hope is.”

“Want me to help you look for her?” I asked.

He shook his head. “No, no. She’ll be out soon.”

I took a shaky step closer as I was getting a bit nervous and looked up at him beneath my lashes. “Will she though?”

_Why am I so nervous?_

“I hope not. Right now.”

_What’s that supposed to mean. He’s changed his tune_

“Why not?”

His large hands took a gentle, but firm hold of mine and my heart rate shot up into the hundreds.

I could see his chest rising and falling rapidly through his tight shirt so I knew he was nervous for what he was about to do.

“Because... uh...”

_I wonder what he’s going to say..._

He let go of my left hand and brought his right hand up to my face and cupped my chin with his fingers. He began to stroke my cheek but I could feel his thumb shaking slightly. 

We were mere centimetres apart at this point and I could feel his warm breath against my skin. He dropped my other hand and coiled his arm around my waist, resting his hand on the small of my back.

My heart rate shot up even further and if it were to beat any faster it would rip through my chest. He tilted his head slightly and brought mine closer to his with his finger. 

I closed the space between us by pressing my body against his. His lips pressed against mine but he pulled back quickly.

The kiss felt much more different to the ones I have had with Bobby. It felt new, and fresh. It felt like a new experience and I definitely wanted to do it again. Something about him drew me in but I couldn’t put my finger on what it was.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” He muttered.

“It’s okay. I enjoyed it.”

“You did?” He asked.

“Yes, of course I did!”

He swallowed hard and his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down before he leaned in and kissed me again.

_What are Bobby and Hope going to think of this?_

_I don’t actually want to know what they’ll think_

I felt scared, almost. Scared of the consequences of my actions and scared for what Bobby would do to me if he found out.

I drew out the next kiss but noticed something out of the corner of my eye. It was Hope and Bobby laughing and chatting in the kitchen.

“Shit.” I whispered and pushed Noah away from me, causing him to stumble backwards.

_Please god, I hope they didn’t see that_

“Sorry… I...”

“Hey it’s okay Vee. I saw them too.” He said.

I walked away from him a moment later and headed into the kitchen with my heart thumping loudly in my chest. Bobby had already left at this stage so it was just Hope and I there.

“I saw you kiss Noah.” Hope raged as I entered the kitchen.

”No! That is  _ not _ what happened!”

She whipped her head around and turned her whole body to face me.

Her stance was rigid and her fists were balled. I flinched as I heard a door slam in the distance.

_ Bobby? _ I thought to myself as Hope squared up to me.

My eyes followed her raised finger as she pointed it towards me.

“I can't believe you! I actually cannot believe my  _ best friend  _ would kiss the guy I'm with! Total betrayal of girl code…!”

The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end as I heard the sound of someone storming into the kitchen.

I turned around and saw Bobby looking frustrated by something. He didn't meet my stare, but who could blame him? I just cheated on him.

”What's all this shouting for?” He hissed.

”Veronica kissed Noah and-”

The veins on his forehead popped out and his face reddened. He rushed up to me and backed me against the fridge.

”You  **_what?!_ ** ” He growled.

“Don’t listen to her. She’s getting in your head! I didn’t kiss anyone except you!” I lied.

Bobby turned towards Hope and asked; “Is she telling me the truth?”

_ Why are you asking  _ **_her_ ** _? _

“Nope. Saw it happen with my own two eyes.” She said while gritting her teeth together.

_You don’t know what he is capable of doing to somebody, so just shut your mouth and be quie_ _t_

She then stormed out of the room in a fit of rage, but who could blame her?

“You _kissed_ him?!” He asked in disbelief. “I… I’m actually speechless! I thought you liked me!”

“I  _ do  _ like you, babe!”

“Aye, ye lik’ me. As if I believe that! You just basically cheated on me! Do you not know how that makes me feel?!” He asked as he slammed his fist on the countertop.

The slightest of things got him riled up so I had to be careful about what I said.

“Bobby...” I sniffled. “Please calm down.”

But that didn’t go as planned, unfortunately.

“How can I calm down when I’m just after finding out you fancy Noah?!”

I should have known by now how even the tiny things send him off the rails.

“Baby,  _ please _ . Calm down.”

He took a step closer to me and his expression darkened further. Pure anger bubbled in his irides and I could no longer see the playful, loving side of him.

I could tell that he had bottled up all of his emotions since the breakup because I haven’t seen him this angry since I flushed his drugs away.

His breath brushed softly against my skin as he was now barely an inch away from me.

I watched as his hands traveled to the waistband of his jeans, his fingers swiftly undoing his belt.

He whipped it off, making it slap against my leg. On the verge of pain, I looked into his eyes. Which was a  _ terrible  _ idea.

His eyes followed the movement of his makeshift whip, his eyebrows raising slightly out of their frown.

Next thing I knew, the belt flew across the room and landed on the astroturf. Bobby looked back at me and began cracking his knuckles loudly.

_ Uh oh _

_ Run! _

My eyes widened and I shifted them to the right. I saw Gary alone on one of the daybeds, throwing a ball up and down.

_ Gary _

_ Help me _

I should have been paying attention to what Bobby was doing as his fist knocked the air out of my lungs when it made contact with my stomach.

He began hissing horrible things into my ear that he didn’t mean. Well, I  _ hoped  _ that he didn’t mean those things.

The worst thing he said to me in that moment was calling me a “waste of space”.

_ This hurts so much! _

Even though it hurt like hell, I had gotten used to this during the relationship. I had gotten so used to it that I ended up not minding it.

I became a sucker for pain. It just felt so good but at the same time, it was killing me. 

“You’re a fucking slut, you know that right?!” He hissed. “I can’t believe you kissed him! Why would you do that?! Do you not know how angry that makes me feel?!”

I looked down at his clenched fists and I gulped, hard, knowing I had fucked up big time.

He raised his hands to my face and clenched his fingers around my neck, digging his nails onto my skin.

“Don’t you dare make a sound? You have to listen to me right now and do what I say. Stay away from Noah. Under no circumstances should you go near him, talk to him, or even think about him. Because if you do, I will get very angry.” He hissed as I gasped for air.

“You’re not  _ worth it  _ anyway.”

_ He **knows** he’s on live television, right? _

“B-bobby! S…s…stop! P-please!” I tried to scream but those words barely came out.

_ Gary _ …

“ **Help me!** ” I tried to scream, and thank heavens it came out clear.

“I told you to shut your pretty little mouth!” Bobby growled as he tightened his grip  _ even _ more.

Gary jumped off the bed in shock and ran towards the kitchen.

“Woah! What's going on here?”

Bobby let go of my neck and I collapsed onto the cold tiles of the kitchen floor in a heap of emotions. I clung onto my neck as I gasped for some air and began choking on any that entered my lungs.

The room began to spin and the last thing I saw was Gary pulling the monster away from me.

I noticed the lights in the villa dim, and all I could hear was the sound of the ocean. But not the sound of waves crashing against a cliff, it was the kind of noise you’d hear of you dove in from a peer, or if you were scuba diving.

The next thing I heard was a loud ringing in my ears as two staff members rushed towards me with a breathing mask and something else but I couldn’t make out what it was.

“Veronica? Veronica, can you hear me?” I heard through the crashing waves in my mind.

The mask was placed firmly on my face and strapped around my ears. I then floated up into a pair of strong arms.

_ Is this the end? Is this how I go? Oh no. Dad, I do not love you and you do not love me, but I hope you have the decency to attend my funeral _

————————————————

  
I woke up with a blurry figure bent down looking at me as I opened my eyes. I felt a vicious thumping in my head and my ears were still ringing.

“Veronica.”

“Veronica!”

“VERONICA!” I heard a voice from in front of me.

I rubbed my eyes and saw Lottie beside me, looking very concerned.

“How are you feeling?” She asked as I felt something freezing cold make contact with the black and blue bruised skin on my neck.

“Wh...where’s Bee?” I asked, hoping he would be kept well away from me for what happened- what I can remember happening this evening.

“He’s been kept in the beach hut until we are sure you can breathe properly again, with Gary and Ibrahim. Girl, we are all so worried about you. Me, the girls, the boys, everyone.”

_Even Miss Priya, the man stealer?_

“W-what happened?”

“Please don’t go near mirrors or windows.”

“Why not?”

“He was choking you.” She said and laced her fingers with mine. “As I said already they’re keeping him in the beach hut until he has calmed down.”

_Shit_

“They also stopped filming when this happened so there’s only footage from the camera in the kitchen and from the one near the daybeds.”

_Oh god, how bad was it?_

I held onto Lottie for dear life as she led me into the kitchen, yes, the _kitchen_.

_Why would she bring me **HERE**? Of **all** of the places in the villa, she chose the kitchen... _

I saw the belt laying on the countertop and I was flashed back to a little while ago.

_Why did this **have** to happen? I was actually starting to like him a little… but now I don’t think I can. _

_You can_ , a voice said to me.

“Oh, Vee. It’s okay, he’s not going to be near you for the rest of the night, or tomorrow hopefully.” Lottie said.

“What about Priya? Is she okay?” I asked.

_Priya? Why the hell am I worried about… oh, right, the violence. He might use her as his next target… if he stays in the villa_

“She’s a bit shaken, but she’ll be okay. You on the other hand… how bad was it?”

“How bad was what?”

“The, y’know…” She trailed off.

_Oh. That._

“Ugh.” I groaned but actually, I needed to tell somebody. “We had an argument.”

“...an argument that led him to nearly kill you?”

“Something like that, yeah.” I sighed.

This was up there with some of the bad things he had done to me. But it didn’t come _close_ to the worst thing he did to me...


	6. Something About You Makes Me Feel Dangerous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y’all don’t hate me

_The worst thing he ever did to me…_ Was my last thought before I fell asleep next to Hope on the couch.  
  


**One hour later**

Eyes burned holes in the back of my neck as I was thrown into a loop of the flashback from last night. Was kissing Noah a mistake?

His lips on mine were something I had never experienced before. It was something new. Something fresh. Something I  _ needed, _ at that moment.

The sensation was still tingling on my lips as I opened my eyes, awakening to the sound of two people chatting quietly in the kitchen outside, and me being the nosiest person going I _had_ to check out what was up.

It was two unfamiliar looking men speaking quietly to one another.

 _Who_ **_are_ ** _they?_

I creaked open the door but it was so loud that I had to press myself up against the wall so no one would see me.

“He has to go.” A voice said.

“Agreed. He tried to kill her.”

“We will take action as soon as everyone knows about what happened.”

_Does that mean I have to tell everyone our history?_

I opened the door a little further and tried to make up an excuse to get closer.

_A drink? A snack? A… oooh an ice pack or some frozen peas_

“We will need to bring….. into the villa.” Is all I heard because everybody began to howl with laughter upstairs.

_What’s so funny?_

_“Gary you absolute mad lad!”_ Rocco laughed.

_Shush I’m trying to listen to the crew_

“Yes, we do. Send them off a text soon please.”

 _I am not telling_ **_anyone_ ** _about this_

I snuck past the producers and into the kitchen where it all started.

I got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach as I opened the fridge to get some frozen peas for my neck.

I held the freezing cold bag up against the bruise which stung a lot.

“Veronica.” I heard which made me jump.

I threw the peas down on the counter and covered the bruise with my hair.

It was Rocco.

“Oh hey Roc, why are you still up?”

“Couldn’t sleep, Lottie and Noah are snoring so loudly.”

 _It’s not_ **_that_ ** _bad_

“Would you like me to make you anything?” I asked, trying to change the subject and I hoped he wouldn’t ask me about the bruises.

“Thank you love, but I don’t want anything at the moment.”

I couldn’t hold my emotions in anymore. I turned away from him and tried to wipe away the tears that were rushing through the flood gates.

I bent down behind the counter so he couldn’t see me but that did nothing. He sat down next to me and pulled me in for a hug.

“Is everything okay? Is something bothering you?” He asked.

_No_

“Um… yeah, it’s all okay.”

“Vee. If it’s okay, why is there a line of bruising around your neck and why are their peas on the counter?”

“Hair straightener.”

“Now I know nothing about hair straighteners but they wouldn’t be able to cause that much bruising, and it’s all the way around your neck too.”

_Busted_

I sighed loudly and turned to face him. I saw concern and worry in his forest green eyes.

I tried to hold in the second wave of tears but that didn’t work.

_Come on Vee. Tell him_

“He… he…..” I started to say but I began to choke on my tears.

“He did what? Who’s ‘he’? What happened?”

_Can I trust him?_

_I mean it’s gonna get out to the whole villa anyway_

“Bobby… he…” I gestured to my neck.

Rocco looked absolutely furious in that moment. “He did that to you?”

I nodded and burst into tears again next to him.

“Do you want me to go and get Gary or Noah or someone?”

“Stay with me, please.” I begged, not wanting to be left alone.

He took out his phone and angrily typed a message to Gary.

“Priya…” I sighed.

I know she stole him off me but, in that moment, it was like- I felt terrible for her. She was the one in a couple with him after all.

“Want me to get her too?”

“No thank you.”

**One minute later**

Gary came crashing into the room and as soon as he saw me his face fell.

“Are you alright, love?” He asked me.

Rocco got up from next to me and pulled Gary to the side. He said something to him and Gary’s jaw dropped to the ground.

“Are you joking with me?”

“No.” Rocco said in a serious tone.

_Uh oh. Angry Gary alert_

“Oh my god.” Gary whispered. “Oh my god.” He said, louder.

**Five minutes later**

After Gary had finished saying oh my god, the three of us headed up the stairs to bed.

The others were chatting amongst themselves but stopped when we entered.

I walked up to Priya’s bed and sat down next to her.

“Got room for one more?” I asked in the kindest voice I could muster in that moment.

“Where’s Bobby?”

_Ugh why did she have to ask me that?_

“Gone.”

She raised an eyebrow and turned over so she was fully facing me. “Gone where? Why is he gone?”

“He tried to choke me.” I tried to whisper to her but it came out more like a shout.

Her eyes went wide and she covered her mouth with her hands.

“He _what?!_ ” Noah hissed.

_I forgot that everyone can hear me_

_He looks like he’s about to burn the villa down_

“He um…” I said as my lip began to tremble.

I felt so scared at what Noah _could_ be capable of doing. But he had been so calm with everything else so I didn’t really know what to expect.

“Oh my god. If he _hurt_ you, I swear to god I’ll burn this villa down.”

“He did…”

“Oh. My. God. Are you fucking serious?!”

He stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind him, shaking the walls and two of the pictures fell to the ground.

_Oh no_

I slid into bed next to Priya even though she didn’t answer me. I turned away from her and cuddled up to the duvet.

**The next morning:**

It seemed like Noah had calmed down a little since last night. When I opened my eyes I noticed that most of the others had left the room, leaving just Noah and I in the room.

“Good morning, Noah.” I said through a yawn.

He didn’t look at me the entire time it took him to leave the room.

_Is he annoyed at me?_

_Oh no_

I followed him out of the room but by the time I got to the stairs, I couldn’t see him.

I headed out to the kitchen to make a cuppa and realised; 

_Where_ **_is_ ** _everyone?_

I couldn’t see anyone at all. Unless they’re all changing at the _exact_ same time.

I finally had some company when Noah joined me in the kitchen but ignored my existence.

_Am I invisible?_

“Noah...”

“What?” He hissed.

_Jaysis, someone’s a Moody Millie this morning_

“I just wanted to ask, are you… annoyed at me?”

“Are you joking? No, of course not!”

He set his mug down on the counter and turned to face me.

”I'm annoyed at myself. And if you wanted to know why, it’s because I could have stopped _that_ from happening, but I didn’t.”

“There’s no way you could have helped babe, you were all having a laugh upstairs and I’m happy it wasn’t disrupted.”

_Did I just call him babe?_

“Did you just call me ‘babe’?” He asked.

“I didn’t mean to, I’m so-”

“Don’t you dare say you’re sorry, Veronica Scott. I… liked it? A little bit.” He said while stirring his tea with a heart-warming smile on his face.

_He is so cute_

“I guess that means I can call you that more often?”

 _“If only we were in a couple.”_ He said quietly, but Hope entered the room, disrupting our chat.

“Morning you two. How did you sleep?” She asked as she slung her arms around me in a lazy, but sweet hug.

“Awful. Your man was snoring so loudly last night.” I joked.

 _Yes_ **_your_ ** _man_

_For now_

“Oi! I’m right here.”

Hope and I began to giggle while he left in a huff with his tea.

“I got a text!” Lottie announced as she entered the kitchen, followed by everyone else.

“Go on, read it out!”

**Girls it’s time to get up close and personal with the boys in today’s _mini_ challenge called Guess Who?! Please head to the living room for further instructions #Feels #WhoTheEffAreYou?**

“Eeeeek!” The girls and I squealed.

The boys also looked happy and jostled around as we all made our way into the living room.

**Ten minutes later**

All of the other girls had gone already and were whispering among themselves about Mucus and Kendrick… Whatever _that_ is.

I was brought into a room and was told to sit down on the couch. I ended up sitting on someone’s lap but quickly moved off them.

_The lads are probably already so horny from this challenge_

“Veronica. You have to guess who each boy is! You have five minutes.” The loudspeaker boomed.

I pulled on my blindfold slowly, letting my eyes adjust to the darkness.

The boys were told to all stand up and face me. I stood up off the sofa and began to walk forwards. I stopped about five steps from where I started and outstretched my arms.

I couldn’t feel anyone so I walked forward and slammed into a rock hard body.

_Yeah this is definitely someone_

I began to run my hands over his defined pecs and abs.

_Is this dude Hercules?_

I trailed my hands up his arms to his shoulders and neck. I went for his jaw next and around the back for his head.

“Oh, I can feel cornrows, you must be... Rahim!”

I shuffled away from him and felt another body. I went for where I thought the person's head was this time and I felt long, wavy hair.

“This must be... Rocco.”

I moved away from “Rocco” and over to the next boy.

I went for this lad’s back first which was a bad idea since you can’t really tell who someone is from their back. Or can you?

I ran my hands over his shoulders and to his chest.

“Oh my god.” He groaned.

“Shut up!” Someone else said, but I couldn’t really recognise the voice.

_Aren’t they meant to be quiet?_

I then tried to reach the top of his head to feel his hair but I couldn’t, I was too short.

“He’s so tall! Bend down a little for me won’t you?” I asked and he did as he was told.

His hair was soft and short, it was longer on top and short at the sides.

_Noah?_

I knelt down and began to glide my fingertips over the backs of his legs.

I then moved my hands up to his stomach, making sure to tease him along the way.

_I really hope this is Noah now or else I’m going to be very embarrassed_

“I think this is… Noah?”

_Took me long enough_

I stood back up and moved onto the last boy which was presumably Gary. And I was right.

As soon as I felt his arms I knew it was him.

“Gary.” I said.

“Is that it? Am I done?” I asked but was pulled by the wrist over past the “last” boy.

“Two more!” The speaker boomed.

_I was right?_

_So last night wasn’t a coincidence that I heard two people talking about new boys  
_

_And Mucus and Kendrick… that must mean something too._

My fingertips made contact with soft skin and an open shirt.

I ran my hands up and down his chiselled body and I got to his neck. I could tell he had short hair that was gelled back and long on top.

_Do any of the lads here use hair gel?_

_I don’t think so_

I moved my hands from the back of his head to his chiselled jawline.

_Could be Noah_

_But Noah never wears a shirt and I already touched every single part of him that I could. So it’s not Noah_

_Who the hell_ **_is_ ** _this then?_

“Ugh I don’t know who this is!”

The man laughed quietly.

I moved my hands to his muscular arms and ran my fingers down them to his hands.

_His hands aren’t really big so it’s not Noah. It’s not Gary because he doesn’t have a beard…_

_Unless…._

_Oh my god it could be a new boy like I already thought!_

“Oh em gee!” I squealed.

“I heard the girls talking about some Kendrick guy, so… is it Kendrick?”

I moved onto the last boy and felt his long, curly hair and a beard.

_Rocco?_

“Wait but… but the other boy is Rocco!”

“Hang on. The other lad had no beard so it could be the Mucus guy. What rhymes with Mucus? M….. oh! Judas?”

_No?_

“Good job Veronica! You got… three out of six!”

_What?! I thought I did good_

I took my blindfold off and was met with the boys and two new, mysterious looking men.

Noah had already left the room for some reason so it was just me and the rest of the boys there. The girls entered the room and ran straight over to the two new boys.

“So, who are you lads?”

“I’m Lucas, not Judas.” Said the guy with the shirt on.

“And I’m Henrik, not Kendrick.” Said the other guy while chucking a little.

_Two new guys? That might cause some drama_


	7. Just A Little Bit Of Your Heart Is All I Want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucas and Henrik join us in the villa, there’s two dates and a recoupling is announced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> 🤗🤗🤗

I barreled the two boys into a hug, the overpowering scent of expensive cologne from Lucas, and cloves and sandalwood from Henrik made me take a step back.

 _That’s_ **_a lot_ ** _of scents at once_

“It’s so nice to meet you Lucas and Henrik!” I squealed.

_New boys…_

_Also, what was I thinking? Mucus and Kendrick?_

_Of course they were going to bring in new boys_

_They were going to do this_ **_all_ ** _along_

_Should have seen this coming_

I took a step back and looked over at Hope, who was drooling all over Lucas.

 _I wonder what Noah will have to say about_ **_that_ **

_Speaking of the devil_

Noah re-entered the room and greeted the new boys with a handshake.

“Oi you lot!” Gary shouted to get our attention. “Let’s go to the firepit and get to know the lads, yeah?”

We all walked through the doorway and out to the lawn. By the time the last person got out the door, which was Hannah, Gary was already over at the firepit waving at us.

We sat down on the benches together and idly chatted for a few minutes. We talked about the weather, as you do with small talk. And Gary mentioned his nan and how much she hates Millwall Football Club.

“Anyone got any questions for us?” Lucas asked.

“I do! I do!”

“Go on Hope, what is it?”

“Are you a model? You **_must_** be a model.”

He blushed and smiled at her warmly. “You’re such a charmer. But no… I’m a physiotherapist.”

I managed to get something into the conversation by saying; “You must be _really_ good with your hands then.” And I threw him a wink.

 _Just to see_ **_who_ ** _he’s got his eye on_

Noah did not look happy, the two girls he liked were flirting with Lucas.

 _Oh_ **_boo hoo_ ** _at least your partner didn’t try to kill you_

I didn’t really listen to much of the rest of the conversation but I heard snippets of it. Henrik is a wilderness instructor from Sweden, and Lucas is a physiotherapist from Oxford, as I had just heard.

“You must be loaded if you’re a physiotherapist.” Priya said in a flirty way and began to twirl her hair around and around her finger.

_Gold-digger_

After another few minutes of chatting, we split off in groups. I headed towards the bean bags with Hope, Priya and Marisol.

“So… what do you guys think of the new boys?” Hope asked.

“Lucas is a bit of me. But Henrik…” Priya gushed.

“Meh, they’re alright I guess.”

_I’m surprised she isn’t excited about new boys_

“Marisol, you’re **_not_** excited by new boys?”

“Nah, not really. What about you, Vee?”

_Lucas is hot but that’s about it so far, and I got a best friend vibe from Henrik, but nothing more than that really_

“I think they’re lovely. I don’t really have much of an impression on them so far.”

 _“Lucas is a dream.”_ Hope swooned.

“What would Noah say about this, Hope?” I asked.

She froze for a second and her face flushed of all of its colour.

“You better not say **_anything_ **.”

 _Oh, I_ **_will_ **

_I’ll tell him everything you said about Lucas, and I’ll tell him you were drooling all over Lucas when he wasn’t in the room, doing_ **_whatever_ ** _he was doing_

“Would you not want to be honest in your ‘relationship’?” I asked as I got out of the beanbag.

I didn’t look back while I walked over to the gym. Gary was doing weights, while Ibrahim spotted him.

“Hey lads, either of you see Noah?”

“I think I saw him… oh! There he is!” Rahim said and pointed towards the pool.

Noah had just gotten out of the pool and the water glistened on his skin in the sun. As he headed towards us I felt my heart beating faster and faster.

“Earth to Veronica!”

Gary snapped his fingers and I brought my attention away from Noah and towards him instead.

“Hmm?”

“Colour me curious or call me nosy… but do you fancy Noah?”

_Yes. A lot_

“Um…”

_Speaking of the devil_

“Can I pull you for a chat?” I asked Noah from beside me.

“Of course. Just let me dry myself off.”

“Mate I think she prefers looking at you while you’re soaking wet, and when _your skin is glistening in the sun._ ” Gary teased

_Oh shut up will you_

_No one_ **_asked_ **

Noah and I headed away from the two boys and up to the roof terrace.

“What did you want to chat about?”

“Um… nothing really. I just need to… chill.” I said as my heart thumped in my chest.

“Yeah, so do I. There’s a lot going through my head today.”

_I hope he’s thinking about me_

He rested his arm on the backrest behind me and relaxed into the bench.

“I just feel like everything’s going bad for me here so far so I need to start fresh, yknow?”

_And that means telling him a little bit about what Bobby and I had_

“Is something up?”

_Yes, a lot is up_

“There’s…” I began to say but I could already feel myself tense a bit.

“There’s something I have to tell you about someone in here.”

 _Someone who_ **_was_ ** _in here before he tried to_ **_kill_ ** _me_

“Is it bad?” He asked.

_Depends_

I nodded and turned away from him so he couldn’t see the tears that began to slowly trickle down my face.

I covered my mouth to hide my cries but he noticed that something was up. 

He began to softly run his hand up and down my back, trying to calm me down.

“Don’t feel like you have to do this, but if you _really_ want to, I’m here for you.”

“Thank you.”

He gave me a supportive smile which lightened my mood a little.

“I guess I should start from the very start of this whole… mess.”

“So, when I was seventeen I was going to go on a date, right? But the guy stood me up. And so I was just sitting on the bar stool waiting for my friend to come pick me up, when I felt two hands grabbing at my hips.”

He nodded as if to say he was listening without interrupting me, but I could tell he was getting irritated about what I said the creepy man did .

“And then this other guy came up and said “Get away from my girlfriend!’ Or something like that, so the other dude would go away. And then I saw who it was-” My voice became a squeak and I hid my face in my hands.

 _You_ **_have_ ** _to open up to him_

“It was… it was…”

“You don’t have to tell me, Veronica. I understand that it must be hard for you to share your story.”

He took one of my hands in both of his and held onto it while I spoke.

“It was Bobby.” I said.

“Oh… I wasn’t expecting that. But thank you for sharing.”

“I’m not done. I went back to his place that night, which I regret, and we…” I sighed “Dated.”

_I hope he understands and doesn’t push me away_

_I’m scared_

“Oh um… you two dated?”

“Yeah. And I didn’t want to tell anyone because then they’d think we were playing the game to get to the finale and win.”

He wrapped me up in his big, strong arms and pulled me closer to him. 

He cradled my head with his hand against his chest.

“Please don’t tell anyone.”

“I won’t.” He said and gave my hand a squeeze.

_But that’s not even half of the stuff that has happened in my life_

We sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the gentle breeze that passed us and the sound of the others splashing about in the pool.

We heard a beep sounding from somewhere in the villa.

“I got a text!” Hope announced. “Oh em gee!”

Noah and I ran down the stairs, but I went out first so it wouldn’t seem suspicious.

**Islanders, tomorrow afternoon there will be a recoupling in which Lucas and Henrik will choose which girl they would like to couple up with.**

**After they have chosen, the other boys have a decision to make on which girl they would like to be coupled up with #DecisionsDecisions #GetGrafting**

Ding!

My phone lit up and I unlocked it to see a message that read;

**Lucas and Henrik, the public have been voting for which girl they’d like to see you go on a date with. For Lucas the public have chosen...**

Ding!

“Hope! Congrats hun, you’re going on a date!” I said and smiled sweetly at her.

_I hope one date can change everything_

Hope skipped off into the villa with Lucas in tow as Lotties phone beeped.

“Henrik, you’re going on a date with Marisol!”

_Henrik and Marisol? Nah I don’t see it_

Henrik and Marisol walked off and into the villa.

**Two hours later**

We didn’t really do much for the rest of the day, well, I had a nap with my frozen peas on the bench in the terrace as there was some shade up there. I don’t know what else went on.

“Veronica, wake up. I have something very important to tell you!” Lottie said.

“Huh?”

“Noah fancies you!”

_Mate_

_Yes!_

_Wait, how does she know this?_

“How do you know this?” I asked.

“He told me. He said ‘I like Veronica but I don’t want anyone to know. I trust you _not_ to tell her or anyone’ but I couldn’t help telling you.” 

“So _that_ means…”

“Babes. That means you can go get him!”

_Mate..._

_This is actually the best day ever_

“Right on cue. Hey Noah!” I said.

“Where the hell is Hope?”

_Oh no. What did she do now?_

“She’s with Priya in the bedroom I think.” Lottie said.

He stormed out of the room and slammed the door.

 _Dudes got_ **_some_ ** _anger_

~

Hope pulled me for a chat later in the day to discuss the date.

“It was fun. Not much happened though.” She said and kept the description of everything vague, I knew something was up.

Lottie, Marisol, Hannah and Priya joined us to discuss tomorrow’s recoupling.

“We think Lucas is going to pick Hope and Henrik might pick either Marisol or Priya.” Hannah said.

Hope just smiled bashfully from beside us as we began to tease her.

It had now become darker outside as the sun set on the horizon, so we headed up to the changing room to get ready for the evening. 

I heard there was a welcoming party tonight so I decided to go _all_ out.

I began rooting through my wardrobe and found my black cutout dress. I paired it with my black heels and a red lip, as always.

I began curling the ends of my hair loosely as the other girls got dressed.

_Wow I’m quick today_

I wasn’t minding what I was doing and I ended up forgetting to put my strapless bra on. I saw it on the floor over by where Priya was standing.

“Priya hun, could you pass me my bra?”

“You’re not wearing one?” She asked.

“I forgot to put one on.”

“Babe how do they look so good? I’m so jealous!” Hannah pouted.

_They really don’t though_

I was getting a bit uncomfortable with the conversation so I kept to myself and didn’t talk the rest of the time I was in there.

I decided to just go without it as it’s not like I was going to be doing much dancing anyway.

 _It_ **_is_ ** _a party though_

_Oh well_

We headed out to the lawn and the boys greeted us. There were ten glasses set out on the island bar in the middle of the lawn.

_Imagine having a little date there with your boo_

_That would be_ **_so cute!_ **

We gathered around the island for a toast.

“To Lucas and Henrik! Welcome to the villa, lads.” Gary toasted.

“To Lucas and Henrik!”

I decided to head to the kitchen with a few of the others. Rahim tried to make a “violet man” cocktail that went horribly wrong.

Lottie eventually took over and made me a Love Island iced tea.

I held the rim of the glass to my mouth and took a sip of the drink. The pineapple and passion fruit combo splashed around my mouth and it tasted amazing. That mixed with the vodka, tequila and rum was _heaven_.

“Oh my goodness. My mouth is orgasming!”

Lottie smiled proudly and began making Ibrahim’s Violet man drink. Which for some reason was garnished with a tomato slice.

“One Violet man!”

Gary entered the kitchen and took an overconfident gulp of the drink.

 _Mate that’s about to burn in_ **_3… 2… 1..._ **

“Oh damn! Oh! Ouch! That burns!”

I grabbed the milk from the fridge and poured out a glass for him. “Helps with the spice.” I said.

“How do you know that works?” He asked while his face turned bright red and I handed him the glass.

“My mum cooks really spicy food when we have get-togethers at my nan’s house all the time. I’m used to the spice now. She always said ‘la leche siempre hace desaparecer la especia mi’ja’ which means something like milk always makes the spice go away.”

Drinking the spicy drink brought me back to a time when mum, dad, Lana and I were a happy family. Travelling to Mexico to see my aunties and uncles used to be amazing.

I would love the family get-togethers, and the dancing and singing. It was a good time.

“Go on, if you’re used to the spice I dare you to chug the drink.” Gary said.

 _Oh it’s_ **_on_ **

I took one tiny sip.

“Oh go on hun, you can do this!”

I held the glass up to my lips and began pouring the drink into my mouth.

The spicy liquid slid down my throat with ease and did not leave a trail of spice behind like it used to when my mum would cook.

I set the glass down on the countertop to an applaud from Hannah and Lottie.

“Child’s play.” I said with a smirk, and me and my iced vodka heaven headed over to join Lucas, Henrik, Noah and Hope by the beanbags.

I pulled a beanbag out and sunk down into it next to Hope as they were in a deep discussion about something.

“So you’re planning on picking her?” Lucas asked.

“Y- oh! Hey Vee.”

“Good evening lads and lassies, enjoying the party?”

“We’re all just chilling here, talking about… we’re... just talking.”

_Sure. I heard what you said Noah_

Henrik leaned over and whispered “Do you like Noah?” In my ear.

“Yes.” I replied.

“Do you want him to pick you at the recoupling?”

“Yes.” I said a little louder.

“Alright, I’ll get a good word in for you.”

_Mate I don’t need that_

“Thanks hun.”

We heard a huge splash from the pool and a scream.

“Priya, how could you?!”

“I couldn’t resist pushing you in!” She laughed as Marisol pulled herself out of the pool.

_Bitchy move I see_

I looked around the villa and Rahim and Hannah were the only ones nowhere to be seen.

_Hmmm_

_Where would they be?_

_They_ **_have_ ** _been catching glances recently that I have noticed. Even in the kitchen Rahim was looking at her and she was gazing at him_

_Rhannah? Nah. Rannah? Nah. I can’t come up with names for the life of me_

_They wouldn’t suit each other_

“It’s time to dance!” Hope squealed as the music began to play.

We headed onto the dance floo- the lawn as the DJ spun some old school classics.

 _I_ **_really_ ** _should have worn a bra_

After a few minutes, I was slick with sweat from dancing so I decided to take a breather. I headed up to the bathroom and splashed my face with water, forgetting about the mascara I had on my eyelashes.

“Ugh.” I groaned and grabbed my makeup remover from the dressing room.

“Everything’s going wrong today.” I muttered to myself.

I heard two muffled voices from outside the bathroom door. The door swung open and in came Hope and Lucas. 

I stared open mouthed in shock as they had hands all over each other while biting and kissing one another.

 _Okay then… I’m just gonna mosey on out of here and act like this_ **_didn’t_ ** _happen_

I managed to get the hell out of the room and I ran down the stairs.

_I won’t tell anyone_

_Or will I?_

I headed down the stairs and noticed the light was still on. The light turned off as I flicked the switch. 

It was pitch black in the room and suddenly I felt two arms coil around my body from behind me. I tensed up, remembering what happened at the bar, and in the club...

I breathed in his cologne and sighed happily.

 _Louis Vuitton, more than likely. It’s_ **_got_ ** _to be Noah_

I knew it was Noah but I still felt scared so I flicked the switch back on. My eyes adjusted to the light and he began to walk backwards, carrying me over to the couch.

“Hey hun.” I said.

“Hey Vee, I just wanted to chat to see… to see where… your head was at. W-with u...us I mean.”

His voice was shaking a lot so he sounded _very_ nervous.

“Sure. What do you think of… us, so far?”

“Other than me being in a couple with someone else? I think we-we’re pretty good. And I might have done something little for you.”

“What’s that?” I asked curiously.

“It’s um… just something.”

“Come on Noah, please tell me!”

I began to get a little impatient with him as he sat there, probably thinking about what to say. But his expression was unreadable as ever, so it was very difficult.

He shifted slightly on the sofa to be closer to me and placed his hand lightly over mine. I turned my whole body towards him and crossed my legs.

“I wanted to do something nice for you, because I…”

He didn’t finish his sentence, but I really wanted to know what he was going to say.

“Why can’t I know what it is?” I asked.

“It’s a surprise.”

_A surprise?_

“No fair! I wanna know what it is! Come on Noah.”

I jumped up and down a little on the sofa next to him and whined like a little girl who couldn’t have a lollipop, which was a bad idea since I probably looked like an absolute child to the viewers.

 **_Chaldish_ **, if you will.

“Tell me what the surprise is! Pleeeeease?!”

“Uh… it’s nothing _spectacular_ or anything so don’t get your hopes up.”

“Hun, please tell me.” I said in a softer tone so he might have actually listened to me.

“Ugh fine, come on.”

He held his hand out for me to take and pulled me up off the sofa. He held one of his large, gentle hands over my eyes while he took my hand in his other. He walked me up to the roof terrace and shut the door behind him.

My eyes were uncovered as he lifted his hand away from my face. I saw blankets and pillows laid out on the couch and some fairy lights hanging on the walls.

“Oh my goodness. This is so cute!” I squealed and threw myself into the soft blankets. Which was a **_very_** bad idea.

He sat down next to me and wrapped a blanket around me, thank god, since my dress had moved quite a lot since falling into the blankets.

I snuggled into his side but I realised what I was doing. I tried to scoot away from him a little but he didn’t let me move. His grip on my waist was strong enough to not let me move, so I just stayed where I was.

“You’re such a romantic.”

“I am for girls that I like.” He replied.

 _So he_ **_likes_ ** _me?_

_I’ve never seen him this confident before_

I felt an eyelash flutter onto my cheek but I ignored it.

He saw it and delicately removed it from my cheek.

“Make a wish.”

_I wish for a kiss from Noah_

I blew the eyelash off his finger and almost immediately his lips were on mine.

“Is this what you wished for?”

“I can’t tell you, if I do my wish won’t come true.” I whispered into his mouth as I kissed him again.

_This isn’t like me_

_I need to stop_

_People will see me as the ‘villain’_

_Or something_

He smiled as he pulled away from me and I rested my head on his shoulder.

“That was… nice.”

“Only _nice_?”

“I mean… it was absolutely incredible! I loved that.”

_There we go_

“Loved it enough to kiss me again?” I questioned.

I held his jaw with my finger and locked lips with him again, kissing him tenderly.

I took his hand and ran my thumb along his fingertips before I let go. I read somewhere that if you do this it turns a guy on. It never worked with Bobby, but I ought to try it with Noah to see what would happen.

And contrary to popular belief, it did nothing. Well, it did _something_ , it made my _own_ heart flutter.

He let his hands rest on my hips as I straddled him. I had done this countless times with other men, and women sometimes too. But something about him made me feel… well it made me feel things.

_I can’t believe we’re not a couple yet_

I leaned in and kissed along his jaw while he groaned softly, making sure _not_ to suck on his skin enough to leave a mark. Because I knew _damn_ well if I did, Hope would have had some words to say to me.

And then I heard someone calling my name.

“Veronica! Noah! Where are you guys?”

Noah rolled his eyes.

“I’ll go down a minute before you.” He said while blushing profusely.

“That’s a good idea.”

I fixed my dress before heading downstairs just before Noah did, and found everyone splashing about in the pool.

_I’m not getting in there with my clothes on_

I sat on the pool edge and watched the others have fun. Lottie swam over to me and pulled on my arms, trying to get me to go in.

“Come onnn Vee! It’s so nice in here!”

“It looks lovely in the pool but I don’t want to get wet, especially in a dress.”

“Please?”

She used all of her strength and pulled me in against my will.

_Ugh why?_

Gary and Ibrahim pulled themselves out of the pool and ran towards the kitchen. They stopped and turned around before running full speed towards the pool again.

_Uh oh_

**_“Cannonball!”_** They both shouted and flipped into the pool, making a huge splash.

Noah also cannonballed into the pool but his splash wasn’t as magnificent as Gary and Rahim’s.

We got ready for bed a while later and I chose a bed for myself when I went into the bedroom.

I was the first into the room, and the first in bed.

“Goodnight everyone!” Lucas said.

Everyone settled down and were sound asleep in minutes.

I turned over and cuddled into the pillow next to me, wishing it were someone. Which will hopefully change tomorrow.

_I can’t wait until this pillow becomes a man_


	8. I Can’t Have What I Want And Neither Can You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s time for the recoupling! Who will pick who?
> 
> “Even though you ain’t mine, I promise the way we fight makes me honestly feel like we’re just in love, baby when push comes to shove. Damn, baby, I’m a train wreck too. I lose my mind when it comes to you. I take time for the ones I choose and I don’t wanna smile if it ain’t from you...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s the only song I could think of at the moment so I _could_ change.

**Morning  
**

I woke up with a thumping pain in my head.

_Ugh_

_Did I even drink last night?_

_It’s probably from Lottie keeping me awake all night with her snoring_

_And Noah_

I squinted as the lights turned on and the curtains opened, letting the sun shine through the glass panes of the windows.

“Goooood morniiiing Islanders!” Hannah chirped as she got out of bed.

_Ugh, shut up!_

_I’ve got a headache_

I pulled the covers over my head and tried to drown out the noise.

“Come on Vee! Wake up!”

“Nooo!” I whined.

I managed to hear her whisper “Who does she fancy?” To the others.

“Noah.” Everyone said in unison except Noah, who was still asleep.

 _How is_ **_he_ ** _allowed sleep and I’m_ **_not_ ** _?_

“Veronica if you get up now you can see Noah.”Hope said, which confused me.

_Is she not… with him?_

I kept the covers held over my head and I curled up in a ball.

_I’m not moving_

I felt someone land on top of me with a thud. I let go of the covers and began to laugh. I had a feeling it was Lottie, but it was Hope.

“We need a girly chat about the recoupling!” She said.

“Didn’t we have one yesterday evening?”

“Shush! We’re having another one babes. Now, get up.”

_Bossy much?_

She finally removed the covers from over me and I made a whiny noise as the bright lights shone over me.

“Nooo, let me sleep!”

“If you get up I’ll make you some breakfast.” She said.

_I don’t like breakfast_

_Eating makes me feel sick_

“Fine. But only if you get me a glass of orange juice.”

_That stuff is lovely_

I sat up in the bed and rested my back against the pillows and the headboard. The pain was still thumping in the sides of my head and the fact that Noah was snoring _very_ loudly didn’t help.

 _Is he going to be like this_ **_every_ ** _morning and_ **_every_ ** _night?_

_God, please help us all_

Everyone left the room, so it was just me and the snorer left.

 **_Finally_ ** he woke up.

“Did I oversleep?” He asked while yawning.

“No, but you kept everyone awake.”

“Sorry.”

He pulled back the covers and got out of bed, only to jump in beside me.

“Good morning.” He said.

“Morning, handsome.”

_Why do I do this to myself?_

_Why do I say it like that?_

“Can I have a cuddle?” He asked.

“What if Hope comes back in?”

“If she does, make an excuse.”

“Like what?”

“I’ll pretend to be asleep next to you, **or** I could actually fall asleep again because I can fall asleep in a few minutes.”

 _Oh we_ **_know_ ** _that_

He snuggled into my side and lay his head on my chest.

_Mate chill, we’re not a couple yet_

He wrapped his arms around me, and as he did, in came Hope, of **_all_** people.

Noah began to fake snore quietly and it didn’t even annoy me this time.

I looked at Hope in shock, but she looked calm.

“This is _not_ what it looks like, I swear. I was giving him a hug and he just fell asleep again.”

“It’s okay hun.” She said.

_You what?_

_It’s_ **_what now_ ** _?_

_Is Hope feeling okay?_

_Was she replaced by a clone?_

I tried to move in the bed to get more comfortable but Noah’s grip on me was so tight that I couldn’t.

_Let me move_

“Here’s your breakfast! It’s just jam on toast and orange juice, nothing special.” She said and placed the plate on the bedside table.

“Thank you so much hun! And thanks for remembering the orange juice.”

“No problem.”

She smiled at me and then left the room.

“Noah you can get up now.” I whispered to him.

“No.” He whined. “I’m happy here.”

_I can’t breathe_

“You’re squeezing me too tightly.”

“Am I? I’m so sorry! You could’ve told me.”

_You were “asleep”, so I couldn't_

He shifted in the bed and I could finally move too. I got comfortable again and picked up my plate of toast.

“That’s a crime!”

“What is?” I asked.

“Eating _toast_ in bed! You’ll get crumbs everywhere!”

“I’m _careful._ ” I said.

I took a bite of the toast and the strawberry jam tingled my tastebuds.

 _This is_ **_gorgeous_ **

“That looks really good.” He said.

“Want some?” I asked and held the toast up to his mouth.

_It’s mad to think we’re not even a couple… yet_

He took a bite and as he was chewing, he moaned at how _good_ it was.

_Oh, Jesus Christ_

**_That’s_ ** _how he sounds?_

_Oh my days_

_I can’t even..._

“I know right? Hope’s really good at making toast!”

I split the toast in half for us to share and then we both got up out of my bed.

**Three hours later**

I spent most of this time either sunbathing or putting suntan lotion on.

It was then time for lunch. I had some leftover pasta from last night and it was delicious.

Then I went for my first proper swim in the villa, which didn’t last long because as soon as I got in, Lucas’ phone went off.

“I got a text!” He called out.

**Lucas and Henrik, it’s time for you to pick which girl you want to couple up with. Please choose wisely. After you have chosen, the other boys have a chance to couple up with their chosen girl #SwitchItUp**

_Oh here we go_

I was the last girl to enter the dressing room after my shower and so I was already behind in time.

"How are we feeling ladies?"

"Great, I’m over the moon and I’m definitely going to get picked by who I want tonight" I groaned as I sat down at my makeup station.

_I want Noah_

"What's going on in here girls?" Gary popped his head into the room and asked.

"Dude, _fuck off!_ We're getting changed!" Priya scolded.

_Calm down love_

He left the room and Priya stood against the door so he wouldn’t come back in.

_That’s a bit much, don’t you think?_

"I’m feeling far from good” Hannah sighed. "I feel like I’ll end up with someone I don’t want to be with.”

_Same, girl_

_Same_

"If the lads can't see that you’re absolutely stunning well then they're fools! Sure look, at least we’re _all_ still going to be here." I said.

The girls nodded in agreement.

I took a look at herself in the mirror and realised; _I'm still in my bikini!_

I stripped off quickly in front of the girls since I’m used to stripping in front of **_anyone_ **, and put my bra and knickers on.

_Where the hell is my dress?_

“ **_Where’s my red dress?!_ **” I shrieked and searched my wardrobe frantically for it.

There was a knock on the door.

Priya moved out of the way and the door opened, revealing Noah standing in the doorway. 

"Will you hurry- Oh my days" his face flushed red when he saw me.

“ **Get out!** We’re still getting ready!” Lottie screamed.

_Mate_

_You_ **_don’t_ ** _need to scream_

I finally found my dress and quickly slipped it on. 

I brushed through my hair and fixed my lipstick, which was red to match my dress.

“I’m ready whenever you guys are.” I said, to hopefully calm everyone’s nerves down.

On the outside I must have probably looked calm, but on the inside my stomach was doing somersaults and I felt like I was going to throw up.

_I’m so nervous_

_I think I’m going to throw up_

_I’ll be fine, right?_

_Wrong_

We had a hug of solidarity before leaving the room.

**Two minutes later**

I sat down on the bench at the firepit next to Priya, as we were both single.

We were told by the producers to stand in front of the boys and wait until the first phone went off.

Lucas was up first.

I looked towards Hope and her expression was unreadable. I wanted to know exactly what she was thinking.

Was she thinking about Noah? Was she thinking about who will pick her? Probably.

She could have been thinking about what would happen if Lucas did pick her and what Noah would do afterwards...

_What would Lucas and Hope be like as a couple? Probably snogging the faces off each other at every chance they get_

_Or else; a train wreck_

He had already finished his speech by the time I snapped back into reality.

“...the girl I would like to couple up with is…”

There was a pure silence in the air as Lucas took a deep breath, and then said; “Hope.”

_Hang on_

_You_ **_what_ ** _?!_

_What?_

“Hold on a minute. Lucas, what the fuck?”

_Uh oh_

_Here comes storm Noah_

“What do you mean; What the fuck?”

“Why did you pick Hope?”

“I don’t have to explain myself to you, mate.” Lucas spat.

“You could do.” Marisol chimed in.

Lucas rolled his eyes.

“Well for starters I think she’s hot. She thinks I’m hot-”

“Does she?” Noah asked and glared at Hope. “Do you?”

“Um…”

_Time for peacemaker Veronica to step in_

“Boys, you two need to chill out.” I said and pushed them apart.

They backed off from each other and took their seats on the bench.

A phone went off and Henrik stood up while ringing his hands out with nervousness, breaking the silence.

“I would like to couple up with this girl because so far, I feel like I have a good connection with her. And I’d like to get to know her better! The girl I’d like to couple up with is... Marisol!”

_I didn’t see that coming_

_I thought he’d pick Priya or Lottie_

I brought my hands together to clap for them as they took their seats. And as they sat down, Rocco’s phone went off.

I watched as he stood up and took his place behind the fire, opposite us.

“I would like to couple up with this girl because she has been a part of my journey…”

 _Journey? Mate it’s day_ **_six_ **

“... so far. She’s really hot and I also feel a great connection with her. The girl I would like to couple up with is… Lottie!”

_That was... predictable_

She squealed and ran towards him, then she kissed him before sitting down next to Hope and Lucas.

They sat down as Noah stood up.

I felt my heart beat quicken in my chest as he took his place in front of us.

“I um… I don’t really know what to… do.” He said as his arms hung loose by his sides.

_What is up with him today?_

“Actually you know what? I do know what I’m gonna do.”

_Do it then_

His expression was still pretty much unreadable, except he now had a tiny smirk in the corner of his mouth.

“I would like to couple up with this girl because…” he said and a smile broke in his face.

_Finally! He’s smiling!_

_And not doing the Mr. Serious face_

“... she. She um… I feel like she’s kind of like the sun in a way. She brightens up any room she walks into, and she’s really hot.”

 _Is that_ **_all_ ** _boys talk about?_

_Girls being hot?_

_Is there literally_ **_nothing_ ** _else?_

He looked over towards where a sulking Hope was sitting for a second, before looking back at Priya, Hannah and I.

“I also feel like we have a connection and I’d like to get to… see where our couple goes. So the girl I would like to couple up with is…”

My heart began running a marathon as the villa settled into complete silence for a few minutes. I think Priya heard my heart beating out of my chest because she took my hand in hers and gave it a squeeze.

“You’ll be fine, hun.” She whispered.

We turned our attention back towards Noah and he looked like he had made a decision. Hopefully the **_right_ ** decision.

“Veronica.” He said.

_Mate_

_He chose_ **_me_ ** _!_

He held out his arm for me to take as I made my way over to him in a daze. I couldn’t believe what was happening. 

I was now in a couple with Noah.

_He’s such a gentleman_

I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Hope had ‘Jealousy’ written _all_ over her face as she scowled at me.

 _What did_ **_I_ ** _do?_

_Noah was the one who picked me_

_Not the other way around_

Lucas held her hand and was speaking to her, but she wasn’t paying any attention to him.

_Oh so as soon as you’re in a couple with him you’re like “I want Noah” again_

_Too bad, I’m with him now_

I looked into Noah’s eyes and the outside world faded away. It was just him and I in the moment. 

I felt myself fall into his deep brown eyes and I never wanted to stop falling.

He kissed my cheek lightly and we sat down next to each other with our thighs touching.

“I loved that speech, hun.” I said quietly to him.

“Thank you, babe. And I’m happy that I can call you ‘babe’ now too.”

_Oh my goodness_

_The way he said ‘babe’!_

_I’m gonna go melt into a puddle now_

Rahim’s phone went off next.

“Ugh, right here we go.” He sighed as he stood up and faced us.

He took a deep breath and shook out his nerves.

“I want to couple up with this girl because…”

_I wonder who he’ll pick_

“...of everyone here, I feel like- like…” he trailed off. “This girl is one of those girls who would stop and drop anything to help her friends, and that’s _one_ of the many things I like about her.”

His eyes move up and down the line of us girls.

“And she is like actually one of the fittest girls I’ve _ever_ seen, like honestly she’s beautiful. The girl I would like to couple up with is…”

He took another deep breath and said;

“Priya.”

_Ah yes, she would “stop and drop anything for her friends.”_

_Sure, Rahim_

_Sure_

_It’s not like she stole Bobby off me or anything on the second day, which if she didn’t do that he would still be here and I wouldn’t have almost_ **_died_ **

“Babe! Thank you!!” Priya beamed.

Everyone cheered as they shared a passionate kiss.

_Ugh get a room_

“Guess it’s my go then, eh?”

Gary got to his feet but looked unsure as he took his place opposite Hannah, who was standing alone.

“This girl is fit, yeah. And she’s great fun, if you know what I mean…”

_Gary, mate_

_Just stop_

“... she’s also been there for me when I had a little moment last night, because of what happened with… one of my best mates in here.”

_Who is he talking about?_

_Is he talking about me?_

“So that is why the girl is like to couple up with is… Hannah!”

Hannah let out a high pitched squeal and ran towards Gary with her arms open. She barrelled him into a hug and he then spun her around as we clapped for them.

_Nah_

_I don’t see that working_

I looked to my left and couldn’t believe I was sitting with _Noah_.

My stomach was doing somersaults and the butterflies fluttered around.

And I felt happy again, for the first time in forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She has finally updated!
> 
> Hallelujah!!


	9. I’m So Into You, Into You, Into You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short little chapter from Noah’s point of view

**Noah**

The breeze picked up a little and blew ripples in the pool water. The birds hid in the trees and the crickets  _ finally  _ stopped chirping.

It was peaceful and for the first time in a long time, I felt like everything would be right. I felt good vibes floating around the area I was seated, at the bed.

And I was right.  _ She _ sat down next to me on the bed and rested her head on my shoulder.

“Hey, gorgeous.” She said, which made me melt inside a little.

_ The way she says it though _

“Hey.”

I turned to look at her and she had the biggest smile on her face.

Her eyes flickered between my eyes and my lips as she laced our fingers together.

“I’m so happy that I can finally do this, without anyone judging us.” I said and leaned my body closer to hers.

She took my chin in her cold fingers and drew my lips towards her own.

_ Kiss her slowly _

_ Be a gentleman _

I started off by placing one drawn out kiss on her lips, and I could feel her smiling.

I pulled back and made sure to look into her eyes and nowhere else. Even though I wanted to run my eyes over every inch of her skin, I stopped myself from doing that.

Her bright blue eyes sent a wave of calmness over my body, like when you’re swimming in the sea at the beach. It gives you a sense of calming happiness.

“I am so happy that you picked me.” She said which made my heart flutter and I smiled back at her.

“And I’m happy I got the chance to pick you.”

I weaved my fingers through her hair with my right hand and let the other rest on her hip.

She placed a hand on my chest that was rapidly rising and falling. My heart shot through the roof and I wasn’t sure if I could calm it down or not.

Her lips pressed against my neck and she left one, soft kiss on the skin.

_ Oh _

_ Woah _

She turned her whole body to face me as she climbed onto my lap and made herself comfortable. Her fingers found my hair and her eyes locked with mine.

She gazed at me, probably waiting for my next move. But I didn’t move. The thing that was moving was the  _ only  _ thing that I did  _ not _ want to be moving.

_ Oh my god why? _

_ At least I’m with her now so  _ **_that_ ** _ doesn’t matter _

I knew she felt it because she shifted her weight on my lap and pushed me down so I was laying on my back against the soft duvet. She laced her fingers with mine and I pulled her arms up so her eyes were level with mine.

She sat astride me with her inner thighs resting against my hips, above my stomach. She then pressed her chest against mine while arching her back.

I let my eyes flutter shut as she leaned further forward and her lips made contact with my neck again.

_ Oh shit _

She sucked the skin into her mouth and bit down lightly. She dragged her teeth slowly along my skin and then released it from her mouth.

I knit my fingers through her hair and pulled her closer to me.

She pulled away from my neck and looked satisfied at the mark she made.

“That’ll show everyone who your priority is.” She whispered.

_ Why won’t she kiss me? _

_ On the lips, I mean _

I couldn't wait any longer so I crashed my lips against hers. She had the same amount of passion building up inside her and our movements were in sync, as if we had been doing this for years.

I slipped my tongue into her mouth and then kissed her deeply, making sure to draw it out for as long as I possibly could.

I heard someone clear their throat near us which made me jump. Veronica pulled away from me so she was sitting up, but she moved herself back down to my lap so she wouldn’t be sitting on my stomach.

_ Jesus Christ _

_ That scared me _

“Oh look at the snakes in the grass.” Hope spat.

_ Snakes? _

_ I love snakes! _

_ How are  _ **_we_ ** _ the snakes? _

“There’s a snake? Where?” Veronica asked excitedly.

_ Does she like snakes too? _

“In front of me.”

_ You mean you’re the snake, not me _

“Noah, we need to have a private chat.  **_Now_ ** .”

_ Right now? _

“Do we?” I asked.

“ _ Of course we do! _ ”

_ Calm down _

“I’m in... the... middle of something.”

“Fine, snog the face off your ‘ _ girlfriend’ _ but don’t come crawling back to me when she moves onto another boy.”

_ Girlfriend? _

_ Is that meant to be an insult towards Vee or what? _

“So does that mean we’re… decoupling?” I asked stupidly, forgetting about Veronica.

“Breaking up? We are, hun.”

_ Oh... _

“And also, why are you getting all worked up about this? When it was your turn you didn’t even  _ hesitate  _ to pick Veronica.”

“That’s true-”

“I think I need some time alone, to process this.”

_ Yes _

_ Time “alone” with  _ **_Lucas_ **

_ Your new partner _

“Okay.”

“ _ Okay _ ? Is that all you have to say?” She asked quite loudly.

_ Please don’t raise your voice _

“Yes.”

_ I need to become more confident when talking to other people _

_ And that’s a… start? _

_ I guess... _

Hope marched away from us in a huff.

“Don’t mind her. She’s just-”

“Stop making excuses for her, Noah.”

_ Excuses? _

She had a slight frown on her face to say that she was annoyed. Hopefully she wasn’t annoyed at me.

The frown signified anger, but that’s what her eyes lacked. Her eyes were full of tenderness and at the same time… there were still hints of annoyance and irritation speckled on her eyebrows and forehead.

“Are you annoyed at me?” I asked.

She shook her head. “I’m annoyed at Hope, because in a matter of  _ days  _ she's managed to get into your head.”

“She hasn’t.” I said, stupidly.

“She  _ has. Listen _ to me, Noah.”

I turned to her and gave her my full attention, eager to hear what she had to say.

“See. You immediately bring all of your attention onto someone after they give you an order. She  _ manipulated _ you.”

_ She did, didn’t she _

“I don’t think sh-”

“She did. Now, shut up and kiss me.” She whispered.

_ I’m not taking orders from anyone _

_ But I  _ **_do_ ** _ get to kiss her, so I guess I can do this one _

Our lips met in another kiss and I completely lost myself for the few minutes -what I thought was a few minutes-

When I pulled back and opened my eyes it had become pitch black outside. The stars twinkled in the sky and there wasn’t a cloud in sight.

The sky looked beautiful but it was telling me to head to bed.

Veronica wrapped her arms and legs around me like a koala and sighed happily. She closed her eyes and lay her head against my chest.

_ Looks like someone’s worn out _

_Guess I have to carry_ _her up to bed_

_ That's such an  _ **_effort_ ** _ though _

“Veronica, babe.” I whispered.

“Hmmm…?”

“I think it’s time for bed now.”

She wrapped herself tighter around me and wouldn’t let go.

I hoisted her up to my waist and held her up with my arms under her thighs. As I kissed her, I kept thinking back to what Hope had said in her rage; “...snog the face off your  _ girlfriend _ …”

_ Girlfriend _

_ Girlfriend _

_ Girlfriend  _ I repeated in my head.

_ I’d like Vee to be my girlfriend _

_ Someday _

_ Actually  _ **_no_ ** _. What am I saying? _

_ Get out of your head Noah! _

I got up off the bed and headed up to the bedroom.

I lay her down on  _ our _ bed and she let go of me. She then latched onto the covers.

_ Is she sleeping in her dress? _

_ Better get one of my t-shirts for her anyway _

I headed into the dressing room and pulled my shirt off. I then took my shoes and socks off and walked over to my wardrobe.

I pulled out a plain black t-shirt and slung it over my shoulder. I took off my jeans and threw my clothes into the hamper.

I headed back into the bedroom to see that Veronica had woken up and was talking quietly to Rocco about something.

She gave him a -what I assumed was a friendly- hug, and then flopped onto our bed.

“I got you a shirt.” I said and handed it to her.

“I’m going to go to the bathroom and put this on. I’ll be back soon. Thank you for the shirt. You’re the best, babe.”

I sat down on the bed and pulled the covers over me as I lay down. I noticed a big lump on one of the beds and a few goddess braids sticking out.

_ Guess she moved on quickly, huh _

“I stripped off as quickly as I could so I could get back to you.” Veronica said from right behind me as she wrapped her arms around my neck.

“You could have taken your time babe, it’s not like I’m going anywhere.” I said.

_ For now… _

_ Hopefully no one turns her head _

“You’re stuck with me now too. So don’t think for a second you can get out of this couple.” She said and began giggling which shook the bed.

_ I’d rather she shook the bed in a different way but… _

_ She looks happy, so I’m happy _

I felt her soft breath brushing the hair on my back so I knew she had fallen asleep.

_ Must be knackered _

I turned over slightly and placed a kiss on her forehead. She smiled in her sleep and she looked adorable.

“Will you two just get married already?!” I heard from next to me where Priya and Ibrahim were lying.

“I  _ have  _ to be a bridesmaid!” Hannah added.

“Me too!”

“I can be the person who brings you together in marriage! I’ve done that before.” Lottie joked.

_ Lottie. We’re  _ **_not_ ** _ at the “marriage” stage yet _

_ Maybe the honeymoon phase... _

_ Oh shit _

_ Am I catching feelings for her already? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Girlfriend? Um, Chile. Anyways, so..._


	10. Made My Decision To Test My Limits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s time for the brunch dates!

**Veronica**

I woke up early in the morning to the _beautiful_ sound of Lottie and Noah snoring quite loudly.

_And it’s right next to me now too_

_God, help me please_

I tossed and turned in the bed, trying to think of something that would shut them up.

_Think Veronica, think_

_What is the most annoying way to wake someone up?_

_Actually… no_

_I won’t wake them_

I pulled the covers back and tried to get up. But I couldn’t.

_Ugh, why?_

Noah had his strong arms wrapped around my body in a way in which it would be humanly impossible to move.

 _How am I meant to get up_ **_now_ ** _?_

_Move his arms?_

_That might work_

I took hold of his wrists with my hands and began trying to break myself free from his grip. Mind you, he was snoring louder than a chainsaw behind me.

_Shut. Up._

_If it’s going to be like this every night I way as well slumber with the birds and crickets outside_

After what seemed like an eternity I managed to break free.

I got up and replaced myself with a pillow so he could cuddle that instead.

 _He_ **_does_ ** _look adorable when he is asleep though_

_Wait no. That’s creepy!_

_Is that creepy?_

_Probably_

I tiptoed out of the room and headed into the dressing room.

The sun had already started to come out, and thank God it did. Meaning I had gotten enough sleep.

As soon as I sat down at my makeup station I began to experience a crawling sensation all over my body.

_What the…?_

I lifted the shirt up and saw nothing but my skin was still tingling.

I realised after a minute it was the itchy fabric rubbing against my skin.

_How does he wear this?_

I took it off and looked over at my gray and white bikini which matched what Noah had wore yesterday.

_Imagine if we matched_

_Aw that would be_ **_so cute_ ** _!_

I threw on my #CherryGate pyjamas and tiptoed back into the room.

I noticed that a few of the others were stirring in bed so I leapt onto mine and cuddled into Noah who was now purring softly like a cat.

_Cute_

I rested my head against his warm back which rose and fell in time with the beat of my heart. He began to stir but I didn’t want him to get up.

He turned over to face me but still had his eyes closed. His long, curly eyelashes were fluttering slightly and man, I got so jealous of him.

_How is it fair that boys have longer eyelashes than girls?_

He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer as his eyes opened slowly.

“I don’t want to get up yet.” I said quietly to him.

“Hmm?” He asked while stretching his arms up in the air.

“I said; I don’t want to get up yet.”

“Okay, Princess. Would you like some breakfast?”

I froze in place and didn’t look at him.

_Bobby used to call me ‘Princess’_

_Oh, how I wish he didn’t_

He must have noticed me freeze because he began to stroke my back softly and he had a concerned look on his face.

“Is everything okay?”

“Um… yeah. But you calling me ‘Princess’ reminded me of…”

“Oh babe, _I’m so sorry!_ I promise I’ll try not to bring _that_ up again.”

Lottie leapt to her feet on the bed which startled me.

“Rocco and I will be making breakfast. Any requests?”

_Ugh_

_Breakfast_

“Nothing, thanks.” I said.

“Veronica. You have to have _something_. I know you don’t want to but I could make you something.” Rocco said.

“Like what?”

“Wheatgrass smoothies!”

_Wheatgrass what-now?_

“Uhh… I’ll have one? Yeah, I’ll have one.”

I snuggled back into the covers and dozed off.

**10 minutes later**

I began to come back into reality. Someone's fingers were rubbing my temples softly and it made my headache drift away.

I opened my eyes and looked up to see it was Noah. He had a soft smile on his face but wasn’t looking directly at me.

“How long was I asleep for?” I asked which made his eyes fall on mine.

“Not that long.” He said and wrapped his arms around me.

I could hear his heart beating as I lay my head against his chest. He leaned down and kissed the tip of my nose before grinning.

_So sweet_

I laced my fingers with his and we sat in silence for a few moments.

“I got a text!”

_What now?_

“Guess we better start the day then.” Noah sighed, and we both got up.

We headed down onto the lawn as Marisol began to recite her text.

**Islanders, today you will be going on a date with a person of your choice. The girls will be choosing which islander they would like to date! #BreakfastIsServed #Brunch**

_Brunch dates?_

Priya’s phone was the first to go off.

“Okay so I’m bringing this person because I feel like I need to clear the air with them on a few things…”

_Uh oh_

“Veronica, would you like to go on a date with me?”

_Hell no_

“Um…”

I looked at Noah and he gave me a nod and a smile.

“Have fun.” He said and kissed me lightly on the cheek, before pulling me into a warm embrace.

_A “date” with Priya_

_Could this day get any worse?_

Priya had already disappeared into the villa by the time Noah had let go of me.

I blew him a kiss before turning my back to him and walked off.

On my way up the stairs, my gut began to churn like it was telling me something. Something bad was going to happen to me.

I headed into the dressing room to find Priya quietly humming to herself as she curled her hair.

_I love her hair_

_I’m so jealous_

I looked in the mirror and noticed the bruising began fading away on my neck. I brushed my fingers against the skin but I didn’t get any more sharp pains.

_That’s odd_

_Normally the bruising would have lasted more than a week_

“So um… why did you pick _me_ , and not Ibrahim?” I asked.

She looked up from her station and smiled at me.

“I just thought… we all have to live here with each other, right? So I just thought it would be a good idea to clear the air and not fight.”

“Hun… how can I forgive you for stealing Bobby away from me. He would still be here if you didn’t pick him.”

“Would he though? I mean… you _did_ kiss Noah. Isn’t Bobby the type to get jealous really quickly.” _She_ **_does_ ** _have a point_

“So, it’s not my fault.”

“But I… you…” I began to say, but quickly stopped myself.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

**Priya**

I sat down at the table opposite Veronica, while she took the other seat.

She popped the cork and poured out two glasses of champagne for the both of us.

_Why is she taking everything out on me?_

_It’s not my fault!_

**_She_ ** _was the one who kissed Noah for crying out loud_

_Oh no_

_I’ve been silent for too long_

“Look, Veronica. I know you’re really upset at me right now, but what happened is not my fault. Yes, I did couple up with Bobby but that was only because Hope told me to not pick Noah. My second best option was unfortunately your partner. And I’m so sorry.”

 _She is_ **_not_ ** _gonna like that apology_

“Oh hun, I’m so sorry! I didn’t realise that you liked Noah… more…” She trailed off. “You don’t still like Noah, do you?”

_Yes_

“No of course not, Vee. Don’t be silly!” I said, and the look of relief on her face made my stomach churn.

I took a sip of my champagne and smiled at her, hopefully making it seem like I _wasn’t_ sad.

She looked down and began circling one of her nails around on the table.

“You okay, babes?” I asked her.

She shook her head and said; “I miss him,” quietly.

_Miss who?_

_It better not be who I think it is..._

“Miss who?”

“Bobby.” She sighed, looking down at her feet.

_Is she being serious?_

_He tried to kill her_

“Babes…” I said in a serious tone so she would understand. “He tried to-”

“That’s his way of showing love and affection...”

I was taken aback by her words, and her heartbroken smile. It caused my own heart to shatter as this was what she would call her ‘normal’.

I watched as her eyes left my gaze of sympathy, dropping onto the table in front of her. A short, quiet sigh escaped her lips twisting my gut with the deepest sorrow.

He managed to warp her view on life and everything in it, so now she thinks that his acts of violence are… normal.

_Jesus Christ_

I reached my hand across the table and placed it on top of hers. I squeezed gently and gave her a reassuring smile.

It was heart wrenching that he had done this to her and every ounce of sympathy I had for Veronica poured out of me.

I turned away from the table while still holding her hand and wiped under my eyes with my finger. Seeing the smile on Veronica’s face gave me an idea at how broken she was on the inside.

The pit in my stomach grew significantly larger within a few seconds, as I had lied to her about my feelings for Noah. My insides began to twist, turn and flip on themselves as I did the exact same actions with my hands.

I avoided looking at her, because if I did, the secret would find its way to her. And I wasn’t letting that happen.

_She knows…_

_She knows I like Noah_

“Anyway, Priya. What was the point of you inviting me on your date? _I_ still get a go of choosing, but I’m going with Noah so it’s fine.”

_What is she on about?_

“Enjoy your champagne.” She snarled and stormed off. I could hear her voice that she was upset, but I didn’t want to interfere with her mood.

_I don’t understand…_

_What’s gotten into her lately?_

I was approached by one of the women on the team. She took me to where there were no cameras and sat me down.

“Is everything okay?” She asked, softly.

“I just don’t understand why Veronica is making excuses for what Bobby did to her. Like… he- he- his intentions were to kill her. I don’t want her gone!”

She wiped the tears that began to trickle down my face with her thumbs and gave me a supportive smile.

“She’s going through a lot right now. It’s best to give her space.”

_This is all my fault_

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

**Noah**

_Priya’s looking fit today_

_Snap out of it, Noah!_

I shook my head and lay back on the sun lounger. I began slowly drifting into another world, where my past is the present.

Back to the club, where my mates introduced me to _Viper_. A stripper who always wore a mask that covered her entire face, which left a mystery behind her true identity.

“Noah mate, chill. You’re gonna love this!” Justin said to me as he opened the door.

The red lights in the room made me squint and the slow music pounded through my head.

Noticing a tall figure standing in a power stance by the silver, metallic pole.

Through dreaming of her, my other brain had woken up and gave her a standing ovation. 

Watching her parade around the pole in her high heeled shoes, and her index fingers pointing towards me as she came closer made me begin to grow harder. 

I kept thinking to myself; How am I enjoying this? It was not fun and deep down, I hated every second of it.

But… I was still brought back to that time anyway.

I watched as her fingers touched the choker around her neck and dragged down softly past her breasts and to her hips.

Pulling me off the chair she strapped me to and taking the fluffy handcuffs off with her pearly teeth.

Thinking about when I cursed under my breath to my mates that pushed me to go here.

Ever since that night I avoided strip clubs like the plague. And it wasn’t that I hated strippers or anything… I would’ve just rather spent some time with someone that had a _real_ job. Like Veronica.

The gears in my mind shifted ever so slightly and the buttons switched my loyal mind off. I opened my eyes and spotted Hannah alone on the lawn, applying her sunscreen.

_Hmm..._

Keep it innocent at first, then strike. That’s the key to getting the public to like you. 

Apparently.

_What if I were to just..._

“Hannah!” I called out to her. “I need your help with something.”

_What the hell am I doing?_

She came rushing towards me and I gazed at her slightly wavy hair bouncing up and down with each step, wishing I could run my fingers through her luscious locks and braid it.

“Hey hun, what’s up?” She asked, unbeknownst to my intentions.

_I don’t care what the public say about me after this_

_It’s not like I’m_ **_that_ ** _happy with Vee anyway_

She sat down next to me and I shifted closer to her. Her eyes shot down to her lap and she began fiddling with the ends of her hair.

I leant closer to her and let my eyes flicker to her lips.

_Veronica is going to kill me_

_Wouldn’t be the first time someone tried to kill someone here_

_I can’t believe he would do that though_

_Honestly_

“Noah, I um… what are you doing?”

“What are your thoughts on... me?” I asked.

_Wow well done_

_Pat on the back_ I thought to myself sarcastically as I took one of her hands in mine.

“I think you’re a lovely guy, and Veronica is so lucky to have you. I mean like… you’re just so sweet!” She gushed.

_Now or never_

_Hang on a minute! What the fuck am I doing? I’m meant to be loyal to Vee_

_Kiss her, you know you want to..._ a dark voice in my head told me.

“How are you feeling with Gary?” I asked.

“Don’t tell him I said this but I don’t think we’re really working as a couple. Mates? Definitely. But as a couple? Not really…” She said while looking at the ground.

_Hmm..._

“Yeah I could see that. Maybe there’s someone in here that could be better for you…”

_Came on too strong there_

_Tone it down_

“I mean… I’m sure there’s someone in here that likes you.”

“How about you and Vee, you two look all loved up already.”

“That’s how it seems from the outside… I’m already having doubts.” I blurted out.

_Shit_

_What the fuck was that?!_

“Really?” She asked, her expression changing slightly. A crease forming in her brow.

“Um- I mean... no, not at all! I do really like her...”

“Sure…” she said and turned away from me slightly.

_Shit_

_Just bloody go for it already_

_Kiss her_

I shifted my weight closer to her and shakily cradled her face in my hands.

I wouldn’t usually get _this_ nervous around girls, but there was something about Hannah that made my stomach somersault.

“Noah… I’m sorry. I‘d better go.” She said while keeping her eyes glued to the astroturf.

She pushed me slightly away as she got up.

“Did I-did I do something… wrong?”

“You just told me you don’t like being with Veronica! She’s one of my best friends here…”

_Is she though?_

_Is she_ **_really_ ** _?_

“...and you- ugh! Men are so hard to understand!” She raged and stormed off.

_You fucked up_

_Well done Noah_

**Veronica has chosen you as her date, please head to the garden now**

_The garden?_

_Where the hell is the garden?_

I got to my feet and headed towards the changing room. As I got to the door I began to hear singing coming from the bathroom.

 _“You can dance! You can ji-ive! Having the time of your life!_ **_Ooooooh_ ** _!”_

I took that it was _probably_ Henrik and went on my way into the dressing room.

_Wonder how this date is gonna go now..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like someone’s having some doubts already 👀


	11. I’d Love To See Me From Your Point Of View

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Sorry, not sorry. 😆**

**Priya**

“Here, Gaz. That’s not how you do it, _mate_.” Lottie grabbed the lemon off him and began squeezing the juice out the correct way.

Gary watched Lottie closely while a smirk crawled across his thin lips, secretly hoping the lemon was his d-

_Definitely, that’s definitely it._

_We can all see he’s been stealing glances_

Gary took control again but let Lottie help him. She handed a round of lemonade to everyone and we then clinked our glasses together.

I held the rim to my lips and tilted the glass up. I took a sip of the lemonade which made my mouth pucker up.

“Gary! You forgot to add the sugar!” Marisol scolded.

_Calm your tits, love_

_It’s fine_

“Oops! Sorry, my bad…”

The room got seemingly more quiet as the “Lovebirds” entered the kitchen.

_Oooh look_

_They’re holding hands_

**_Gag!_**

They got ‘distracted’ on their way back, and god only knows what they ended up doing.

Gary shot two glasses of lemonade down to the end of the counter, which nearly fell off, but Noah caught them.

I watched his graceful hands carefully as he picked up the lemonade, wishing my neck were the glass and wishing my lips were the rim of it.

_God I want to kiss that man._

_And do a lot more things to him._

_If only there were a way to seduce him..._

I think everyone noticed the excitement on my face as an idea popped into my head.

_Go. For. It._

_Kiss him when Veronica isn’t near._

_Call it: Mission_ **_Not_ ** _Impossible, as it won’t be impossible to turn his head, as Veronica had already done it._

_But what would she say about it? She won’t want her heart broken the second time this week already._

_I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?_

———————

I caught Noah in the living room alone, wiping under his eyes with his fingers. He held his head in his hands after that and began crying again.

_What the fuck?_

“Noah, babes. Are you okay?” I asked as I ran over to him. I sat next to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

“Veronica and I had a fight,” he sobbed, burying his face in my hair.

“Oh honey, I’m sure everything will be alright!”

_...until I turn your head._

“Really?”

“Mhmm, but…” I said, before adding, “I think you should… _explore your options a little_. Don’t just stick to one girl in here… because, what if Veronica screws you over for someone else? What will you do then?” to the end.

“She wouldn’t do that! She’s a good girl. But if she _did_ , who could I possibly couple up with?”

“What about me?”

“You’d couple up with me?” He asked, his dark eyes now on me.

I took a short step closer to him and flicked my hair behind my shoulder.

“Of course. You’re sweet, honest and not to mention, you’re _super hot,_ ” I said, in a flirty way. I bit my lower lip lightly as I took another step closer to him.

He moved closer to me and we were almost face to face, a few centimetres apart.

“You’ve been a great friend to me, and Veronica. Thank you.” He said.

He held his arms out as he came towards me. I wrapped my arms around him and inhaled the over-empowering scent of Louis Vuitton.

“You look _really_ fit today, by the way.” He whispered, his lips grazing against my earlobe.

_Ohhh my goodness!_

“Thank you, hun. You look fit _every_ day.” I hit back with a cheeky grin.

_Stay on task!_

_Make his head spin faster than the speed of light._

He pulled back a little so he was looking straight into my eyes. The perfect moment to strike.

I tilted my head suggestively and leaned in closer to him. Our lips were millimetres apart but I was waiting for _him_ to kiss _me_ instead.

_Come on,_

**_Don’t be shy!_ **

_You know you want to..._

He didn’t move a muscle in that moment, so I took initiative and pressed my lips against his.

He smiled against my lips, which confused me quite a lot, while trailing his hands downwards to the small of my back.

_Mate..._

_Why isn’t he pulling away?_

_Does he feel the same way?_

He seemed to know what he had done and stumbled back, away from me.

“Oh, oops! I- um… Sorry. That was uh…”

“That was nice.” I said and gave him a cheeky grin.

“No! I mean… like. Sorry… I lost myself for a second, I shouldn’t have done that. Sorry! I’d better go.”

His shoulders tensed and tightened and he wrung his hands out as he turned to leave the room.

_What the fuck was that?_

_One minute he’s all ‘Oh Priya, I wanna kiss you’ and now…_

_Ughhh!_

_Why are men so impossible?_

“I’ll see you later. Wow. Bye!” He said and quickly left the room.

_Uh… okay then?_

“I can’t believe I kissed Priya!” I heard him whisper shout from outside the door.

_Yes, you kissed me_

_And now Veronica is going to kill you_

**Veronica**

I scrubbed under my eyes in the bathroom, trying to get rid of the godforsaken tears that spewed from my tear ducts.

I looked in my reflection to see the bruising had yellowed, almost vanishing.

Noah and I had just had a fight. A big one.

**———————**

**Five minutes ago, the roof terrace.**

The light breeze tousled my hair as I looked on the horizon line, studying the pinks and blues of the afternoon sky.

A presence rocked the peace away from behind me. Noah stood in the doorway with the sun gleaming against his sepia, reddish-brown skin contrasting to the pink and blue tones of the sky. His fists were bawled and a crease furrowed in between his brows, so I knew I was in trouble.

“Hey, babe!” I said, trying to stay calm.

“Don’t _babe_ me.” He hissed as he bounded towards me.

“W-what’s going on? I don’t understand…”

He took hold of me by the shoulders with a tight grip and backed me against the wall.

“Priya told me something about you that made me _very_ angry,” he muttered, hints of sour acid coursing the tone of his voice.

I gulped loudly as my breath quickened its pace, Noah’s grip on my shoulders tightening further and further every second. Pure anger darkened his amber eyes and a flash of danger ran across his face.

“What… what did she say?”

“Wow! You’re acting like you _don’t_ already know? You’re so dense sometimes!” He laughed dryly, bringing his angered face closer to mine.

“No, like, babe, listen to me. I haven’t told Priya _anything_ that I haven’t told you! She doesn’t even know about Bobby!”

A silence filled the air and the waves crashed against the cliff, causing a loud splash to ring through my ears.

“And yet… she does.”

_What. The. Hell?!_

“How? What? Why? Who told her?” I asked. I racked my brain trying to come up with a reason as to how _Priya_ , of all people, would know.

“How the fuck am I supposed to know that?!” He hissed while baring his pearled teeth.

He rested his forehead against mine and his warm breath brushed softly against my lips, contrasting the anger emitting in the room.

I was thrown into a mix of the past and the present as I kept seeing a flickering image of Noah switching to Bobby and back again before my eyes.

_It’s just a nightmare, you’ll wake up and everything will be fine, right?_

“Seems to me like Priya’s just been stirring the pot, or is it you? What’s your plan in here? You gonna play me like you played Bobby, huh?”

_Fucking hypocritical ass..._

I gathered all of my strength into my arms and attempted to push him away from me.

I didn’t even realise what I was doing, the ring Lottie had lent me flew into the air and out of sight, presumably into the pool or onto the astroturf.

“Look what you just made me do!” I cried out before thinking about Taylor Swift.

_Ooh, look what you just made me do, look what you just made me do_

“Oh it’s just a ring.”

 _It’s_ **_just_ ** _a ring, he says_

As those words left his lips, the anger in my blood became too hot to handle. I gave him one last glare and left the room without another word.

**———————**

My eyes flickered away from the mirror, just as a phone went off in the bedroom.

_Oh, great._

_I’ve to go back out looking like_ **_this?!_ **

_Absolutely lovely!_

**Islanders, today’s challenge is about airing your dirty little secrets… please head to the fire pit immediately!**

_Uh oh_

_I hope_ **_that_ ** _secret doesn’t come up_

My worst nightmare became a reality in the next few minutes…

**———————**

We arrived at the challenge station and sat on the benches in our couples, with Lucas and Henrik being an honorary couple for this challenge.

_Lucas-Henrik?_

_Lurik?_

**_Lurik!_ **

“We’ll ace this challenge,” Lucas said as he wrapped an arm around his friend’s shoulders.

“You bet it, boo.”

Lottie clapped her hands together in an attempt to gather our attention.

“Alright you lot, let’s get cracking! One by one we’ll each read out a secret about another person and we have to guess who it’s about. Got it?”

A chorus of cheers emitted from the benches as the game began. Hope ran toward the table and grabbed the first quote-bubble-shaped board.

“____ once sexted his grandma as his mates changed her name and profile picture in his phone.”

_Mate, that’s gold_

“Oh my days! That’s so funny!” I squealed, earning myself a glare from Hope.

“No it’s not, if it were me, that friendship would be over.”

_Geez, calm down_

I wrote Gary onto the board. Noah peered over my shoulder and nodded.

“Seems like the type. He’s always on about his nan too.”

We turned our boards around and a few different names were written on the boards. Mainly Henrik and Gary.

_Come on, please be right_

Hope ripped off the tape covering the name just as Gary covered his bright red face.

_Called it_

“We _need_ the deets!”

_No one says that but, yes_

Gary began retelling the story which took an eternity and I nearly fell asleep while listening to him drone on about him having to take his nan to bingo every night and doing chores for the whole summer.

It seemed like Marisol had had enough of it though, as she ran to the table and grabbed another board. My heart thumped out of my chest as I saw the word **_propose_ ** typed into the quote bubble.

Marisol cleared her throat and turned the board around. My stomach dropped and my heart sank as she read the bubble out.

“______ proposed to her ex of _four_ years but he _immediately_ dumped her, by **_letter_ ** _!_ ”

_That’s not the whole story..._

I rolled my eyes but everyone had already turned their boards around.

“Girls propose to guys?” Henrik asked in disbelief.

_Duh_

I quickly scribbled Priya’s name onto the board and turned it around.

“The answer was… Veronica?” Marisol said, a confused look struck on her face, as did with everyone else’s.

I sunk down into my seat and flashed back to a memory from last year.

**———————**

**January 19th 2018, Glasgow, Scotland.**

I unlocked the door to our apartment in a rush. I hustled in and closed the door, locking it behind me.

I noticed the apartment was a mess, as usual so I decided today would be the day to clean it.

_I wonder what he’ll say if it’s clean when he gets home_

I looked around the house, searching every nook and cranny for cleaning supplies but, nope. We didn’t have any.

I had to unlock the door again and show my face to the world. I saw my neighbour, Via, down the hall and thought about asking if she had any.

“Via? Do you have any cleaning wipes or a mop or anything?”

She turned on her heel and said “ _Veronica Scott_ asking for cleaning products? Never thought I’d see the day!”

I rolled my eyes but stopped mid-way as I really needed some wipes, or a mop or _something_ . _Anything_ to clean my apartment with.

“I’ll get you some supplies now.”

She vanished into her apartment and I was left in the hall, alone. After a minute of silence, a jolt of electricity and a pump of adrenaline shot through my veins as I remembered…

_Today’s the day!_

She returned from her apartment a minute later with a mop, bucket and sprays for me. “Want help?” She offered.

“Sure! Thanks Via.”

We began to clean the apartment from top to bottom. An hour went by and we had already finished the kitchen and living room.

It was time to clean the bedroom, I hesitated to let Via in, but I let her anyway. She laughed as she saw the boxes of condoms on my bedside locker.

“Big night planned?” She asked.

“Yes, actually. I’m proposing to him tonight!”

“Really? That’s great! I’m so happy for you two! I better be invited to the wedding.”

“You will be, don’t worry. And I’ll make sure you get a good seat in the church.”

We finished cleaning the room and I hung my favourite picture of Bobby and I back up above the bed.

We cleaned the bathroom and then had some lunch with a cup of tea.

“Thank you, Via. You’re so helpful”

She waved me away and said “No bother hun. I wasn’t going to be doing anything today anyway.”

She left shortly after and I headed to the shops.

I picked out a beautiful bouquet of red roses and I was tempted to buy a cake, but Bobby was a baker and he might have gotten offended.

I paid for the roses and was on my way out the door when my phone rang. It was my sister, Alanna.

“What do you want?” I asked.

“ _Someone’s_ in a mood! Anyway, have you proposed yet?”

“No, he’s still at work. _The one day I’m off, he’s in!”_

“I hope it goes according to plan. Good luck sis!”

“Thank you, Lana. Take care of yourself.”

The thing is, Alanna and Via are _so_ happy for me, which is great. Like them, I’m so happy too. I’m happy they like Bobby… well, they like the Bobby he **_shows_ ** them.

He never showed them who he truly was and that made me nervous for the future. What if he always put his mask on whenever we’re out, then when he takes it off, it won’t be pretty.

I was thinking about the actual ceremony the other day. It would be so romantic, with doves, a huge cake and our friends. But as soon as the bedroom doors close, he’ll try to go back to his violent ways, but I _can_ change him. 

_He wouldn’t hurt his wife, would he?_

Alanna hung up and I walked back to the apartment block.

As soon as I got in I ran the faucet and filled a vase with water. I carefully opened the bouquet and put the roses one by one into the vase.

I opened the wine glass hamper and took two glasses out. I poured some red wine into both and placed them on the coffee table.

I lit a few candles, dimmed the lights and called Domino’s. The food was to arrive in half an hour, five minutes after Bobby would come home.

I changed into a long, black dress with the shoulders cut out and put a pair of black heels on, courtesy of Primark. I fumbled with my earrings, nervousness getting the better of me.

_What if he says no?_

I applied some makeup and spritzed perfume on my wrists. I didn’t spray it on my neck because Bobby hates the taste of it. Well everyone _should_ , but he just doesn't like it there .

I was about to sit down on the couch when the doorbell rang.

It was Johnny. 

He had an envelope in his hands and a massive shit-eating grin on his face. My heart sank as this could only mean one thing… Bobby must have confessed to Johnny about me wanting him to cut ties with him. So now he would be mad, but happy, because every single person in Bobby’s family hates me. Except Bobby.

Initially the reason why I wanted Bobby to break ties with him was because Johnny was such a bad influence on him, especially when I came to alcohol and smoking.

He also called me a ‘slut’ an _endless_ amount of times, so that’s another reason why I dislike him.

The grin on his face worried me a little. I fiddled with the velvet box in my fingers behind my back as he opened his mouth to speak.

“What do you want, Johnny?”

“My _son_ wanted me to give you this.” He said and handed me the envelope. It had my name on it in Bobby’s sloppy handwriting.

_Bobby isn’t his son though_

_Stepson_

He walked away while whistling cheerfully and my stomach dropped.

_Why is he so happy? Did something bad happen?_

I tried to wait until Bobby got home to open the envelope but an hour went by and he still hadn’t arrived. I tried thinking of a logical explanation as to why he would be late home but I couldn’t think of anything.

I placed the blue, velvet box onto the coffee table as I heard the doorbell ring. It was the pizza delivery guy, or just Bill, as I liked to call him.

“Hello Mrs. McKenzie!” He said cheerfully and handed me the pizza box.

“I told you to stop calling me that, Bill.” I said and handed him 20 pounds.

He gave me a smile as I closed the door.

_I can’t wait any longer_

I ripped open the envelope and my life fell apart in seconds.

_Lass,_

_As I write, I already feel that I will regret this letter forever..._

**Present time**

“He dumped you by letter. Are you… oh my god why would someone do that?!”

”Woah, calm down babe. It’s okay!”

“How is _that_ okay?” Noah hissed, clearly aggravated.

I turned to look directly at him and a dreaded smirk crawled it’s way onto my lips. “Why do you care anyway? Like, it’s not a big deal,” I said.

It _was_ a big deal. A huge deal. A deal that flipped my life upside down.

“I actually can’t believe you right now,” he muttered, causing my blood to reach boiling point.

I reacted by shouting things I didn’t mean in a fit of rage. I began to realise how much I was actually like Bobby, and how much of him had rubbed off onto me like a carbon footprint. 

“You know what, Noah? Go fuck yourself!” I shouted before throwing the board on the ground, I pushed him out of my way and walked away from the group.

I had walked a few metres away from the others, and my listening ears could hear a few whispers.

From my peripheral vision, I could see the challenge in full swing without me. I didn’t want to go back though, as I had just ruined my relationship with Noah. 

Though, this was my chance to get away from the trouble I had caused. I got to my feet, looking back towards the challenge area I could see it had come to a halt. Noah had left his seat and began running towards me, he called my name trying to reach my attention but I didn’t listen.

I began jogging back to the villa, but a sound stopped me. I heard familiar sounding footsteps grow louder as he ran towards me, so I ran faster. Faster away from the trouble. And faster away from the danger and the sorrow I had caused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 👀
> 
> Rock the boat, come on, rock the boat, baby. Rock the boat but **don't tip it over**
> 
> Starting with the boat jokes already and Graham isn’t even here!


	12. No Going Back

Noah had caught up and threw his arms around me, causing me to tense up. But then I remembered who it was. I was safe in the arms of the man who I thought was about to leave me, but he cared enough to check on me.

Rocco called out the next card loud enough so I could hear it. “Rumour has it that _____ used to have a partner called ____.”

_ Oh. Shit. _

_ Please don’t be me _

I folded my arms together as I sat down, curling up into a ball just like my insides.

I then heard “Rumour has it that  **_Noah_ ** used to have a partner called…  **_Priya_ ** _.” _

_ I’m sorry what?! _

_ Priya and Noah what?! _

He tensed behind me, the breath hitching in his chest. I turned my head to look back at him, and he wore a guilt-filled look on his face.

“There’s something you’re not telling me, where were you earlier after our fight?” I asked, not knowing why I was asking that.

He avoided eye contact, and the question, however. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart, for the way I acted back there. It wasn’t my place to say any of that…” he said, kissing my temple softly.

_ Sweetheart? _

I exhaled deeply, focussing on the sensation of our skin touching as I un-curled myself from the wall and pressed my back against his chest.

He lifted his arms and brought his hands closer to my face, separating a strand of my hair. He began braiding it slowly as I listened to the harmonies of our hearts.

“I’m sorry for storming off, babe. It’s just… I’m kind of wary about Priya  _ anyway,  _ but now that I’ve found out you had an ex with the same name… and you didn’t even bother to tell me about it,” I said, making sure to give my tone of voice some seriousness so he’d understand I was angry.

“I didn’t realise how important that was to you,” he replied, running his fingers up my side and letting both hands rest lightly on my shoulders.

“Of course it’s important! If we’re in a relationship we have to tell each other things and not close ourselves off.”

“I need to keep some things from you, for now. It’s for your own good. And it’s not that I don’t think you’re good enough for me or anything, which you are, but…” he trailed off.

A strong punch flew into my gut as those words left his mouth, causing tears of agony and pain to trickle down my burning cheeks. My heart shattered into a billion broken particles, but he didn’t seem to notice.

_ He thinks I’m only good  _ **_enough_ ** _? _

_ Thinking “oh, she’ll do.” _

I shrugged his hands off my shoulders and didn’t look back as I headed off back to the villa, not wanting to look at him again.

———————

A dumping had been announced, so we were getting ready quietly in the dressing room for the night full of drama ahead of us.

I swiped some lightening concealer under my eyes just as an emotional looking Priya entered the room. The girls and I stopped what we were doing and began asking her if she was okay.

“No,” she said, fanning away her tears so her mascara wouldn’t run.

_ What’s up with her? _

I stood out of my chair and ran over to give her a hug. She tensed up as my arms snaked around her shoulders, but I hugged her tighter.

“I’m sure whatever it is isn’t that bad, honey,” I said, wiping the tears from beneath her dark eyes.

She sniffled loudly, turning away from me. She was acting as if she had done something really bad and then regretted it, but at the same time she could’ve been faking it for attention.

I sat down again at my makeup station and took out my eyeshadow palette. The one Bobby had given me for our one year anniversary of being together.

I smiled to myself, looking at the neutral tones and bright colours as the raindrops fell down from the sky. Hope noticed the tears falling gently from my eyes and came to sit next to me.

“You okay, hun?” She asked, taking her own look at the palette.

“I miss him so much,” I cried, shakily wiping my tears away.

“Miss who?” Hope asked, wrapping a comforting arm around my shoulders.

“Bobby...”

“Seriously? You miss the bloke who tried to kill you? Wow! That’s  _ fucked up.” _

_ No it’s not! _

_ What’s fucked up is your perception of Bobby and I’s relationship! _

“...And I’m sorry Veronica, but he’s an absolute prick, and I can’t believe you actually liked him while he was here.”

I sniggered.

_ I  _ **_liked_ ** _ him? _

_ I didn’t “like” him _

_ I didn’t even  _ **_love_ ** _ him _

_ I was ready to  _ **_die_ ** _ for him, and I still would to this day _

And I nearly did. I nearly died for him because of his own actions on more than one occasion. I would do  _ anything _ for him. I was so in love with him that I couldn’t even bring myself to look at Noah anymore.

It was him, it had always been him. And there was no other way to make my feelings go away. I had tried before, countless times. God I even changed my identity to try to get over him. But that didn’t work.

_ Nothing _ ever worked.

I engraved in my mind that I would be with him for eternity, but that got cut short.

I carved those words into my skull and brain so deep with a knife that I would never be able to get over him.

I hit the bottom of the pit of love, with nowhere to go. Too deep in love with him. Every day wishing he could still be here, but one small mistake took that away from the both of us. Thinking of him reminded me of the good times we used to have, they were rare, but every loving moment with him melted my heart and stuck with me. And will stick with me for the rest of my life.

There were some questions I probably should have been asking myself in the wake of the breakup, but that wasn’t quite possible, because as soon as my relationship ended, I hit the club.

I had waited approximately one menstrual cycle before I threw myself to the life I was now living, travelling around the world in need of an escape. Searching the towns far and wide for my next client.

I was a textbook serial monogamist who simply  _ refused _ to be single for long, so I opted for an alternative to that. In retrospect I had no doubt that I moved too fast and that I would have saved myself some anguish by taking the time to heal after the failed romance.

The romance that I wish had never failed.

———————

**Fire pit**

The light breeze picked up in force, causing the fire to dance around us like acts in a parade on Saint Patrick’s Day.

The amber glow shone onto our skin, lighting the dull mood. Hope seemed to be the only person who had their spirits lifted as her phone went off.

“I got a text!” She sang, her angelic voice fluttering through the wind.

“We know,” I hissed, earning myself a glare from most of the others.

**Islanders, tonight you will each vote in your couples for which couples you think are most and least compatible! Please disperse around the villa immediately.**

I had been too deep in my own head to realise what was actually happening. There was a dumping but I couldn’t comprehend it, I wouldn’t let myself.

Somebody, if not two people , were about to go home, about to leave their old lives and become internet superstars, but I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything right now except Bobby.

I hoped he was okay wherever he was, whether it be at home on his own or in an insane asylum, God knows where he  _ actually _ was. And that worried me.

When I lived with him, he used to leave knives lying all around the gaff, so I was scared that he’d end up doing something dangerous with them.

I followed Noah down to the pool where we sat in silence for a moment.

We sat close together with our thighs touching as he pulled out his phone. He closed his eyes for a few moments

The golden amber tones of his eyes gave me a sense of warmth and peace in this moment of tension.

“I think we should talk this through together…” I said.

He returned my gaze and a small, sad smile spread across his thin lips.

“I was just about to say that,” he said while unlocking his phone.

His thumbs hovered over the letters on the keyboard as we began trying to make a decision.

“Well, we can’t vote for ourselves as the best couple, so what about… Priya and Ibrahim?”

“I haven’t really seen much of Priya and Rahim together,” I replied, causing Noah’s face to fall.

“But Rahim’s my best mate here, and Priya…”

“What about Priya? And why was she so upset earlier?” I asked, pushing for him to tell me something, something I regretted asking as soon as the words escaped my lips.

“She… After our argument earlier she- I was sitting on the couch in the living room and she… she came up to me and asked if I was okay. I told her I wasn’t, and then she started rambling on about how you don’t like me and you’re just playing the game. And then-”

“Hold on, hold on,  _ hold on _ . That’s not true! I really like you, babe. Priya’s just trying to get into your head, and she’s probably trying her hardest to turn your head in her direction, but I’m not letting that happen.”

He sighed loudly, looking at the ground and thinking about what he wanted to say. A smirk emerged on his lips for a split second before he said, “She kissed me.”

I was in a state of pure and utter shock. I had no idea what to do at that moment except curl back up into my little ball.

“I guess you just go after loads of girls with the same name...” I trailed off, remembering what happened in the challenge.

“That’s not true!  _ Your _ name isn’t Priya!” He blurted out in anger.

“Wow! Imagine that! I’m glad my name isn’t Priya. Because if it was, you’d just wanna stay with me, control me and play me like a little fucking game!” I shot back.

Noah rolled his eyes and made the decision to answer the compatibility question by himself, typing four names into his phone.

I tried to catch a glimpse of whose names he had typed in, but he kept his phone out of my reach, and not in a teasing way either.

“We have to make this decision as a  _ couple _ ,” I stated. He didn’t look at me once.

He locked his phone and began walking back to the firepit. 

Without me.

_ What is up with him? _

_ This isn’t like Noah. _

_ Did something  _ **bad** _ happen? _

_ Why was he so defensive of Priya? _

_ I have so many questions!! _

My mind raced and raced through the night as I headed back to join the others, Noah-less.

He sat on the other end of the bench away from me, and  _ everyone _ seemed to notice. Henrik and Marisol hadn’t come back yet so it was just them we were waiting on. They were up on the terrace, chatting. They looked down, right at me and then Noah, and quickly looked down at the phone before leaving to join us.

_ Uh oh! _

_ We might be going home... _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! It means the world to me that some of you have stuck around for this shitshow 😭❤️❤️

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy!


End file.
